body standards confusion as a nonbinary person

tbh i'm burned out on youtube and being in school for 18 years of my life...how do y'all feel about seasons?

FOLLOW ME:
Instagram/TikTok/Twitter: @irisolympia

Sometimes I have to remind myself that it's okay to just like stand and talk for a video lmao.

Music:
Things from the audio library!

✨Equipment ✨
Camera: Canon G7x Mark II & Canon T7i (w/ kit lens)
Microphone: Zoom H1 Handy
Editing Software: Final Cut Pro X
Recording Software: Logic Pro X
Thumbnail Software: Photoshop

ABOUT ME:
Age: 21
I'm queer!! hehe

tags bc why not: #nonbinary, #lgbtq, #enby, advice, coming out, body standards, beauty standards, gender, gender dysphoria, pride, pride month

7.2.2022-40364

[lb]

I’m intrigued to see the video. I have to say as a woman, I don’t think that women want the “ ideal female body” either. I feel like a lot of that comes for the patriarchy and what men find desirable vs what women actually want is to just like their natural body as it is.

[Ari_Wil]

I am a mid-size afab nonbinary person who likes to dress/present androgynous to masculine. I have fairly big boobs but they do compress okay in a GC2B binder. I have NEVER related to the "ideal female body type" and knew I didn't want boobs since before they started to develop. My fashion and gender icons are like Timothee Chalamet and Troye Sivan...

[Cseni_K]

I'm embarassed to admit, but for the longest time I confused gender dysphoria with wanting the ideal body type. I didn't feel comfortable in my body and how others perceive me and I thought it's because I'm flat and built like a rectangle, so I started to wear push up bras and did tons of butt excersises but it just made me feel even more uncomfortable. Finally I realized I'm nonbinary but it took sooo long lol

[reay]

i really relate to this! the andro beauty standard really sucks tbh and it plays a big role in my eating disorder to be honest like knowing that i feel less dysphoria the thinner i am makes recovery really really difficult. its definitely something i hope can change in society and within myself to view androgyny in a wider way instead of just ‘skinny white guy in a skirt’

[crownedoll]

I’m also non binary but have a “perfect hourglass” body. I’m 5’5 and my female friends would constantly tease me for being short. I’m honestly so jealous of your body type and height. I know gender identity has nothing to do with what my body looks like but I just wish I was more androgynous :(

[irisolympia]

tbh i'm burned out on youtube and being in school for 18 years of my life...how do y'all feel about youtube seasons?

[oliviaann]

I feel this. I'm not sure if I'm non binary, but I am afab and bi, and there is also an added layer of confusion when it comes to sexuality. For a long time I thought I was a lesbian, but then I realized that most of my problem with men comes from the way they see me (as a women). Not from the particular way that they look or whatever. anyways I wish... i were not perceived at all. peace and love!

[dilloncleiren]

As a amab nonbinary person, what Iris is taking about around the five minute mark. It is true that someone who’s born male and dresses more feminine does stick out more, i’ve always looked it it the other way, that its easier for afab people to pass as androgynous or even as a guy. Because it more normalised. So it’s really interesting to hear a different side on the subject.

[serenediipity]

i grew up the exact same way and didn't realize i was nonbinary until last december (i'm currently 20). i was confused why my mom was disappointed that i ended up being flat chested and the idea of having wide hips made me uncomfortable (thank god i'm shaped like a rectangle lol). since i'm black i feel like i'm more expected to have that curvy figure and it's just never been an aspiration in my mind. for the longest time i thought i was just body neutral, turns out it was a gender thing.

[ellie]

thank you for this!! I'm nonbinary/transmasc and have always had curves and like hips and thighs and hated it as a kid and didn't really get it and just wanted to be "skinny" even though it was really just the curves and the androgynous ideal (tldr: this video was super interesting and relatable and beauty standards are confusing) anyway, thanks <3333

[kellypdontmesswithme]

I'm an amab non binary that naturally looks very masculine. It's very interesting to hear you speak on what the ideal androgynous body type is. Skinny and white for sure, but I've always felt afab people have a more clear lane to presenting non binary. If I want to look androgynous I HAVE to wear a dress or something hyper feminine because I just look like a man if I wear a shirt or pants, which sucks because shirts and pants are about as androgynous as it gets.
All of this to say that being non binary in a binary world will always feel out of place or imperfect, but knowing there are other people out there like me is enough for today. I love you, I'm now a subscriber. And to all other non B's, I love you too.

[raccoon_anarchy]

I’m transmasculine and queer and have a VERY curvy body which sucks cause it means I’ve not only been sexualized constantly by men but also that both cis men and women have been telling me for the longest time that I should be grateful for having the “ideal body” that men are attracted to. I honestly think that’s one of the reasons I stayed in the closet as a trans person for so long cause I never felt comfortable in a body I’m “supposed to be grateful for” and it took me even longer to admit to myself that I AM attracted to men, but can’t stand being seen as a woman by them. I think confidence can be hard for me because I still have parts of myself that I love even before top surgery and hrt but it’s hard not to feel guilty afterwards since everyone around me seems to have an opinion (whether negative or positive) on my body and what I look like, so why can’t I??

[medkip]

i'm agender and i've felt...weird at best about my body for as long as i can remember, but it def got worse when i started developing curves. i have an hourglass figure, and i've gotten comments and "compliments" about it from other people since i was probably 11 (i'm 23 now). i feel a weird sense of guilt because of it--i know that my body is considered "ideal" to so many people, but i've *never* wanted to look like this. i remember a kid in middle school told me i had "birthing hips" and i wanted to vomit.

i'm currently trying to get a breast reduction bc my chest is so large that i can't find a binder that actually works (plus i've dealt with neck/shoulder/back pain for over a decade but yeah). i think i feel similarly to you in that i don't aspire to certain body standards because they don't feel attainable/applicable; for example, i know i have curves regardless of how thin i am (and my weight fluctuates a lot anyway), so i don't really want to be thinner. hell, i'm scared i'll still be dysphoric even if/when i get a breast reduction because it's not like i can bind my hips.

on one hand i wish i were taller, less curvy, more androgynous, etc. but on the other hand, i hate that the standard of "androgyny" for afab people is seemingly restricted to looking/presenting masc, or being "perfectly in between" masc and femme (whatever that means); even if that's generally what i want for myself, i don't want to perpetuate the idea that nb ppl have to be masc, y'know? plus i still wanna wear skirts and dresses sometimes--i just don't want to be perceived as a woman for doing so😭

[internalflows]

This reminded me that when my boobs started to grow I hated it. I didn't want them, and I didn't want men to look at them either. Interesting, the things you find when you open some doors.
Thank you for this, this video appeared in a very specific time when I truly needed it <3

[CN-ugqt]

Hey :) im a cis queer and totally related to this! Not stating that nb's relating to it more or more intensely is not valid.

But i think this also comes from queerness creating their own different beauty standards. In the sense that were not considering the mainstream cis het beauty standard or really having it as an example to strive for.

Its also a pity what you said about afab having more trouble being seen as gender non conforming. For example painting nails is an act of defiance for amabs but considered the basic package for afab. And i can totally be read as a normie femme even if im in cargo pants and huge ass sweatshirt, just because i have long ish hair

[overgrownkudzu]

this is so relatable. i tried losing weight but even when i did, i still didn't feel right, despite being unhealthily underweight at the time (ed yay). at some point i realised that my problem wasn't really that i wasn't skinny enough because i clearly was, but because bone structure just doesn't care and i still had wide hips etc.
the realisation was healthy for stopping the ed side of it, but it was also really difficult because that's one of those things you can never change. not even binding does anything about it.

[yurii_plisetsky]

i'm a nonbinary person (questioning being trans) and i've never ever had trouble with how my body looks because i was able to hide it under baggy clothing or at least i thought i was but one of my parents told that i would never be able to pass as a "gender less" person because of my body shape. as i said i never cared that my body wasn't "masculine" i've always had big hips but i've never been insecure about having them untill now

[hatsirigarcia]

Growing up, everyone would always point out the fact that I was flat chested and it never really bothered me much, then all of a sudden puberty hit and I found that certain clothes brought attention to my chest in a way I never felt comfortable in. With being Hispanic, everyone often told me that I would "fill in" my body, and when I was younger it was one of my main insecurities, but as I grew up I started liking it less and less

[lilsthethrills]

I really feel this. As an afab person who is still in the questioning faze of my gender (but pretty sure I’m non binary) I’ve realized the main reason for this is because I don’t want to meet the body standards of women and when everyone was going through puberty people embraced having a chest while I tried to hide mine and make myself more androgynous. I’m glad it isn’t only me that feels this

[PhantomSaysHi]

I'm always so confused by how to feel about my body. I was "blessed" with the iconic hourglass shape and tall, the "ideal female figure". But I'm not a woman. So it's a constant battle of trying to cover and minimize this very dramatic gendered shape 90% of the time in order to be perceived at all like myself, but then on the days I do rarely feel more feminine presenting it's like "oh, I guess this is ok?". I just really wish we could stop perceiving bodies as gendered things and just treat people as people, but here we are.