Truth Teller Vs. Narcissist

Truth Tellers are often involved in narcissistic relationships and get very frustrated if they cannot expose the harm that is being done to them or to others. But is telling the truth always good. Yes...to healthy people, but not to a maladaptive narcissist. This will help you understand how to tell the truth in a way that does less harm and more good. More peaceful and less destruction.

[nathanosterhaus]

Yep, I'm a truth teller and I definitely paid the price for it. Learned the hard way. My own family ganged up on me and took me down. They couldn't stand that I'm a one man army and shine so bright. I got locked as well. We battled in court and I lost legally, but really, I became even stronger than all of them put together. I have now cut them out of my life completely. Better late than never. Cheers to brighter days! Thank you for this video!

[Dptransomu]

I had to go no contact because I didn't realize that "not telling the truth" was an option - especially when telling the truth simply got me branded as a liar. So, I would tell the truth harder. It was an awful vicious cycle that went on for decades. I finally broke. I had to back away and scream at the sky for a few years. Now I want nothing to do with my mother. Backing away simply caused the smear campaigns to increase. My relationship with my siblings is now extremely distant. I'm so angry at the injustice of it all and I really struggle to move beyond the ruminating. Things will improve for a little while, and then a new "flying monkey" appears out of nowhere to ask how I could be so cruel to my own mother. (sigh) Thank you for the video. It was helpful!

[AwakenedOne-qu]

I have seen so many narcissist in upper management and law enforcement that I assume everyone is a narcissist.

[RubensteinRNerisma]

The distinction between reacting in wisdom rather than fear or anxiety was extremely enlightening and confirming. thank you so much!

[johnkennedy]

Definition of Irish diplomacy ;
To tell a man to go to Hell
in such a way that he will look forward to the trip..

Dublin, Ireland

[audreydugan]

Nice to hear - thanks. Truth telling has a consequence - a backlash - sometimes bad, sometimes terrible but always a backlash.

[grantaugustyniak]

I find when dealing with Narcs - know what type a narcs your dealing 1st. Then apply the appropriate way to tell them the truth. Sometimes it’s strong boundaries, being bluntly direct, follow through with your truth. This is very, very effective. This really works with most narc types because they can literally see the boundaries you put in place & your truth clearer by following through. It’s like dealing with an child. Also know when to hold and when to fold .

[reneejames]

I will never support abuse! Imma open my mouth!

[sarajohn]

So true!!!! I totally agree. The wisest thing is to not confront the narcissist or narcissistic family with the truth. Because you’re threatening to disrupt their facade of perfection. You’ll be on the receiving end of their rage. Best thing is leave them be and distance yourself emotionally. Become fully independent of your own life and have solid boundaries.Narcissistic individuals are destructive forces. Never try to reason or speak truth.

[kristinmeyer]

I learned this before I ran away to college. My therapist also encouraged me to be more selective with what I said and to pick my battles. This is why my mother recruited a former acquaintance of mine to spy on me under pretext, so that she could have me analyzed by one of her flying monkeys. They put me in the gang stalking psychological torture program. Most of my "life experience" has been in being someone else's toy. I never hated anyone until after being interned deliberately in hell. I deserved to live my healthiest life, not to be taken down by criminals for the sake of blood money.

[JeanneMarieViviani]

I am always so impressed with your work Mary! The clarity of what is a narcissist and how to engage with them (or not). I prefer to remove myself from those situations and people

[jadeoshaunessy]

This woman is soo confused
Like the rest of us we learn about narcissm

[bonnielewis]

This was terrible to hear. MARY, I don't think you get that HONESTY and TRUTH is "our purpose" for many of us and worth the consequences. Learning to deal with the consequences is part of of our "path" and GROWTH. Once I get stronger than the fear of consequences I GET MY LIFE. This message is about how to "react" or "be at the effect of" the narcissist. I would like to to think about coming from the place of the TRUTHTELLER knowing she/he can be herself OUTLOUD and deal with it.

[lisahagan]

I did not know this. This turns my thought process right on its head. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. It is so important and you deliver it in a way that doesn't make me feel dumb.

[SWS]

This is spot on. Everything you said is true from my experience. Thank you!

[mr.awesomeausten]

These are reasonable things that truth-tellers tend to be clueless about

[DHW]

_"Salt and pepper with a little bit of kindness."_

Mom deeply resented that I was born, the daily reminder of her personal failure, the regret for marrying Dad who failed to be a perfect father to her illegitimate daughter who she enshrined, enabled, enmeshed, etc. By default, my mere presence spoke the truth to her about herself. So, no matter what I did, what I said, how great were my successes, Mom reliably misconstrued it to make me look bad, and to bring supply for herself.

At 46, I walked away after confirming she had never called, never written, never visited since I'd left home at 18 (yet she'd raise moral hell if I didn't call, write, visit, etc.). I simply left it up to her to call, write, visit. What did she do? She ran around seeking supply as the "abandoned mother."

[sirrantsalott]

Being diplomatic with the truth is the only thing I agree with. This is why you do tell the truth AFTER you’ve gotten the local authorities involved. Also the way in which you started the presentation by conveying that telling the truth is a “bad-let me slap your hand” in a judgy way is a complete diminishment for those whom the truth in fact did set them free or for whom the truth might. You cannot speak for everyone based on your anecdotal experience that really only applies to you. This is highly unprofessional and it is enabling abusive behaviour.

[dianaschramer]

Protective, not corrective. Great advice.

[pinkazure]

Thank you. I found this video to be really helpful.