What should I DO with my LIFE?: why you can't think it out

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I've worked with hundreds of young men, many of whom are paralyzed with the prospect of answering the titular question: "what should I do with my life?" This is obviously an important inquiry; however, most have never been taught how to go about arriving at an answer. This often means that they will spend months -- if not years -- thinking through a solution through a process I can "chessing." Unfortunately, this effort is entirely wasted, as the only way to answer this question is by taking action in the world.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #men #life

[psychacks]

I've worked with hundreds of young men, many of whom are paralyzed with the prospect of answering the titular question: "what should I do with my life?" This is obviously an important inquiry; however, most have never been taught how to go about arriving at an answer. This often means that they will spend months -- if not years -- thinking through a solution through a process I can "chessing." Unfortunately, this effort is entirely wasted, as the only way to answer this question is by taking action in the world.

Book a paid consultation:

Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #men #life

[pmaitrasm]

For men, some common objectives should be: (1) to improve health, (2) to maximize wealth, (3) to develop new skills. *Avoid Paralysis through Analysis.*

[artawhirler]

Excellent video! I am now 67 years old, and all of this is absolutely true. I wish someone had told me this when I was 18 or 20 or 25, but instead I had to find it all out for myself. The most important thing is, don't ask what you should do with your life. That's the wrong question. Instead, ask what you should do with TODAY. Remember, a "happy life" is nothing but a long series of happy days. Good luck, young men!

[iacangelofinancialgroup]

I didn’t find a career until I was 35 and a wife till I was 42. Neither were conventional choices. Trust your instincts, ignore naysayers, grab every opportunity and learn from the best.

[sivuyilejonas]

This video came at the perfect time. I’m in the middle of fighting a crippling porn addiction and general laziness and came to the realisation that consuming motivational videos isn’t cutting it. I was in search of a deep meaning to my existence and this video really helped clarify a lot of things.

Thanks Dr. Taraban

[marriagecausesdivorce]

The psychology of thinking versus doing. Some even say 1 hour of doing is better than 10 hours of thinking. I think of it like a feedback loop. Action > Review > Improve > Action. In business I think this is called the "fail fast" principle.

[WinglessRain]

What I'm doing with my life:
-reclaiming and healing my body after 6 years of neglect.
-relearning social skills at the age of 38. I wouldn't wish this on my mortal enemies.
-relearning how to take care of myself.
-relearning how to do things people take for granted (cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, sleeping, saying 'hi' to the cashier.)
-quitting my vices and so called copes (videogames, alcohol, adult entertainment, junk food, caffeine, prescription pills I've been on for 20+ years, etc.)
-waiting for social services in my country to do their part, and supply me with support groups where I can be my broken self, and engage in some damaged social interaction.

While I'm waiting, I'm working out, changed my diet, and spend the days overcoming my traumas through introspection.
My goal is to hit 85kg before spring, then book hostels in various cities in my country. Crash course in learning how the modern person here works and communicates.
Once I'm past this goal, I'm going to book tickets to various EU countries, and mingle with the locals, while getting a well needed change of scenery.

[Well-Put]

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

[tomclancy]

Hi Orion--I have applied exactly what you are teaching on this video but I have phrased it a bit differently. I learned when I was 19 years old (I am now 71) to figure out what pisses me off the most and then DON'T DO IT. I taught this rule to all 5 of my sons and all 5 have diligently applied it and all 5 are doing very well in their lives. All of the women in our lives have screamed FOLLOW YOUR HEART. My response is ABSOLUTELY DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR HEART. Stay away from what pisses you off the most and you will end up exactly where you should be.

[mosca]

Don Antonio Machado says this beautifully: “Caminante no hay camino, se hace camino al andar” which translates as “Walker, there is no path, the path is made as you walk”

[jacksquat]

A smart man learns from his mistakes, whereas a wise man learns from the mistakes of others. I don't need to experience everything to find out who I am and what I stand for. I'd rather look before I leap, and consider my steps, than to throw caution to the wind. That said, I believe in living life to the fullest and being the best I can be.

[achessjourney]

As a chessplayer and chess coach myself I loved the chess analogy. Not only it's true, but also works quite well. I would have loved to hear this video in my twenties or teens.

[Unchained_Skid]

There are very few times in your life where you will have freedom of action. Mostly you will be constrained by necessity and/or obligation. But when true freedom arrives, most people will give it away, because it is far more comforting to blame failure on circumstance than on yourself. Freedom means the possibility of failure. That's what makes success so meaningful. It also means that success is not the point; using your freedom to act as you see fit is the point.

Thank you for your work Dr. Taraban.

[DZB]

I have found what’s worked for me is put myself into as many interactions with strangers and humanly possible. I am 27 now and I have a career and network I didn’t even think about in my early 20’s. I have also taken every job and trip that has come my way. It can be scary but I’ve never regretted introducing myself to someone

[hydraulics]

Career wise: I knew at age 5 what i was going to do. In college, I decided teaching was the most rewarding aspect of my vocation. So I took every job that would help me get my prof's job. They all retired. Now I'm looking at retirement from the college in a few years. I don't want to though. Hopefully some students are thinking like I did. Been a great gig, helping thousands of people get amazing jobs.

[nvmcrider]

I heard a similar analogy to the chess one used here. Sit on your bike in the middle of the street and turn the handlebars, nothing happens until you start peddling. Just start peddling and once your moving you can go in any direction you choose, take a wrong turn, turn around and go someplace else. Nothing happens until you are in motion.

[goldilocks]

As a 57 year old I found this helpful 😊

[MickyAvStickyHands]

We fixed this problem long ago with the patriarchy. The young mans' job was to take care of the family as the dad got old. The dad even passed resources down to help get you started. Your job/life responsibility was given to you (forced on you in a way) and it provided enormous self worth and guidance in your other life decisions by extension without you even needing to waste time looking for it. If you didn't like this, then you had the option to study other ideas and trade, but this required internal motivation. If you're sitting in your room pondering, you most likely don't have this self motivated personality type (which is fine, even natural) and you would be much more productive with a job delegated to you which brings us full circle to the patriarchy. This new system of every man for himself at 18 years old is not optimal to everyone and it shows. And its destruction by western ideals is shame. It's also why Immigrant families out perform other having not been tainted by the post modernist theories.

[captainreza]

Agree 100%. “Just do it!”
“Doing”, moving and maintaining the state of flow will prevent most of the psychological symptoms people complain about while “sitting”!

[evguenikretchetov]

I would add constant learning, finding people who are ahead of you and who you respect and admire to learn from and improve on their work. Buffett said that he learned more in ten minutes by the feet of his teacher (Benjamin Graham) than in ten years of "so called independent thinking".