my spiritual journey

TRIGGER WARNING:
This video discusses sexuality and religious trauma. If that is a trigger point for you, please do not watch this video.

Hello my angels!
Today's video was very highly requested from all of you, and it's a type of video I have never made before. This is by far the most vulnerable I have ever been on this channel, and I felt called to share this part of my life with you all.

This video is broken into 4 chapters:
Early Childhood & Indoctrination
Purity Culture and the damage it created
My journey to witchcraft
Book Recommendations

I hope you can sit through this video start to finish, and hear my story, and perhaps gain something from it.

DISCLAIMER:
This video is not meant to offend any person or organization, every word is simply my experience and truth, and you do not have to agree, but I do expect basic respect towards me, my story, and my subscribers. Any hate comment will be deleted, only love on this channel is allowed.

I love you all, and am always appreciative of your support. :)

Subscribe! xoxo

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[neirlax]

'purity culture is a thief of female sexuality' that really hit strong on me

[PorcelainRabbit]

what you said about witchcraft embraces femininity really hit me. i feel like witches always get such a bad reputation just because we are women and women have always been looked down on. meanwhile wizards (although not being the exact same as a witch i think?) are looked up to and are known for their wisdom

just looking at a google result and i found this for ex:
Witch: A witch is a woman who is believed to have evil and magical powers and who practices sorcery.
Wizard: Wizard is a man who is supposed to have magical powers.

[nesahurtado]

so excited as a girly who is also trying to evolve spiritually. u give me so much inspiration to grow my own magic bb! <3

[poneharmony]

so beautiful and highly inspirational to listen to as a girl who’s raised in a christian household :)

[bonitasblues]

as a christian teenager, im so sorry you had to go through that. sometimes many churches are stuck with such old and wrong traditions and that’s so wrong. the thing is that most of these things are not even true and not even based on the bible and Jesus’s teachings. christianity is a relationship with Jesus, not a religion. it’s really inspiring and cool to see how far youve come! i’ll be praying for you and ur journey, sending sm love 🫶🏻

[girlvlog-skfe]

I was born in an Islamic family and islamic country. I'm drawn into witchcraft, and I recently realized I should trust my intuition with out knowingit'spart of the craft .I'm still scared to talk about it or begin doing it, but deep down, I just know this is my way , I have no idea what to do

[Chenihal]

As a girl of a muslim family I can relate on every level possible. Especially growing up purity had been the “hot- taboo -topic” for my family. Guilt and shame were and still partly are a big part in my life. I’m glad you could overcome your inner fears and go through with filming and uploading this video, as I know it is very hard to talk about. I’m wishing you all the best, light, love🙏🏻

[madshopewatson]

karissa, i appreciate your honesty and strength that you had to obtain to make this video. never let anyone invalidate your feelings and your spiritual journey. this video will help make a lot of people feel more seen in their journey too. keep your head up high. after all, we’re all just here to learn and grow.

[actdancesingagstudio]

Hey beautiful. You deeply resonate with me. I did not grow up Christian in my family but I did grow up in the Bible Belt. I was the “town slut” and have been over sexualized since I was a teenager. I am also a witch who began their journey with building fairy houses. You are lovely & I so am so enjoying your content 💓💓

[strawberrii]

this gives me comfort as an ex-christian that I am where I need to be and im safe on this journey thank you so so much Karissa <3

[mssainttropez]

you are truly so divine, beautiful, and strong. it’s often overlooked how much trauma the church can create for young children. I hope you have a blessed day and thank you for sharing ♡

[melinadesh]

I wanna share my own journey Karissa. Firstly, thank you so much for this video. I am a 19 years old girl who lives in Turkey. I have very strict Muslim parents. Thankfully even though our ideas are not aligned, we all had a good relationship. But my parents always expected me to act in a certain way. They never ever let me wear the things I wanted to wear. When I was in middle school, I used to change my clothes in wherever I could find. Sometimes I would get caught. Either my parents would come to my school to visit me and see my inappropriate(!) clothes or they would see some pictures that we took with my friends where I wore clothes they did not let me to wear. We would fight a lot after these, sometimes they would beat me for that. They never made any problem about the things that normal parents do such as low grades. They would only care about those kind of things. I remember one time when I was 12 and my dad was dropping me to school at 6 am in the morning and he called me a whore because I wore a different color of pants than he wanted me to wear :) He never even apologized. When I finished middle school, my family sent me to a boarding quran course. After 3 months of staying there I came back to home and my family said that I had to wear a hijab. That was something that I was always afraid of because my family always threatened me about it. When I started high school, I decided that I was not a Muslim anymore (took me long enough:d) I was an atheist for 2 years and I started to get really curious about the universe. Meanwhile, I would get out of the house at 6 am with a hijab, took it off when I am in the staircases and go to school and after the school I would again wear my hijab in the staircases and go home. One day I was late to school, I quickly got ready and rushed to my bus, I removed my hijab again. Little did I know that my mom was watching me from the balcony:) They did not send me school for 2 weeks and I had exams in those weeks but they still did not let me. I passed that grade with a very low score. They caught me a lot after that. Each time we fought a lot but I never stopped doing it. Whenever they caught me they would always get my phone away from me so I would just sit in my room all day long. One day my mom came to my room and said "do whatever you want" That's exactly what I did. I did not wear hijab anymore. Then pandemic hit and I started to get really curious about spirituality. And I found something called Spiritual Satanism. I loved it at first sight. It is not like an evil act or anything. It was a lot different than the Satanism I knew. (Could you imagine being Satanist in a Muslim household :D) After some time, I realized that it was not for me due to some of their ideas. And my mom caught me again:d She was super super angry with me but they did not do anything. I was so connected with myself, I always meditated and I was in a good state when it came to spirituality. But after my mom caught me I got scared to continue because I was getting ready for university exam and I was afraid of them not letting me go to university. So I stopped everything that is related to spirituality. I now have more freedom since I got into my dream university and I live in a different city most of the time. I've been trying to get back into my spirituality but I just could not do that. Because spirituality in my mind is connected to Spiritual Satanism and I don't want to practice Satanism anymore. But this video made me realize the things I appreciated in spirituality (festivals, nature, meditation, spells, moon rituals) are all connected to witchcraft, not to satanism. From this day on, I will practice witchcraft. I feel so relieved and so happy right now. Thank you so much for the inspiration, I've been struggling so much about this, you made everything crystal clear🧚‍♀💖🪄

[yuhyuh]

Omg, I got goosebumps watching this. Especially when you said your “girlhood was tainted by thinking about your own death and a promise you could never keep”. This really hit home for me as I grew up in a super strict anglican christian church, and now I have gotten into spirituality. you seem to have created such a beautiful life for yourself and I hope that one day I can do the same 💕💕your channel means so much to me, sending you love

[goddessvibes]

As someone who's family was on the extreme side of evangelical Christianity, and has severe religious trauma and purtily culture issues, I identified with this video. Thank you for your bravery in making this video. It's inspiring.💖 The phrase "no wonder I have anxiety" really hit home.

[matt-igxc]

religious trauma is not in my background, however a chronic (often) terminal illness is. i've been diagnosed since birth, and your phrase "the very early stages of my life were spent preparing for my death" is such a horrifyingly relatable thing to hear. there's such a specific kind of under-the-surface mourning that comes with it that can't really be truly processed until later in life. growing up being aggressively aware of your own mortality too early like that does something to you. it takes strength to share a pain like this, or a story so personal; it really shows the effort and the work it takes to build yourself up again. thank you for sharing, and i hope things only get better for you (:

[DeityDemon]

I cannot WAIT to watch this video from you, as someone with my own religious trauma and forging and finding my way to witchcraft and my own spirituality. While I don't know the exact contents of the video yet, I just want to say I'm sorry for whatever you've been through and thank you for opening up about something so personal!

[LexieJ]

I really really understand you. I started questioning my beliefs I’m 17 rn I started questioning my beliefs early on I’d say about 10 years old. My family are strict Christians but luckily my mom has stopped forcing me to go to church after going since I was 2 years old after a lot of persuading. There’s so much I could say but after loosing my granny and dealing with chronic fatigue and bpd I healed my body with my subconscious mind. There’s so much more I could say but spirituality has changed my life and I am now able to see auras and meditate often. You are so inspiring to me ❤

[xchitl]

im so glad you mentioned this, im no longer a Christian and went through the same thing where i was so scared of dying at a young age, im a lesbian and am just now coming into myself as i have for years pushed these “urges” down, its sad that im still dealing with it, and sometimes have fears that maybe i need to be a christian. also as you mentioned misogyny is very much present in christianity, so many rules pushed on women but not the same for men, it’s so irritating because it makes women in the church think they are less than and that a man should always be in power

[anaolvera]

I didn’t have to go through religious trauma, but I could definitely relate to shame in loving/intimate relationships, thank you for making this beautiful heartfelt video, I loved it so much:’) <3 (And thank you for the wonderful book recommendations!!)

[dollfollow]

The fact that you filmed in the church near my university...it really hit home how i am deeply going through the same realization of how i was traumatized by the church and my family