Parents, Why Do you HATE or RESENT your CHILDREN? - Reddit Podcast

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[Legacy-swbv]

That last one is just heartbreaking. I can understand the father's position, but dang... that child is obviously trying to be the best son he can be, and sounds like an amazing person in general. That family needs to find activities that they can all do together instead of wallowing in the dissapointment of being unable to do the physical activities they wanted. Don't distance yourself from your child simply because they physically can't be what you wanted, especially when they're clearly trying to make up for the shortcomings that they had no control over.

[antares]

Father in the last story needs therapy like yesturday. That poor boy just wants his father's attention and aprovement. Meanwhile his father seems to suffer from depression and is a total jerk for trying to stay away from the boy and only do the required minimum. He seriously needs to take his head out of his ass and work on himself and the kid before it's too late.

[sinarodl]

And so many people are mad that some people don't want kids? Bro, this video right here is the perfect evidence of our worries and fears, lmao.

[jarrodjohnson]

The kid in the second story is 100% a psychopath

[igkslife]

Now imagine being these kids, 10-15 years down the line hearing how much they're hated by their parents.

From a YouTube video.

[hazelgrunts]

As an autistic person, I believe that if you can’t handle raising a disabled child, you shouldn’t choose to have a baby. There is always a chance that your child will come out to be disabled, and oftentimes there are conditions that run in your family that you’re fully aware of. If you know that Down syndrome runs in your family and you don’t want to have a child with Down syndrome, WHY HAVE A CHILD?!?!? You’re setting yourself up for failure and dooming your potential child (if they turn out to be disabled) to a life with parents that resent them.

[pjmacinnes]

I'm a mental health professional and I assure you. . . ODD is absolutely NOT "a crock." I also have ADHD and have been told many times that my own disorder isn't real. You hurt everyone when you make these kinds of statements. Please reconsider next time.

[jayblescashews]

That first one was the worst and i would disown that kid. The last one is the parents fault, some jock asshole births a smart, decent, and humble kid who can barely move. None of that is the kids fault and the parent needs to grow up and know there is more to life than the gym and traveling.

[balanceboy]

Most of these stories and ops really are just parents who hate their kids existence and refuse to say it. "I don't hate my kid..." Yes, yes you do.

[katieponulak]

I don't understand why people who knowingly have a high percentage of having a special needs child due to genetics still have kids in the first place.

I once worked at a state run facility for people with intellectual disabilities, one lady had 6 of her kids living there, all with different dads and all with profound disabilities. She thought that I was actually interested in her life story and straight up told me that she kept having kids until she had a "normal" one that she could dump responsibility of care of their siblings. She never had that "normal" one and regrets not getting sterilized when she had the chance.

Which is partially why I don't have or want kids now. The other part is that I like my freedom too much to be someone's indentured servant.

[jasminelav.]

There's a narrative I've noticed in online spaces that kids are just blank slates, and everything they are is what their parents made them. They refuse to accept that even children have personalities, and there's always the chance that a kid could be born to parents completely different from them. That even if you do everything right, you could just get unlucky and wind up with a child who is very, very wrong.

Next time I see one of those people, I'll just link them this video.

[vincentcleaver]

#2 is a sociopath. Not in training, not hyperbole, she is trying to unalive that baby because the baby is getting **her** attention.
Get CPS involved, stat

[cinderblockstudios]

It sounds a lot like most of these parents didn't really want kids in the first place, just the idea of kids for the sake of their own ego.

[SpamTongbutcool]

the last one was the worst, imagine not wanting to see your kid because they're better than how you were as a kid, what the fuck, "oh no, i can't see my son, he's nice to people, doesn't hurt animals, and learns stuff, i hate him for that"

[alyssamorgan]

Story 6 sounds like the kid suffers from extreme ADHD and Bipolar Assertive Disorder. Until that kid is on the proper meds, and the staff gets off their lazy asses and assign him an IEP, the kid isn't going to change.

[gdtestqueen]

Story 3: I’m disabled since birth and have spent my life around many others with varying ranges of disability.
Disability is not a “one size fits all” thing. For most conditions you can have a dozen children with the same it all at varying levels. With many, the kids and family can still live very good lives.
But it is hard. Hard in a way that people who have no experience with disability can’t imagine. It’s even something that can be hard for other families with disabled members to imagine as it’s so unique to each.

For such serious cases like this one, the strain placed on the parents is so immense it is not something one can prepare for.
Yes, there are books to read, videos to watch. But they in no way convey the true burden of care. I’ve always wondered if prospective parents were given a chance to spend time at a group home (or similar), if that might help.

For these severe instances the future can be so bleak. This is not a kid you can send into the yard to play. A kid who will make their own sandwich for school. This is a child that you will have to dress, feed (either manually or by tube), bathe, wipe poop, bush hair, accompany everywhere…for LIFE!
Get a night free because of a sleepover? Only if friends or family are trained and capable enough to do care or if you hire respite. Send the kid to college or work? No, if your lucky there will be a school program until they are 21 and then after that a day program that might give the caregivers a few hours break…because groceries still have to bought, errands run, appointments kept. And it all has to crammed into the brief moments of respite.

This is not a situation where the kid becomes independant and self sufficient. This is like having an infant/toddler until the day you go in a nursing home or die…so for 40-60 years!. And even then you have to make sure there is someone to care for your child. When you are crippled over with arthritis at 80 this child will still need you to change them, cut their food, hold their hand across the road.
And the scariest thing is how to care for the child when you are gone or unable.

And these severely disabled children grow into adults. It’s one thing to carry a 2 year old up stairs, even a 10 year old. It’s something else entirely to do that with a 30 year old. And you know the tantrum a 5 year old throws? Hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, screaming. Now picture a 40 year old full grown 6 foot man having that? I have personally seen extremely violent episodes from adults with Downs or other developmental disabilities. They have no idea of their strength or size and it can be very dangerous. One PSW friend was in the ER with broken bones and a miscarriage after a client’s episode.

Also, being a parent to a severely disabled child is not something everyone can do. Although it can happen anytime to anyone. But many are not equipped emotionally, physically or financially to do it. Abuse and neglect sadly happens.

An while I feel it is wrong to abort because of a minor issue, when it comes to the larger ones that have huge impacts on quality of life…I feel that the parents are only ones who can make that decision. What one person can handle is very different than what another one can. In the situations where one parent wants to terminate and other wants to go ahead…those are just so hard.

[katherinebass]

I am an aunt raising my niece 💕 I felt that one.

[TechSupportCantDoAnything]

Can't believe that some children can act like this! I would love to study the brain behaviour of these children to understand their situation.
Note: I am not a doctor in any way, I just have an interest in this stuff!

[sunnykitten]

I have ODD and have been dealing with it. It hurts me in jobs because if I have someone telling me to do something it makes me want to refuse and makes me angry. I am in therapy and psychiatry

[lightdreamer_]

I was fucking diagnosed with ODD and ADHD as a kid. Like, they slapped a diagnosis, some calming pills and there we go. My mom thought I looked sad on the pills...
Turns out it's ADD and autism. Got the right diagnosis only at 18