How to Avoid the ADHD Tax: Holiday Edition

What is the ADHD tax? Find out here!
For more about not absolutely destroying your budget, check out
Thanks to Rick Webster for helping out with these tips!

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How to Avoid the ADHD Tax: Holiday Edition

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[johntheissler]

I find that when I don't exactly have money to spend on gifts, I sometimes offer a service in place of spending money on someone. For example, Instead of spending what I would when working on my parents this Christmas, I am offering to help them paint the house. Some people like the offer of spending time over money for gifts. Cheers to all!

[ALu-nqrf]

I don't always watch an ad all the way through, but when I do it's for my YouTuber faves.

[anneloes]

I get my note taking app, and whenever friends mention stuff they like or want I jot it down. So I have a list named "Jess" and it has her favorite wine on there, a game she wants but can't afford and her favorite type or flowers. When shopping time comes I just check it and work from there.

I also set a digital reminder first of November that repeats each year with "figure out for who to get gifts and what for Xmas". I start planning there, and there's ample time to order stuff. Alternatively, I buy items throughout the year I know will fit people and gift them when appropriate. (this is actually hard for me, because I want the instant gratification of giving it right away :/)
I also have a reminder for remembering (to make and) write Christmas cards and who to send them to.

I also heard the tip of slowly collecting cool generic gifts throughout the year you can give to most people and stash those away. I did that once, and then, when I inevitably forgot to get something when getting in the car for Christmas dinner I can grabbed a nice wine bottle to take. Good other ideas for those are cool or funny books (wrapped, with a cryptic description on the outside), socks with fun prints, some good wine that was on sale that one time, cute little board or card games (like Star Realms, Hanabi, Pocket Hive, Love Letter or Pickomino, the latter two being available in a tiny tin edition), nice soaps... I'm slowly setting reminders when I'm "lucid" and padding myself for falls when I'm drifting off. Hope this helped anyone.

I'm somewhat lucky that I don't have a lot of people around me celebrating Christmas with gifts. I only got stressed about my secret Santa. €15 limit and I never even met the guy who I had to buy stuff for! One way ticket to stress city, I tell you.

[ConnieIsMijnNaam]

OMG If I would get all of my ADHD tax back I would be very very rich! Thank you for this video. BTW I am totally watching this while procrastinating cooking for christmas diner. I will pay some ADHD tax in an hour when I will be stressed out. But I will remind myself it is all about connections and my loved ones will be understanding. (They almost always are!)

[acmulhern]

I don’t have a credit card, only a debit card. That way i can never spend more than what i have (any day of the year).
My flaw is that i buy people gifts in advance, hide them and forget about them. Then I buy new ones and end up spending way more because I’m buying the same thing twice.

[aNytmare]

Receiving gifts mostly makes me feel guilty, so I talk to my friends and family beforehand if it is okay to not exchange gifts for adults... so only the kids get gifts! It solves so many problems (if you don't enjoy gifts in the first place)

[secondbanana]

These are the type of videos that make me appreciate this channel the most. It's so so comforting to hear "yeah, that happens and it sucks" instead of just "do the really hard thing like a normal person already!" I appreciate you and all that you do for us brains.

[JuMixBoox]

I had the opposite problem this year. It's the first time I'm responsible for my own money because I moved out and always scared to even spend one dollar. I went shopping for over two hours for gifts for my family and had looked at about twenty items in five different stores. When I arrived home I realised I had always put back the items because they weren't perfect and only really bought two tiny things for two family members. I didn't spend too much money, but it wasn't worth obsessing over for that amount of time. I just baked cookies now and labelled them for them, but I am still worried and irritable, which causes me to also say things I don't mean and additionally destroy the Christmas mood. I hope they'll like the cookies though, my mom assured me it was fine.

[arielhatch]

Library fees are my ADHD tax. I have spent literally hundreds of dollars because of returning things late over the past 5 years. The worst!

[hopespirit]

Can you talk about eating disorders even though it doesn’t have to much to do with ADHD cause I’m dealing with under eating and I’m having trouble remembering to eat and taking the time out of my day to find something to eat

[SiraSpirit]

I love you for talking openly about the mistakes you make (despite maybe feeling like you should "know better") as an ADHD brain. It makes me feel so much more okay about the mistakes I make, and somehow it makes progress seem more achievable. After all, just because we're learning something doesn't mean we're going to be perfect after only a little bit of practice.

[BaranovPeter]

I often spend way more money than I should and it totally doesn't help that my brain keeps tricking me with fallacies like "You spent so much already, what's another $100?" Or the classic "Just one more and that's it"

[MrRookitty]

I haven't spent a lot of money (since I don't really have any), but I'm feeling guilting that I'm rushing to make gifts and I haven't made one for all of my family members. It feels awful to be an adult and not be able to give a present to the people that deserve one. I'm always messing up time management!

[titusx]

I can completely relate to the impulse buying, especially if its for someone I care about. I see something and Im like "Ooo! my wife would like this!" And so I just get it. In the past couple years I have started making a budget marker for how much I plan on spending on each person during the holidays and most times I end up going over that by a little bit. But by having the budget marker there I can usually draw a line and be like "Ok after this gift thats it! no more!"
I work a desk job and I definitely know how easy it is to slip up and forget to pay a bill, or forget something is coming up that causes my account to overdraft or something. So what I personally started doing to help keep track is use the desktop "sticky notes" app to make a check list of all my bills that need to be paid and the date they need to be paid by. And at the end of each month I erase all the checks and start over.
Also using the alarm clock app to set reminders is a VERY useful tool. I have a bad habit of hyper focusing on my work and forgetting to stretch or even blink some days, and so I have an alarm reminder to get up and stretch and walk around each day so I dont forget. Just thought I would point out a few things I personally do to help with my ADHD during the holidays and work. Thank you for the content you create! Youre great and I love watching your stuff. It definitely helps people realize theyre not alone in the world and that other people deal with this stuff too. Have a wonderful holidays and I hope all is well!

[journeytowellness]

Wow! You described me perfectly! I’m always rushing at the last minute to buy gifts, then either buy more expensive things so it doesn’t suck, or a bunch of things so they feel showered with gifts. Neither of which I can really afford. I’ve never been good at budgeting and I’m glad to know I’m not alone in this.

[Jack-xjjj]

Just wanted to thank you for doing this. I’ve been watching your channel since college and it’s helped me to be more efficient and more importantly, feel like I’m not losing my mind. Feel “normal” because I’m not the only one. You nail so many things about ADHD that most people just brush off as symptoms of laziness or carelessness. It just feels nice knowing that it isn’t entirely my fault when I fuck up, even when I’m trying as hard as I can not to.

[stephb]

Jessica, I found you and Dave Ramsey about the same time 1 1/2 years ago and you both changed my life!
Dave has been helping people get out of debt for >25years .. his plan is simple, focused, and perfect for Brains ♡

[ahrisah]

This is too real! I way bought a ton of stuff for my little niece and nephew and I’m hoping it won’t be too awkward. Really good info to apply for the future! Also, I think another example of the adhd tax is losing/forgetting things and having to replace them. Amazing video!

[berlineczka]

In my closest family (4 ppl, including me, my sister, my mom and my grandma) we always buy presents together. This gets us more money to spend (so everyone gets one but bigger present) and we have three brains for each present to come up with ideas. It's always the same amount of money (about 30$ per person, so we have ~90$ for each present) so it's also easier for budgeting.

[journeyofawesome]

I paid it a little differently this year. I actually managed to get the bulk done with time to spare without forgetting any bills (I hope) So over the weekend I found myself wandering around the store. We'll long story short I dropped around $50 more on "little" things for gifts. Side note. Something I find helps get that special gift. Throughout the year if I see things that remind me of someone I'll grab it then.foe birthday or holiday. That way the sentiment is right. Of course, fighting the urge not to give it to them right away, or remembering where I stored it when the time comes, are there own challenges.