15 Rants in Four Minutes

In which Hank is Angry About Stuff, because sometimes you just gotta let it out (and also because, when he asked, Twitter said that they'd prefer him angrily raving than just being funny.)

Rants are a weird thing, I don't think they're particularly healthy, but I do think they're entertaining. The main thing I want to avoid is getting angry at individual people...unless they're endagering others or clearly breaking a social contract (STOP USING YOUR CELL PHONES IN THE MOVIE THEATER!!!)

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[NateWild]

"Good morning John, sorry about your face"

I love being out of context!

[ItsCamille]

I asked my math teacher how you do taxes. The looked me dead in the face and said. "You get an accountant to do it for you."

[hifromthestudio]

My school has a adult world class where they teach you how to do taxes, apply for loans, make savings and other life skills! It's one of the most needed skills in my opinion, yet almost nobody knows about it!

[youratowel]

"If your definition of rant is just complaining about people who happen to be different than you, you're big bag of farts!"
That made me laugh. That was so cute lmao.

[JennieKerfuffle]

Knowing cursive came in handy when I was in class and my Taiwanese classmates asked me if I knew English cursive and I was like "yeah" and they were like "will you write something for us?" and I was like "sure" and I did and they were HELLA impressed. I was basically a star.

[elenaugarte]

Me: hey school how do I pay taxes
School: worry not
School: the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

[ucHorrible]

3rd grade: you will have to use cursive in middle school and high school
9th grade: can you write in print its easier to read

[leigha.b.]

PLEASE READ THIS BECAUSE I HAVE A GOOD IDEA PLEASE CONSIDER MAYBE MAKING THIS WORLD SUCK FIGHTING THING HAPPEN.
So. Crash Course Life. Where they teach you how to do your taxes, and what things like the IRS do and why they are so scary to people and what happens when they audit you, also who is the they that is doing this. How exactly does credit work and what is a credit score? Also what will make you ACTUALLY stand out on a resume? All those life things that its like ok we should be learning this but we haven't so lets go ruin our lives because we don't know what we're doing.

[blackbird]

"i went to school for like 85 years and no one ever taught me how to do my taxes" 
i legitimately spat out my drink just then. ahahahaha

[religiouslyilliterate]

Yes! The bit on majors!
I'm going to school for Religious Studies (which I was stoked upon learning was one of John's majors). I'm really passionate about my major, but, whenever it comes up, copious amounts of crap fall upon me. 
Things such as: "Oh, yeah, because that will get you far." or "Oh, so you're trying to learn how to convert people?" or "I'M AN ATHEIST" or "How is that going to contribute to society in any way?"

And I want to say, "First of all, I'm NOT religious either, you git! Secondly, you can't think of one.fucking.way in which religious understanding would benefit our species!? And third, I'm sorry that you've been indoctrinated into thinking that a corporate ladder of increasing paychecks every year is the only route to stability or happiness in our society. If you were comfortable with your major, you probably wouldn't be spending so much time giving me crap about mine." 

Anyway, that's what I had to DFTBA

[graceemma]

Thanks for sticking up for us Humanities folk. As a first-year English major, I have been constantly mocked for my choice in major by my STEM friends and other random people that don't even know me. Hearing somebody I respect say that my degree is not, in fact, "useless" is something I really needed to hear right now.

[mariam]

I love how both you and your brother make your hair fluffy when being angry hahahahahaha

[OMGItsJousis]

The only time I've ever used cursive is for signatures on official documents (people get mad at me when I print it) and for some stupid-ass reason a standardized test had you copy a paragraph-long non-disclosure agreement IN CURSIVE and there was a collective groan in the room. It took me like 15 minutes cuz I didn't remember how to do capital S and capital T.

[steampunkerella]

"b-b-b-but censorship!" NO. SHUSH

[Claire-tkdo]

I know this video is super old but I'm a relative newbie to the community and I'm enjoying all the old videos and I just want to say I love how you made the first rant a rant about negativity bias making us choose rants 😂 (and honestly that makes it partially a joke, too 😆)

[IamNickMead]

"Hi John, sorry about your face!"

Out of context thats quite a harsh opening to the video...

[thewinterizzy]

I'm going back to school in the fall to pursue a film production degree. Brb, I need to memorize your rant on majors because yes.

My main argument - whenever people ask me what I plan to "do" with a degree like "that" - is: well, have fun coming home from your nine to fine business job and you have no television to watch, no books or magazines or Internet articles to read, or any movies to see on the weekend. Tell me again why storytelling isn't important or useful.

[heychrisfox]

I relate to the news rant on a spiritual level.

[harjashow]

I hate when people get annoyed at people using the word 'literally' to stress their point. language is defined by humans, it doesn't define itself, it's just a random collection of noises we assign meaning to. IT'S SUBJECT TO CHANGE! k I'm done

[irisreyes]

I love that every time I watch your videos I have to stop them at some point just to let all the information be absorbed by my brain, and then I can continue with the next 20 minutes of information that is going to be thrown at me in just two minutes. I just love how fast you guys talk ;)