Royal Marine breaks down on camera and reveals his PTSD nightmare

This emotional film is a window into the impact Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is having on our Armed Forces and Veterans who have seen combat service.

We thank former Royal Marine Ben Wadham, for allowing us to share his moving story in the hope that his fellow veterans battling the scars of their service may get the support they need.

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[DrewDubious]

Crying isn't a weakness Brother and it isn't wrong.

[guybrushthreepwood]

It's really weird how the human mind can develope such a high level of respect for a man I've never met in just under 4 minutes. I salute him.

[PaisleyPatchouli]

I spent every Sunday afternoon for six years visiting and talking with a WWII Combat Veteran who fought in the jungles of New Guinea for 9 months in 1943-44. He had very severe PTSD with what he called "Battle Dreams, " where he would wake up "screaming for ammo and grenades", and "talking to dead guys". He had not shared any of his combat experiences with anyone for 50 years until we started meeting every Sunday; after around 18 months he thanked me, saying that his battle dreams had subsided from 6 nights a week to 2 - 3 nights a month... I jokingly replied "no worries, I'm getting them now" and we had a chuckle about it; but it was true, and I did actually begin having his (and my own) PTSD dreams, even though I'm not a vet...
Later on I was speaking with an MD Psychiatrist and she told me that this was one of the main reasons that veterans don't get adequate therapy for their PTSD; because the therapists end up suffering from 'transference' and fatigue, and end up getting the PTSD themselves. She also told me that I had inadvertently given Joe the "gold standard" of PTSD therapy, which she described as long term (years) regular (weekly) intensive talking about the actual details of the horrors that they went through, with a person (friend/therapist) who had a genuine interest and empathy.
I ended up making a big website about Joe's life and experiences. He had actually carried a camera with him for most of the 5 years that he served, from 1941 thru 1945, and had taken approximately 500 B&W photos which were of very high quality, as he became a lifetime career professional photographer after the war. I also published a 3 hour video interview that I filmed with him around 20 years ago, when he was in his 90s, where he is showing his photos and souvenirs, and describing them. That documentary is posted here on my YouTube channel; please check it out if WWII history or veterans' affairs interests you!

[anthoneyschwoch]

Somebody tell that young man don't you ever apologize! You earned it man! If you want to cry you go ahead and cry! I'm a 57-year-old American and I have the utmost respect for this young man. ✌️❤️🤘

[WillowSeren]

Asking a veteran what his most difficult day of service was is a tough blow. That his response was to cry is no surprise at all. I hope he's doing well.

[spoopynoopers]

“Men don’t cry cause they are weak, they cry because they have been strong for too long”- Paulo Coelho

[jasonmacneil]

Ben, PLEASE don't apologize for showing emotion. IT IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS!! I had a Marine Corp gunny Sgt for a Grandfather. He was the best! He told me at a young age (10) that "crying (tears) are simply showing your heart felt feelings", and to "NEVER feel ashamed for showing these emotions". Please Ben, God loves you and He wants you to heal. Hang in there Brother.

[Drummercommander]

Never apologize for crying, it should always be okay to express your feelings

[broadkiwi]

Poor lad... You know he's a great guy when he's apologizing for something that he doesn't need to feel sorry for... Keep fighting the long battle friend, you've got thousands caring for you!

[AlphaAchilles]

I am currently suffering with PTSD so bad I can’t hardly leave my house. I deployed back in 2013 and ever since I came home I feel out of place. Almost like a fish out of water. For a few years I ignored the symptoms and life kind of spiraled out of control. Now I’m a little older and I hear the noises in the quiet of the house. I’m scared to close my eyes at night because I’m afraid on what I’ll see. I avoid mirrors because I don’t like what I see. I hope the VA is able to help me.

[seb]

The fact that the brain can hardly comprehend so much conflict just shows that humans are not built for war. Such a tragedy that we even still have wars and the effects of those who even survive. God bless this man, and all veterans

[kellygrubbs]

I dated a man with PTSD from Military Service and it was absolutely heart wrenching. I pray he’s found peace. Much respect for Military Personnel 🙏🏻🕊️♾️

[pancakeday]

If this was my son I’d be so proud. Strength, compassion, and intelligence.

[thedude-wnij]

Never apologise for having a cry mate, people want to help but aren’t embarrassed by that.
My best mate was RM, Ireland and the Falklands, PTSD and the nicest guy I ever had the privilege of calling a friend. No one has ever come close as a mate.
He’s been gone several years now, passed away but still with me when it’s quiet.
He always said we were so well trained, but not to cope with the aftermath. I used to just listen and offer my totally hopeless advice, usually after lots of beer.
You all mean so much to us as a nation, but resources seem to go elsewhere.
Look after yourself!

[Yshsamuel]

Lack of any reassurance from the camera crew is honestly upsetting, don’t apologize for crying brother, it isn’t a burden, you can’t bottle everything up forever

[patriot]

Had this question in an interview and the same response hit me, needless to say I didn’t get the job. Civilians don’t understand that’s why 90% of our friends are our friends because they understand. You’re helping people who don’t understand get a glimmer of understanding and you’re showing other Vets they’re not alone.

[BrotherSumi]

German soldier with PTSD here, you are not alone brother...

[mkerswill]

Any veteran would understand even without talking. The psychological effects of 3 tours of N. Ireland during the early seventies have ensured i would suffer for a lifetime, and bites when you least expect it. Ive been lost for the past 44 yrs. God bless every man & woman who decided to put their lives on the line for Queen & country. Only then will you understand ...

[curlysue]

PTSD is a killer. Please get help. Life should be lived not stuck in constant fear. I found learning about the Vagus nerve and Havening technique, group work and 1-2-1 therapy is making a huge difference to my recovery. Thank you for your service Ben and all others. The military needs to address this more... ❤️✌🏼🙏🏼

[harveytaylor]

DON'T APOLOGISE FOR SHEDDING TEARS BIG MAN ITS FINE. YOU'RE A HERO BROTHER💯
THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SERVICE 🙏🙏🙏
KEEP WELL AND STAY STRONG MY MAN 💯