Dealing with ADHD and Impulsivity

Being impulsive is something everyone can understand, but those of us with ADHD can have our impulsivity out of our control. So what can we do to help us in dealing with our ADHD and impulsivity?

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[HowtoADHD]

Thank you Sunsama for sponsoring this episode making my impulsivity a little easier ;)

[samanthawycoff]

"Think before you act" is the absolute least helpful advice I got as a kid when I would get angry and say things that I'd later regret. I'd lash out before I even had a chance to register that I was feeling angry, which made me feel like I had no control over my anger and anxious about it happening again. I'm only now starting to learn how to manage my anger and impulsivity with the help of a therapist, but I wish I'd learned these skills a lot sooner.

[xxcapxr]

Very happy I have found your channel. It was suggested at 13 I had adhd and. My mom refused to accept or put me on meds. Well after 19 years and going through drug addiction, and getting clean I’m finally being tested. This channel really help and I am so grateful I found you and this channel.

[Evermorecurious]

Impulsivity was and is one of my biggest struggles with ADHD. One issue I’ve run into especially when it comes to responding to others is harnessing the balance between not having an immediate reaction and completely avoiding the situation. For the last few years I’ve become trapped in the cycle of avoidance because I didn’t want to react in the moment.

[hupin]

I definitely prefer the text option when I need to get my thoughts out of my head in a heated moment. My wife has realised this when I get paralysed by anxiety and stop being able to talk. She asks if I'd like to continue over text and it helps me continue as, like you said, it allows me to get it out then look at it and make sure I'm getting my point across properly rather than force it out with speaking and forget the correct words or get jumbled etc.

[amypeggs]

I loooove the concept of the pre-made decision about decisions you know often end badly. I learned about this idea/concept in Dana K White's cleaning podcasts/book and it has revolutionised the way I do things. I used to think "I need to clean, but where to start?" and that would overwhelm me and I'd impulsively do something else. Now I think "Where do I start? Dishes. Dishes is where I start." I'm not overwhelmed and I can go. And even if there are no dishes to be done it somehow kicks me into the right gear to continue anyway, instead of deciding to start with an overwhelming and non-urgent task like cleaning out the inside of a large cupboard nobody looks into.

[wordhappyHazel]

"If I can't make a choice in the moment, I can make it for myself ahead of time." Jess, I LOVE this - thank you! 💜💜💜

[hella.more.than.strange]

*Hi! I just wanted to thank You from the bottom of my heart for everything You're putting out to the internet. Yesterday I FINALLY got my diagnosis. It was a big struggle - in Poland where I'm from ADHD "isn't a woman thing". So I felt like an outcast and just less of a human for my whole life... Finally I understand. I understand my brain struggles and it doesn't make me less than other people. Thank You, for giving me the support I need, thanks to You and this community I don't feel alone. I love You all, thank You once again!*

[sandradelaney]

My neuro typical husband overheard your video, and said that he recognized that same impulsively in me. He knows what a problem it is, but didn’t value how substantial the struggle is. Thank you for being there for those of us who haven’t yet developed the strategies to be more successful in setting and achieving reasonable goals! Love you and your channel, dear.

[ericderami]

Jessica....I am now 43 years old, long story short to say I have been struggling my whole life would be an understatement. I recently asked my doctor about ADHD, saw a Neurologist a few days ago and was told to see a Psychiatrist. In recent days I have been watching more videos from people with ADHD and fully convinced I have it. I just saw your TEDx video...I have never seen or heard anyone so precisely describe how my life has been!
I don't even know what to say....If I could I would give you a big sobby, Bob from Fight Club, emotional hug!....now I am watching your videos here.... I literally feel like someone just lifted the weight of the world off my back. Thank You!

[danielanderson]

Growing up I always found it interesting when people told me that I was impulsive and that I should stop and think before I act. I always responded with: " Impulsivity is defined as acting before thinking. Therefore how can I stop and think if I am acting without thinking? If I was able to stop and think I wouldn't be impulsive now would I? "

[Guywiththetypewriter]

Stand by you saved my life.

I was 25 and had an Aspergers Syndrome Diagnosis and a Low-Self Esteem as the only two gifts I'd received from my mom and the NHS.

Without your videos, I would of never even questioned it.

Turns out, they were wrong.

Aspergers was a misdiagnosis, I always had ADHD (Never had the social issues that come with A.S other than foot in mouth).

2 years later I'm a medicated, confident 27 year old guy who, yes is still recovering from 20+ years of misdiagnosis trauma and a bit of exestensial dread.... but I am doing 100x better.

And that in large part is due to you!

So thank you.... you helped me realise I wasn't alone :')

[angel-]

Hi Impulsive, I'm Dad.
In all honesty I've been diagnosed with adhd recently, and this channel has been nothing but a blessing so far.
Just wanted to say thanks a bunch!

[bashbunny]

I just love how every time you say something on your channel, my mind is like, "thank god, I'm not alone". Thank you for existing and keep up the good work Jessica

[Breakthrough]

My impulsiveness has gotten me fired from jobs. I don't always make the best decisions and I hate that. It can depress me if I think about it too much. This video helped me see that I'm not alone. Thanks.

[KillerCat]

Just did my first course drop in college. Fell behind because my meds stopped working, but now I'm so relieved that I don't have to grind (or think about catching up while doing nothing lol) for a class that I don't need. Just got a new prescription today! Thank you so much for teaching us to not be ashamed about our differences. Sometimes we have to stand our ground and be our own advocate, and I'm so grateful for this channel giving me a way to learn about myself and others like us.

[InternetRando]

My now ex-wife HATED that I wouldn’t just respond in the moment during an argument. But I was *terrified* that I would impulsively say the first negative thought to come out so I would just avoid responding. And she thought I was rude. I learned to try to wait and process… and be positive and self-effacing.

However, I also learned not to make or hold boundaries, and to simply assume that I was always wrong or at fault. I have many faults, real ones, but feared allowing my emotions to show because I might speak ONLY my emotions and not the truth.

It’s not about learning to pause, so much as committing to letting stimuli pass by without attachment. This seems to be the core of most mindfulness practices I’ve encountered. They seem to help strengthen the parts of the prefrontal cortex that *let* you have those pauses more naturally.

It’s easier to lean into that, though, when you are in a situation to trust that you are safe and loved. Practice in your safe spaces. Find safe spaces. Make them if you must.

[alfictabla]

Ouch this hits the spot. I was diagnosed inattentive but when I look at how often I interrupt people, blurt things out, respond impulsively, buy things instantly, react instead of thinking, feel terribly offended at something that wasn't offensive... yeah, these are often the things that have hindered my life and relationships far more than inattentiveness.

[charlotteperry]

I have ADHD and my older sister has markers for it too. I find that our impulsivity comes out in different ways. Hers is very much tied to emotions and words, and can often be very hurtful. It's frustrating for my family sometimes, especially because I've worked very hard and masked a lot over the years to control what I say before I say it. But then I remember that my impulsivity comes out in other ways which can also be very hard, like the fact that I feel the need to immediately retreat and isolate out of the blue for days on end. Or that I get countless impulsive ideas and plans for the day that almost never happen, which can be leave me disappointed with myself. Trying to find a way to relate to people's struggles, especially when they manifest differently, or just in a way they can deal with, has allowed me to have a better relationship with my family and myself.

[giovanichavez]

My girlfriend Nataly and I just found your channel yesterday and I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the help you spread with your videos. I was never educated on ADHD, Nataly has ADHD but I never truly understood what It was or how it affected her. We've been together for 4 years and yesterday I couldn't stop crying in private because of all the times I thought or said it was because she wasn't trying hard enough. With that said I just finished watching your TED Talk and you're truly an inspiration to anyone with or without ADHD, God bless you and those around you. Thank you once again.