Why men get married: it's not about you

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Men don't approach marriage the same way that women do. Given the enormous risk and responsibility entailed, most men will only consider the possibility of marriage when everything in their life is working. This means that they have arrived at some measure of professional success and financial security, and that there are no significant problems in their relationships. In order to get married, it's much more important that women be unproblematic than highly desirable.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#relationship #marriage #men

[psychacks]

Men don't approach marriage the same way that women do. Given the enormous risk and responsibility entailed, most men will only consider the possibility of marriage when everything in their life is working. This means that they have arrived at some measure of professional success and financial security, and that there are no significant problems in their relationships. In order to get married, it's much more important that women be unproblematic than highly desirable.

Book a paid consultation:


Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#relationship #marriage #men

[GregsWorkshopOregon]

"A man must first decide where he's going before he decides who is going with him."

[dificulttocure]

If a woman is already problematic before getting married, she will be a nightmare after. That's like a job candidate being lazy and disrespectful during the selection process, before even getting the job.

[charliewhon]

My husband wasn’t set up financially or even looking for a wife when we met. He tells me he decided to get married because he felt he wouldn’t find another woman like me if he passed me up. We’ve been married 25 years, have 4 children and 3 grandchildren.
We’ve never made a lot of money or have had most of the things he thought he wanted, but we have had a very close and loving family.
That’s good enough for me.

[brandonwilliams]

I'm terrified of choosing the wrong woman, and then having my family destroyed

[dougk]

Absolute “Stellar” advice.

At around 8:24 he says, all most word for word, what I asked myself a couple times in life, including two engagements, for me it was “Can I live like this for the rest of my life (especially if I don’t try and address it now)?” Dodged a couple of bullets.

Good luck to all. Please strongly consider and applying what the Doctor has to say in this video.

[linkjr]

As a guy, I actually resented the assertion that women compete against men for money, but as I thought about it, he is fundamentally correct.

[brians]

This is awesome advice. I married the wrong woman and am a divorced single Dad now. I'm only glad that I don't have to go through the misery of living with her for the rest of my life. Everything the Doc says is on point.
This video should be required viewing for all of you dudes out there.

[gabrielcastrovivas]

I married the woman who seemed to be unproblematic, supportive and charming at what seemed to be the right moment of my career. The day after I discovered a completely different woman in my bed. There is a joke which goes "When did you know your wife?" "After the wedding" is the answer...

[EstellaLynn]

Let me say, it is not just men that prioritize PEACE. Id like a man that is calm and doesnt have anger issues. And is capable of reasonable conversation during disagreements instead of yelling, belittling or being passive aggressive.

[GregoryKing-llus]

As an older man, I've talked to so many women who do not understand that men prize peace. They think that pushing and confrontation adds excitement to the relationship. Most men know women thrive on drama, keep up the good work, wish you were around in the 70's and 80's, could've saved me a steep learning curve.

[pdescham]

MEN just want PEACE. and not PROBLEMS. You don't need to be a super model.

[beowulf_of_wall_st]

Unproblematic is so much more important than anything, very important insight. I know tons of guys who are in long term relationships and never took that step and every one of them will tell you that their woman has some unstable, vengeful, or capricious trait that makes marriage impossible

[numwillie]

Plenty of women have an intuitive sense of this and will hold off on introducing problems until after the wedding.

[Milestonemonger]

My husband had I have been married for 40 years. We've watched couples around us divorce as soon as they hit the first bump in the road. Marriage isn't easy. "For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, " those aren't just words. They are the true test of a genuine friendship/relationship. Supporting each other through seriously tough times, cements your bond where nothing and no one can come between you.

[LorenzoMasterConnector]

The crazy thing is that the world is super unstable right now and it feels very difficult to get even have a baseline…

[jaytan]

Another model is to marry young and build your life together. I married at 26 with nothing to offer except courage and attitude. Waited a year for my wife to graduate from medical school. It has turned out much better than expected 35 years on.

[AZ-uocg]

Finally, someone said it plainly. LISTEN to this message ladies. It will save you your good years on a false hope.

[gx]

I usually tune in to these episodes and I had to comment on this one. I'm 22 and I am pleased that I found this video now. Definitely saved me from making a bad choice.

[Khan-rzqi]

Doc there’s also the angle of the fact that women of today no longer value potential and more so results. A man who pairs up with a woman who stuck by him since his humble beginnings is far more likely to appreciate her and remain loyal for the long term. Men who are already established and accomplished will be far less generous in terms of bending their lives to accommodate a woman. In life, we often cant have it both ways.