Stop Family Secrets Within You

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[shirleysiegrist]

We have lots of family secrets. Most are perpetuated by my 89 yr old mom. I am the scapegoat and my younger brother is the golden child. My dad has passed. I chose not to confront a narcissist and a golden child on anything, in any way especially at my mothers age. I know my truth and honor it as best I can with limited contact. Someday I may choose to tell my son and granddaughter. In the meantime I don’t perpetuate or participate in the covert narcissistic patterns and behaviors. They live in a totally insane world where they are perfect and right all the time.

[laraoneal]

I refused to accept the secrets and disowned my entire family. Its been over 15 years and i finally have complete peace. I was called a liar had no support also. I am the scapegoat in my family. I’m proud of it and refuse to participate in their abuse and lies because it affects my nieces and nephews. My family is evil period. I am a fierce child protector so this is totally unacceptable. I tried everything and I’m done.

[wordswordswords.]

I am laughing and crying in recognition. It's such a relief to find someone who gets it and is explaining how to fix it. Hope and relief. Truly, Jerry is a godsend.

[thesefoolishthings]

I will NEVER have anything to do with my so called family, ever again. I am the Escapegoat! I was tortured emotionally by those cowardly bullies, evil scumbags-I had NO support at all, all through my childhood and teens and as an adult. They choose to ignore the truth of what happened to me as a scapegoat as it makes it easier for THEM. Parents(?) I don't have 'Parents'. Two Narcs who should never have had children. No Contact is the best thing I have ever done.

[raeganreynolds]

My favorite person on YouTube. I love how you preach staying calm & agreeing to disagree

[LR-yumx]

Lovely the birds' songs in the background.
Yes, Jerry, I agree. There is no possibility to make the siblings9 6:06 accept the real facts of the matter. I just keep a low contact with them. And try my best to heal from the abuse myself. I have turned all my trust into God since the agony of childhood, so it has a very positive outcome in my life.

[robinpunneo]

I am a work in progress. I've been on both ends of verbal abuse. I'm glad I now have a deeper understanding of my self. I still have moments of weakness when I become reactive. It happens less and less. The greatest gift I can give the world is the work I am doing to heal and mature my self.

[balgrantango]

I love that you do these videos outside. It's so nice to see the trees and the sky and hear the birds. The content is really helpful too, of course, but being outside is so refreshing...especially when the climate here is so cold and grey. Thank you for bringing a little sunshine to the day...in more ways than one.

[onlyonce]

Have just watched this twice. I needed to hear this advice today. Thank you!

[yourpetyourway]

"Don't tell the family at Thanksgiving Dinner that Uncle Bob molested cousin Sally. Pick a better time for that conversation!" LOL that made me laugh my head off!!!!

[laraoneal]

We are as sick as our secrets. I have NONE. I exposed my family secrets thus getting rid of all of it. I thank God everyday that i totally disconnected from them. REJECTION IS GODS PROTECTION.

[freedomspromise]

I have been using gray rock for my alcoholic mother and recovering alcoholic husband. It is my only choice to keep from snapping. When I started not reacting, separating myself, seeking internal peace, my stress level/anxiety dropped drastically. When I changed my reaction to their BS, I began to have flashes of memories of childhood abuse. I already remembered a lot as my mother was extremely abusive. Remembering other times of abuse make me very angry. Marriage to a man-child for 32 years of drunken buffoonery before he got sober has been a nightmare. He has been sober for 3 years but the bad times are still fresh in my head

[pearlyq]

EXCELLENT! I love it!! Skirt-lifting, that says it all -- all the shame etc. Brilliant video.

[catielove]

Apprwciating Jerry's comments about working through my own psycho-emotional reactions and issues around the family secrets before sharing with other family members. Jerry's podcasts are doing quite a lot for my recovery processes.

[sunrise]

Thank u so much for making a video on this topic! This is a huge issue in familial narcissism and an opportunity for their triangulating interpersonal family member relationship.!

[danielletirpkoff]

That is a very pretty backdrop that you chose for this video, with the beautiful blue skies! And the birds are singing sweetly in the trees!! It looks so peaceful and serene!!!

[antjestr]

Its hard to stay calm and nice if youve been abused by your narc parents and talked about behind your back your whole life & and everyone just basically just watched. I feel inside like they all can just kiss my ... . Im getting stronger now and start to speak about it/confronted parents and grandparents first, everyone in the family turns away from me...maaan why god why. I want a good family also....28 yo now hope I get to have a family on my own someday ...but first I need to heal from it all </3

[SusanaXpeaceu]

''allow others to maintain their denial if they choose''. Wow. This is not easy. I get what you're saying though. It is the path to being less reactionary.

[boomerangsruckflug]

Oh Jerry, you do not know MY family... A normal conversation like you show was never possible. When we kids confronted our parents about that they hit us and how hard that's been for us they either freaked out or said, we have been "such bad kids" that we've forced them to hit us "once in a while" (actually it was each day!) or they denied that fact completely. So we gave up talking about it, since it was senseless. I had my therapies and learned to create my own happy live and I'm "friendly" to my parents but there's no more telling about deeper things or feelings in my life. I keep it just superficial and have contact as less as possible to keep my peace.