Father's Rights in Child Custody: 3 Steps For Success

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However, unless you take the time to learn the basic custody laws for your state and follow certain steps, no attorney can help you. Most courts use the "best interest of the child" rule to determine custody and time-sharing.

Here are 3 Steps to follow before appearing in custody court.

1 Identify what you are going to change now that you and the parent are not together. For example, if you have traveled a lot for work when you were married to your spouse. And you have not been able to spend time with the mother or child, you need to present to the judge how you are going to modify your travel schedule so you are there for your children.

As any judge or expert will tell you, when children go through the transition when their parents are splitting up, they need consistency and stability. During your custody trial, you need to convince the judge that you will be able to provide that consistency and stability even though in the past the other parent has been the one who has picked up the lion’s share of the responsibilities.

So if you need to get a letter from your supervisor or a commitment that he or she will come to court to testify that you will have the flexibility then you need to do this. You have to present to the court how you are going to change things in the future.

2. Since you have never been the primary caretaker or you are a new father you can invest in some parenting classes to show the judge that you want to get the skills you need to give the kids the best care that they need. This may not be necessary if you have been a father for a long time, you may not need parenting classes. If you are a new Dad or have a newborn, this is persuasive evidence to show the court that you are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best father for your children.

3. Once you show the judge you are going to get the training you need and make adjustments to your life for the best interests of your children, you need to start walking the walk immediately, even before the case starts, or when your marriage is already falling apart and you are contemplating divorce, you need to do what you need to do right away.

Start asking the mother for more time with your children and you need to get on a consistent schedule that is best for them and not what’s best for your schedule or for the other parent’s schedule. You also should document when you ask the other parent for more time. You can use texts or email as evidence in court if you are asking the kids for the weekend or want to take them on vacation and the other parent is turning you down, by all means, save those texts and emails.

Start gathering your proof to show this to the judge. If your custody case goes on for a year, you need to start spending as much time with your children as possible. Start doing it immediately. Ask for more time with the children, start showing up at those parent/teacher conferences, going to the soccer practices, start picking up and dropping off your children to school or start getting involved with the pediatrician.

☎️You may Contact Wendy Hernandez at 602-230-2333 or visit

💼Wendy Hernandez is a family law attorney in Phoenix, AZ and founder of Command the Courtroom which teaches you how to handle yourself in court and achieve the best outcome when representing yourself in your divorce or child custody case.

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*This video recording is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as the rendering of legal advice. The viewing of this recording does not create an attorney-client relationship. An attorney-client relationship is only formed when you have signed an engagement agreement. We cannot guarantee results. Past results do not guarantee future results. Consult with a licensed attorney for information regarding the specifics of your case.

#fathersrights #fathersrightsmovement #childcustody

[willchacon]

Thanks from a Dad....who loves his son.

[boldanalyticalvoyager]

It's Sad that one would need to prove to a Judge to then give you permission to be a father and spend time with your own children.And if you don't cower to the judge and beg and plea he can easily take your father's rights away just based on what the judge feels with no real evidence of bad fatherhood or an exaggeration of a few mistakes done by the father if any.

[jeremycoburn]

This video gives me a lot of hope. I've been seperate from my sons mother for almost 6 years, and am always being told what to do by my son's mother, or threatened with child support if I disagree with anything she says. I have my son majority of the time, 4 to 5 days a week. or at the VERY least, 50% of each week, and yet she makes decisions, and I have no choice but to just accept it and feel angry about it because "She's the mother and there's nothing you can do about it." I am planning on filing for joint custody because I want to be in my son's life free of the ever lingering burdon of her just deciding to spontaneously take him away, or her just deciding to keep him forever or just let me see him on the weekends. I love my son, and my home is not complete when he isn't around.

[JC-yvii]

I will never get married because of this video.

[frankcastle]

It's simple, create equal parenting, eliminate child support under false pretenses and have follow up court dates. I'm for equality not here on biased agenda, nor sexist, just equal.

[maxstreetracer]

I'm going to court for full custody tomorrow i pay for everything that my son needs

[robertdiminuco]

In many situations such as mine, the child is with the mother all the time because the mother is simply alienating the father from his child, and if you make an effort to see the child, you have to deal with the abuse from that parent. This also goes for some fathers who are alienating the mother as well. I have been alienated since the child's birth 16 years ago. And it is not getting better. That ATM CARD that gives the mother access to my money is the big problem. I have no leverage

[dannyodayinhawaiinei]

Doesn't this go for a mother aswell? The reason why a mother is able to be a mother is because of what the father did on his part. It takes two to raise a child. Now that a mother is single and now a single parent what can she bring to the table? You just said we both shared the responsibility so now she is alone how can she play a fathers roll or provide what the father had provided? A healthy child must have both a father and a mother in their life. There fast to ask the father what can he do, This should also go for the mother aswell. A father is no less than the mother. A father loves his children just a much as a mother and will do anything for their children.

[firsttwin]

In other videos you claim fathers have the same chance of getting parental rights as mothers. In this video you admit fathers have to prove and convince the judge that they are good parents if they want more time with their kids. When was the last time a mother had to prove she could support the family in order to get custody? Fathers do not have the same rights as mothers. You should be more honest about men's chances of getting custody.

[joser]

I understand your point.
Although what happen when the ex moved 100 miles away from there home town with the children
I must say it’s quite difficult to hold a great relationship being so far away. Thanks

[bakhshishsingh]

Thank you for sharing equality and helping to make children's lives better in unfortunate times.

[happytime]

what makes a woman a natural parent ? why does a dad have to do so many things to prove when a woman doesn't? Sounds like your saying the woman doesn't work at all.

[michaeldodds]

I'm a single father going through a middle of a child custody battle with my wife that left the state to Tennessee from Arizona this video helps thank you

[jerseyltd]

im going through this now. your videos bring me so much hope!

[mikewhitney]

You don't have to prove the best interest of the child to the state. In fact it's the states burden to prove a parent unfit using strict scrutiny due process guidelines and that parent is under no obligation to help them. Unless the state does this then they have no rights or jurisdiction to preside over anything at all much less making decisions of a childs best interest over a fit parent. - People need to realize that the entire family law industry is a sham and not even fit for purpose. Learn the real law and assert your rights without compromise no matter what the family law judges & lawyers tell you about state jurisdiction in civil courts of equity. It's all a scam.

[robertdiminuco]

The custody hearing is as much of a dog and pony show as the child support hearing where the lawyers refer to the hearing officer as Judge and Your Honor. The child I pay an on going ransom for was alienated from me for the first 5 years of his life before I was served to go to court, I was sending money to the child's mother, but she wanted to get it in writing that she had full custody, so the clerks told her that she needed to prove DNA, so after 2 and half years of total alienation, I received a phone call from the mother, she asked me if I wanted to visit Nick, I said I sure, I then asked, "does Nick have a bike?" she said no, I said, "don't say anything to Nick, I will surprise him with a new bike". After visiting with Nick for about 30 minutes, Court Process Server Steven Collins corners me in the mother's townhouse, threatens me with being arrested if I don't appear in court. I appear in court with a lawyer;  Mike Schmitt walks me right into a Title IV-D contract. Then Law Guardian Ella Van Loon suggest that I start out with 6 chaperoned visits, which was not necessary, this was to create an illusion that I was unfit, no evidence, no trial, just her bull-sh-t recommendations. Then she recommends 6 hours on Saturday and says Deanne is willing to let you see Nick for 2 hours on Christmas. And in six months I could have sleep overs with the child.  No holidays were written in this piece of garbage court order. And the language states, "if agreeable by both parties"  I was right back to being alienated. Fighting this in these kangaroo courts is not going to get me far. I filed a Petition in 2016 regarding the alienation, the first thing the referee wanted to do was appoint a law guardian; it is the law guardian who staged this for me to lose. I just did not bother with it. My entire case is a joke.

[ourquirkyconversations]

I suffered my whole life when my mom lost that custody battle, i love my dad he does nothing wrong, but I can bear life with no dad, but with no mom, i'm stuck, I loved her so much kids should get to testify in the custody battles.

[luissolano]

My baby mom won't allow my kids to receive gift from me, she wants money only? I feel that wrong I should be able to give my kids Christmas presents instead of giving her money, how should I go about that

[starblazer]

My problem is that my sons mother moved very frequently and it was nearly impossible to locate her and my son. She became addicted to meth and her mother (my sons grandmother) took custody but no one notified me. My sons mother ultimately died last year and I thought I would get custody but now Im in a legal battle for him. I live 420 miles away in another state. The court seems to want to drag the case out and it is expensive not mention cost of traveling and time from work. I feel Ive been given an unfair hand.

[craigzilla]

Thanks for sharing your insight. It's much appreciated. I just left an abusive relationship about 2 months ago and filed for divorce. I foolishly cancelled it after she begged me to and we pursued couples counseling. Nothing has improved and the fighting continues so im ready to refile. My wife is a stay at home mom, and we have a 3 year old (together) and a 9 yr old son (hers prior to us meeting). My goal is to get equal custody over both of them, both physical and legal. My lawyer had said that even though I'm not the biological father of my stepson, that the courts should rule in his best interest and Grant me rights. I'm the only father he has ever had and have been in his life since he was 4. My wife loves to threaten that I'll never get to see him, and only get visitation for our daughter. She also threatens that I'll be paying her lawyer fees as well. How likely is any of this? Do I have a chance in getting equal custody over both kids? Will I have to pay her legal fees? I am staying at my parents because I can't afford paying her bills plus rent of my own.. will I have to prove abuse to get what I feel that I deserve? I just don't know how bad this is going to get. I'm dealing with someone with a lot of cluster B personality traits here.. I've done everything with my kids. When I wasn't working, I was spending time with them- every evening and every weekend for the past 2 years I'd go straight home and care for the kids while she sat in a different room on her computer and phone while drinking beer. I helped with the homework, ate with them, played, took our son to every sports practice and school event by myself, and tucked them both in at night by myself. Besides caring for our toddler during the day, I feel that ive carried the bulk of the load the past few years.
I appreciate any advice here. Do I have a chance ? Is it better to settle out of court or let a judge decide our fate? I know the second I claim abuse, she'll cry it back.. thanks. Also, Im not wealthy, so crazy legal fees are going to be a problem.