People Pleasing: An Addiction in Disguise | Janice Burt | TEDxActonAcademyGuatemala

Being liked. Isn't this a topic that we have faced countless times in our lifetime? Janice brings us, all the way from California, a method that can help us find "our true self".

[evie-c]

when you are raised in chaos, the high you get from offering peace or help to those we love is really something else - but it does truly come at a cost if there are no boundaries.

[pamcampbell]

one of the worst things about people pleasing is the way that behavior can cause you to start expecting everyone else to act the same way, at least that's been my experience

[grantstewart]

I found that people in the midst of people pleasing, believe they are entitled to your approval. If they don't get what they need from you, they become quite angry.

[robyncrosby]

IT IS SO ADDICTING! Especially when you have an anxious or ambivalent attachment style - we are human and we just want to feel like we are needed and appreciated.

[Techbaddiee]

As a people pleaser, I don’t care to help anyone. I just do it so I don’t get myself into trouble like getting thrown out, arrested, fired, etc. staying quiet has kept me out of trouble. But I do not care about those people I “ please” at the moment. Working on my situation so I can be who I truly am… unapologetically 🎉

[mariannemortimer]

It took me until I was about 25 to learn that not everyone has to like you, and you're not going to like everyone either! I think we can apply a similar thing to people pleasing.

[jonathancooper]

Took me thirty years to unlearn people pleasing. Hardest thing I’ve ever done by a country mile. But the best.

[Phoenixguy]

overcoming the fears inside, no matter how valid or how they were formed is the most diificult step for me. im always terrified of others reactions, verbal or physical, real or imagined.

[samanthakatzalay]

We are socialized from an early age to please people so that we fit in. Be nice, don't pinch that little boy, wait your turn... it starts as toddlers and then we self police it as children

[jimkaye]

What a great presentation. I am in my early 70's and just recently realized what I have been doing. "He is so nice" described me perfectly. I was bullied a LOT, had low self esteem, always until one day there was this awakening. You have helped me on my journey more than you know! THANK YOU !!

[AmyElizabethBehnke]

Christ is a great example to follow for being authentic and assertive 🎉

[elainarogers]

I'm convinced that if we put all people pleasers on an island, it would be a really nice place to live.

[finafy]

"Self love starts the moment when you trust to yourself". I should run a dozen of marathon before I 'll reach this confidence

[wfqsfg]

Its a long story but I discovered I was a people pleaser in my 60s. Once I discovered this through my own research I noticed so much of my daily energy and thoughts were geared towards getting approval or getting admired or impressing someone (bragging). I noticed it was an addiction. I kept planning in my mind my next encounter with someone to get either a friendly acknowledgement or some sort of approval. When I got it, it was like a drug. I got my fix. On to the next fix. Thinking about this I realized I never really fully developed me. I was what ever I needed to be at the moment. My discovering it is an addiction is only recent which I why I am looking at videos like this. Another thing. My career was a disaster. Struggled my whole career. Had a hard time making and keeping friends.

[kashaiq]

I think it's tough to get it right because a lot of the time the way we express love is a direct reflection of what we were deprived of as children. So you might not recognize the damage you're doing to yourself in order to please others

[dustinprichards]

As an inveterate people pleaser, this was a very useful talk for me!

[elaineclouston]

Oh yeah, can 100% relate to this. When I was younger my way of making friends was just giving them stuff and when I was a teenager I used to go to the mall with my 'friends' and steal things for them. Thankfully I grew out of this but as I got older I realized it was very much tied in to wanting people to like me and trying to please them.

[HopefulTribe]

AMEN! Thanks for this beautiful and timely presentation, Janice!

[miatbenjamin]

I think people pleasing is dangerous because it's not just about doing things people ask of you without question, it's about having that kind of personality where you're agreeable... like it's easier to just do/say this and really it doesn't bother me too much anyway... but if you have that mentality it's really difficult to just stop and figure out how you _actually_ think and feel about things... as well as how easy it is to be taken advantage of!

[swathi]

Awareness + healing wound + self love = desired outcome/freedom