If Your Ex Is An Avoidant

Are you trying to understand what it means if your ex is an avoidant and how it affects your chances of getting back together?

In this video, Coach Lee explains what it means when your ex has an avoidant attachment style, how it impacts their behavior after a breakup, and what you can do if you want to reconnect.

Learn why avoidant exes often pull away when things get intense and how to navigate this dynamic without pushing them further away.

Coach Lee shares key insights to help you manage your expectations, recognize their need for space, and take the right steps to rebuild a connection without triggering their defense mechanisms.

If you're serious about giving your relationship another chance, this video will help you understand your avoidant ex better and plan your approach effectively.

[philipramsden]

Whether they're an avoidant or not, going no contact and leaving them alone to process their feelings and emotions is the best play. I learned to completely detach from the outcome. Avoidance is anxiety and it shows in different ways. Remove yourself and let their anxiety get the best of them.

[curtisharms]

My ex and I met up last night had a nice talk after no contact for a month. When we were both looking at eachother I leaned in and kissed her. We fell asleep in each other's arms last night. We're going to take it easy going forward

[earlgrey]

These people are like crack. Highly exciting, but will destroy your life. Just walk away and never look back.

[WVCakeBoss]

It’s so hard when you pour your whole heart into somebody and they ghost you to avoid a difficult conversation. Then they stonewall you for days or weeks and pop back up as if nothing happened.

[oscarbruhn]

She broke up with me in august 2023. Last we had contact was
28 october 2023. 4 months months ago she unblocked me on ig, watched my stories, but then stopped.
Anyways 1 yeah of no contact tomorrow, and im proud of myself, cause i really loved her and wouldn’t let her go without a fight.
But its fine now i guess.
Havent watched you the last couple months, cause there is nothing left to do, but
your amazing videos have helped me more than you know, ive watched every single one 10 times throughout the last year. Oh captain my captain, thank you.

[ralphie]

Let them feel the energy change! They will feel it and be drawn to you. It works! Just pull your energy away and focus on you.

[Jvega]

She’s total avoidant, it’s been almost 5 months still haven’t heard from them, they blocked me. It didn’t end that well tbh and I can’t seem to move on and still think about her all the time. I’ve done everything in my will to stay away and work on myself but I’m still here missing her :/

[Leaveitalone]

Went 2 months and caved. Went 2 months again and caved again. Been 1 month now and I’ve learned my lesson. He makes me sick

[aerosmith]

My ex gf broke up with me out of nowhere after a 7 and a half year relationship by leaving a note on the kitchen table. She emailed me in May asking for money. When I said no, she blocked me on FB and I haven't heard from her since. I went NC as well since that time. I don't want her back. It's gone too far as I'm concerned, and I think it's best if we both went our separate ways. I deserve better, and there are a lot of women out there that would appreciate a man that's loyal and has a lot of love to give. Thanks for your vids Coach!

[jenrn]

I called and texted and feel so ashamed. I really love him 😢my anxiety is taking control of my life.

[KD-hybi]

This sounds so difficult. Do this, don’t do that. I just want to be me.

[dandee]

I know NC is hard, but think of it this way. They may be wanting us to change but they won't tell us. The only way for a 50/50 chance is back off. You either find out if they want you or they don't. I am finally on day 4 of NC. I am trying to focus on myself and make a change whether it's if she comes back or for someone in the future that wants to be with me.

[MatthewSaville]

This was MASSIVELY helpful! I'm anxious, ex is avoidant. Lived together 3 years, past 1 year we drifted apart. (I'm very guilty of shutting down emotionally too!) She officially broke up with me 2 months ago, but we still live together, and do "family" activities together with their kid. I am focusing on my independence, avoiding being the analyzer, and just letting her be as free as she needs to be. Dunno how the dust will settle, but I can only do my best to keep demonstrating what a good, secure man & father figure looks like. If I had a good impression on their lives, that is enough for me.

[debblanton]

Glad the situation is over and done..too bad he doesn't move back home

[Ahicksaf]

after a year of no contact and breadcrumbs from her, we talked to each other due to war happening in my country. We traveled together. We started talking, but she told me that she's sorry but she never thought about me all year, even though she was flirting and she was happy that we're speaking again. I am going no contact again, but now we have business together so it became more complicated. She's 100 % an avoidant

[HaloHuntress]

6 months NC and he has never reached out, never looks at anything on social media, it's like he has completely forgotten that I exist. He has been dating around. The only reason he broke up was because he said he didn't love me anymore. I'm almost certain he's an avoidant with issues with alcoholism and other things. I would still like to know why he left me and why he fell out of love but he has completely destroyed my trust in people that say they love you and I can never see myself trusting him again. Years together feels like a complete waste.

[jpmo]

Coach Lee, per your request, please do more videos which are specific to fearful avoidants. Considering many including my ex girlfriend have unresolved childhood trauma, FA attachment runs rampant almost as much as anxious preoccupied people.

[sweetchinmusic]

Coming onto 6 weeks no contact, she blocked me without me being even able to say anything at all . Been getting alot done in this time focused on the gym and my personal growth . Miss her like crazy but it’s slowly getting easier

[CPASD]

Coach lee, can you make a video on avoidant partner in a long distance relationship/breakup (avoidant partner being the dumper).

[michael_canton]

What’s difficult here is when the avoidant woman provides so little. The pressure is really on the man to keep putting effort in and the amount of effort is not reciprocal. It is exhausting.