Perfectionism: Impossible Standards & Childhood Trauma

Perfectionism is created by a childhood environment where the person experienced that their perfect imperfections were not welcome, committed, or accepted.

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Hi, I'm Kenny Weiss 👋

My channel is all about speaking truth and taking responsibility for healing our emotional pain so we can reclaim our authentic selves.

I will be providing you the skills and tools to heal childhood trauma, childhood emotional neglect, codependency, narcissistic abuse, stress, shame, fear, anger, sadness, self-deception, self- sabotage, depression, divorce, relationship problems, parenting, parental alienation, estrangement, addiction, mental health, mindset, self-love, the worst day cycle and more.

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[JacobandDad]

Hey Kenny!!!! Could you make a video on how to be ashamed less or not be ashamed to heal from being ashamed or shame ashamed or shame shame is a feeling i deal with everyday now im even having trouble typing this letter or text to let you know its because i grew up in hostile environment and aggressive environment were my words were critiqued and judged and they would become angered angry at me so i faced rejection and became somebody else could you also talk about how to really share what your thinking and feeling or ideas and memories or emotions i find i lock up and don't tell others how im really feeling and all these things as well, it's because they were unsafe the people growning up and i had around as friends i also had developmental delays hard for me to admit makes me sad and to cry even though i don't cry as well i didn't speak for 4-5 years of my life that's effected me and I've had a " quote on quote " learning disablity my whole life I don't know what that is or this but i know God created me the way i am and Special as well God loves you Jesus loves you God bless as well could you make a video on how to take back youe power from others and feelings thoughts ideas and memories others give you they triggered you or me and as well i know it's because i was parentifed and a parenta as a child from like 8 years old to 17 years old some were around those ages i started it and stopped at 17 when i had the sense my mom was narcissist and using me as a parent and therapist i was done my feelings were never heard i was never heard i was hurt

[Marty]

1 + 2, no praise. When you try hard and achieve something that you were criticised for and instead of praise all you got is another target where you’re not ticking the box 🥺 I’m now 35 and trying to undo the damage and it’s effing hard work, decades of shame and feeling like I’m not enough 😔 I AM ENOUGH! I’m so mad at my parents and I feel so ashamed just for the thought because only positive thoughts and emotions were alowed in our house. A year ago my father told me that he was proud of me when I showed him plants in my garden, I was so shocked and thought it was the most bizarre situation because I never heard him say it beforehand. Roughly 30 years too late but thanks anyway.

[kawaii_princess_castle]

A lot of old fashion parents are like that specially in a country with long term fascist government like Spain ( Francoism 1936-1975)

[hyperionsolomon]

Everything but the praise part. 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days out of the year, every hour of the day and even when everything was absolutely perfect it somehow was absolutely wrong. So later in life I ended up having the same expectations from my children which meant that nothing was ever enough, and this was terrible. I spent many years rewinding that damage, and we don't have shaming in our home. We have lessons that are sometimes to learn the hard way but we grow from them. Thanks for the healing message Kenny. I hope it reaches lots of people

[elisabethm]

I was often overlooked until I made art, then and only then did I ever get any praise or affection from either parent. It was fully expected eventually I make stunning works . It was also expected I simply 'pass' mathmatics with no problems after suffering a tbi and diagnosed learning disorder. Every time I expressed my self I was in some way critizied. Every failure was scrutinized, and every achievement was simply good enough. Even if I earned 1st place in the art fair and my work went to state. My mother worked three jobs and is a perfectionist and workaholic herself. She often lets me know of my short come ings. She has been more lenient as my depression has advanced, but that still doesn't stop her from telling me to just stop being anxious. Nothing I have ever done, is or will be good enough. I cant get of my fear paralysis.

[BobSmith-kdoc]

You just described what my ex-father-in-law did to his daughters.
All he did was trained them to beat themselves up when they " failed"

[mikewood]

This is not specific or generally applied, I deal with this issue as of late, and did not before, and childhood was normal and good. I think ppl with addictive personalities tend to be susceptible to the all or nothing mindset. Which, for me at least, leaks into every aspect of life. If that was completely out of control, someone would have ocd I suppose.

[Acebytarot]

Praise part yes when It comes to what the parents considers good and or their own motives anything else would be the opposite reaction golden child as in ur my project to create and to shape so u must be perfect

[ericad]

2 out of 3 i didnt receive praise it was just doing what was expected of me

[eucf]

I had all of those applied to me as a child and even now I still get some of it from them