Therapist Reacts to Couples' Thoughts on Cheating

Licensed marriage and family therapist Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile, LMFT @StephAnya reacts to Jubilee's video "Do All Couples Feel the Same About Cheating". Are dating apps still on in a relationship?

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[ms.tinygiant]

Cheating is truly the highest form of not respecting your partner. I’m surprised how many were okay with it. If someone cheats on you they don’t respect you and why would you want to stay with someone who had every opportunity to just leave the relationship??

[shesgotthatsomething]

As a person who was previously in a relationship where one party wanted kids and the other didn’t, watching that couple talk about being engaged but not being on the same page of wanting children was a huge red flag for me. My partner and I tried to make it work, but we both eventually came to the realization that we both wanted different things for our futures and that it's no one's fault; we just weren't compatible. So I also hope that the couple has more conversations and get to the same page before getting married. ❤

[TriforceWolf]

I really like how you phrased "not functioning as we had hoped" about the first couples' fertility struggles, opposed to saying "not functuoning how it should, those words in general can be qpplied to a lot, like body image, career paths, mental health, I feel like your phrasing is a little less self shaming and encourages more positivity, and changes.

[eccentricHellion]

As someone who is adopted, it always confused me that people wouldnt stay together because of infertility. It almost offends me tbh. Theres so many kids that need a parent, i dont get why having a biological kid is placed at such a high importance.

[torikami]

When they talked about infidelity, I’ve had that conversation with my husband before and I would have strongly disagreed (meaning I would leave him) just because it is so out of his character that it would make me doubt everything I know about him. I can’t picture a world where he could do that to me and if he did than he isn’t the person Im in love with.

[User-yuer]

Cheating is way too accessible and normalized now. Kind of a side topic, but most people at my university have cheated and it's insane how many of their friends refuse to call them out on it, instead being a "yes" man, further encouraging their cheating, meanwhile it's usually those friends that claim they condemn cheating... the cognitive dissonance is unreal.

If you don't press your friend about their cheating, you're co-signing on it. You may not think it's your place or may not want to "snitch" but imagine if someone knew you were being cheated on. You'd want to know the truth.

[sj]

I’m surprised at how many of them were “okay” with cheating, although everyone has different opinions on what cheating is and are very much entitled to those opinions I’m relatively surprised at how normalize it is now and how not many people see it as a dealbreaker these days.

[StephAnya]

Hey, everyone👋🏽 Reading your comments and loving the self-reflections!! Thanks @healthline for having me!

[jessicacadeau]

The therapists voice and movements are so soft and smooth. Very soothing to watch which helped me pay attention.

[hazelreys]

10:55 I really love how she said “body not functioning the way they hoped that it would” and not “the way that it should.”

[Unknown-usfc]

I need more of Stephanie reacting! She’s a very insightful therapist

[jessicacadeau]

IMO, the term soulmates is a name for completely connecting & being in sync with someone, thus establishing your soulmate. It's not pre-existing. When you come together, you just click. You've found your person that fits with you, you're now soulmates.

[Hm-ekve]

I’ve been going through a breakup and a lot of your videos have really helped me gain a new perspective on a lot of aspects of relationships. I really appreciate all of the valuable information that comes from videos that are highly entertaining at the same time! Thank you so much for talking about these subjects, I think I’ve grown as a person because of it.

[kyleecarmony]

As someone studying to be a therapist, I really love your videos. I appreciate having the opportunity to listen to your insight and learn from you!

[thelatashajames]

married and childfree if anyone is curious lol

[JMO]

My boyfriend and I spoke about my possible inability to have children. We both want kids but he knows it would possibly hurt my health mentally, physically, etc. to have a child. We had that difficult conversation and decided if we couldn’t then there’s always adoption, puppers, or childless. He wouldn’t risk me for someone he doesn’t know as he puts it lol

[Lmay]

I.e. kids… no child wants to be born based on you “giving in.”

[magda_pie]

I feel like a party not wanting kids and the other partying wanting kids will come up in the future as a negative manifestation, whether it's resentment, anger, lack of interest, I feel like this a *huge* thing to disagree on, and if they get married, and it's all good, I call bullshit a little bit because you can't hide what you want

[Kaali.]

Hi Stephanie :) I appreciate how you approached the topic of soulmates so respectfully. You emphasized that they all shared a common approach, explaining soulmates by detailing what they value about their partner. That applies to either stance. Personally, I consider factors like environment, the amount of effort you put forth to understand and respect your partner, or even proper timing in your life, highly significant in determining the success of a relationship. The neutral approach you took really sets you aside from those who solely focus on scientific backing, making your level of understanding towards people pretty apparent. Thanks for sharing your insight!

[vaelmage]

I broke up with the only person I have ever loved because I considered online relationships a form a cheating. She disagreed. Honestly has been a struggle ever since especially since I'm demisexual. Takes me months to even want to ask someone out and now finding it harder than ever to get to that point with someone again. Sometimes even nightmares will prevent me from actually sleeping.