Best Historical Weapon VS Zombie Hordes (Might Surprise You)

What would be the most practical choice to defend yourself against shambling undead hordes in the apocalypse? Believe it or not, I *don't* think it's a spear, for a few reasons. Nor a longsword either. Yeah... try to recover from that shock. :p

So let's look at the pros and cons of a few melee weapons that come to mind for this particular fantasy scenario.

The maker of the Goedendag:

Videos I'm referring to:

Can a Rapier Go Through a Head? - Also: Halberd!

The Most Brutal Melee Weapon I've Tested so far (Igorot Headhunting Axe)

The Most Vicious Axe vs. Zombie Head

Don't Mess with Axes

Devastating Spear-Sword! - The Spit by Zombie Tools

Longsword, Rondel dagger, Mace vs. ZGB Ivan head

*** Music credits ***

"Mystical Theme" by Alexandr Zhelanov
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license (CC BY 3.0)

"Ghoulish Fun" by Eric Matyas
CC BY 3.0

Outro:
"Highland Storm" by The Slanted Room Records
Used with artist's permission

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*** Social media ***

[pokemon]

When Skall said, "the real world, " I got so scared I almost left the video. Then I realized I wouldn't know how to protect myself so I stayed.

[LDSG_A_Team]

The real reason Clerics in D&D always seem to use maces is because they are the ideal weapon to use against zombies and skeletons.

[jeffgoode]

Love how Skallagrim always accounts for realistic exhaustion, and how it affects weapon use.

[Mae_Dastardly]

Winter is the most effective weapon against zombies, heavy clothes are damn near biteproof and the cold makes it easy to travel in them without heat being an issue. Plus undead type zombies don't produce bodyheat so they'd freeze over in the cold, potentially destroying their brains from ice crystals forming, and even if that doesn't happen they'd still be immobilized meaning they'd be easy to clear out in preparation of spring

[ericmitchell]

When you talked about using the axe as a sort-of walking stick, my mind immediately went to shepherd's axes, which are designed as walking sticks that can be used as tools and makeshift weapons.

[ooklamoc]

When the zombies finally come and we discover they keep going even after a head shot it’s going to be really disappointing for a lot of people.

[Andrew-zqip]

The main issue I see with a shield is that zombies don't launch strikes to be blocked, they grab at things. Your shield would be grabbed and you'd need to either kill them quickly or give up the shield. Woe to thee if it was fastened to your arm and you became immobilized.

[promcheg]

The best I've seen so far was in a book series, starting with "No Easy Hope". One of the protagonists uses a fork made from a tree branch and a rapier. Using a fork to keep the zombies at a distance and stabbing with a rapier through the eye. Very economical.

[mythguard]

I kinda feel like the messer is probably one of most universally effective swords in history

[TheScience]

I guess the real best historical weapons for zombies were the friends we made along the way

[balkmindobro]

Something most people do not consider is the fact that with a bladed weapon, you're a lot more likely to infect yourself. All it takes is a little knick from a blade that has not been cleaned and you're infected. I'd rather use blunt so that the chance of self infection (or just self inflicted wounds overall) is reduced.

[whitesupremepizza]

A pollaxe would be quite handy.

Or, a “Walking Tall” stick made out of hickory is about as good of a brain basher as it gets for zombie apocalypse purposes.

[crazzanthictlabbar]

Palladium Books (a dice & paper RPG company) made a game called Dead Rising. There was a big section which weighed the pros and cons of various weapons and vehicles in a Zapocalypse, much like you did.
They also concluded that a blunt trauma weapon was ideal, because you can keep swinging - no getting lodged in a skull or ribcage, minimal maintenance. If you have an edged weapon (axe, sword, knife), the best idea might be to focus on destroying limbs to render the zombies less effective so you can escape when outnumbered. Sever tendons and split limbs at the joint, and take away the Z's mobility and/or attack options.
For a vehicle, one of the best choices was a bicycle - very quiet, small enough to fit more places, and portable in a pinch (in case you run into a roadblock of abandoned cars), and requires no gas. Its only drawback is cargo capacity. An off-road capable truck (for cargo & distance) with a bicycle in the back (for quiet raids) is the ideal mix.

[giggityguy]

A kukri would be a great pickup for a sidearm. It's already intended to do double duty as both a tool and a weapon, so you don't have to double up. It's quite sturdy, good for chopping, and the forward curve could help you keep your arms a little farther from zombie mouths.

[Nachtmahr]

My Experience from several Zombie-LARP-Events:
The loadout you mentioned might be optimal for someone fighting alone, with no backup.
As soon, as you travel and fight in a group (even if its only 3 people), tactics change drastically, becaause:
A Riot Shield is absolutely OP against Zombies! If you have a doorway to defend and your shield bearer is heavy enough and knows what hes doing, you can hold that position forever.
When fighting in the open, the advantage is not as great as in buildings, but still enormous.

[RabblesTheBinx]

I feel like all of these options miss one crucial detail: you don't want the zombies to get within melee distance, in the first place. Especially if the disease can be spread through other bodily fluids, like blood, as is the case in most zombie media. Ranged weaponry and traps are the way to go.

[hede_the_call]

A pet peeve of mine in ZA films and shows is how rarely (never) squad tactics are used.
Riot shields and boar spears, (or just pitchforks) supported by axes and clubs.
You're not going to kill of a horde of hundreds, but you'll quickly eliminate roving bands. You'd also be able to hold fortifications against that horde of hundreds and eventually destroy them.

[SkumyPete]

This was very useful to me because I am writing a story with a character that fights zombies with historical weapons! Just watching today I realized I've been watching you for well over 6 years and I've learned so much from this channel.

[ggcpres]

I think skall undersold the usefulness of a hatchet. You can use it for all sorts of Bushcraft stuff, it can do the same job as utility knife in a lot of situations, it has a little bit of utility for getting into rooms and breaching areas, and it's also far easier to make a sheep for us than a sword. All you really need is a loop and maybe something to put over is a blade. It's also not uncommon for hatchets to have some sort of hammer type thing on the back, or for you to just be able to flip them the other way and use them to drive nails and such.

[MarkovChains]

War hammer seems pretty ideal to me. It's lightweight, easy to use, has good reach, no maintenance, easy to repair, and is basically designed to do brain damage.

I'd say you should have 2, though, or a sidearm, because you don't want to be weaponless if the wooden haft breaks at a bad time and you haven't had time yet to replace it. Or you could get one with a metal haft, in which case it'd be virtually indestructible