r/AITA My Coworker Spread Rumors I'm a Pe**

0:00 Intro
0:07 False accusations
3:16 Moving in
5:04 Rich
7:29 Comment
7:42 Contact
12:20 Consequences
15:59 Wedding pictures

[LizzieShiro]

“Claire is a single mother”
I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if she’s paraplegic. You don’t accuse someone of being a groomer!

[Demyxu]

My uncle was accused by a neighbor for being a .pdf. He wasn't, there was no proof or evidence or ANYTHING, and despite lawyering up and having to clear his name, he STILL was regarded as a shady individual and 'couldn't be trusted around children.' Accusations of that shit still fucking LAST, man. It's insane.

[ellafrost]

Ooof- that first story is a yikes. Being accused of is both life and career ruining. Sounds more like an issue for a lawyer than HR.

[adamb]

About 20 years ago I had a friend-of-a-friend accuse me of collecting CP on my computer. At the time I couldn't understand why because A it was untrue, B I hardly even knew the guy so it was entirely unprecedented, and C: there was literally no reason for him to make it up in the first place. It was just so bizarrely out of left-field that nobody took him seriously, and the allegations just evaporated on their own when he stopped making them. Life goes on, I forget about him. Anyway I found out about 5 years back that he's currently in prison for molesting his own daughter multiple times over the course of a decade, even paying for her abortions.
Say it with me people:
Edit: Whoa i just had a dark thought...what if he were using me to test the waters? Throw out a few accusations, see that they go nowhere, makes him feel like it's safe to go ahead and start messing around on his own.... eeesh.

[Rj-ijko]

Story 1: Oh i KNEW the HR rep was gunna be a friend of Claire.
NOBODY is that comfortable spreading rumours to other coworkers without having some level of safety.
Oh Claire is a single mom: then maybe she should have thought about that.
Claire AND the HR rep deserve punishment and Op is NTA

[dominiklis]

Story 5: I HATE when people from good households lecturing the ones from abusive households how they should treat their abusers with respect because "family".

[dracko]

"She then told me Claire is a single mother and relies on this job, and that I shouldn't have embarrassed her on front of the office like that."

So?? So what if she's a single mom? She quite literally tried to ruin OP'S reputation over her stupid gossip. Being accused of being a p*do is not a "small" accusation, it's quite serious. Stand your ground, do not take any BS from Claire or HR. NTA.

[ghanttchart]

Story 5: the mother was probably trying to force the father to reconcile due to a savior complex of her. It was a “look at me, look how great i am, I reunited a family that had broken apart” without considering why said family broke apart.

[Brafie]

"born on 3rd base thinking you hit a triple" that's a great way to put things

[silverflight]

Story 6: I never really understood that. The grandfather abused OP's dad and the dad wants nothing to do with him, and apparently that makes OP's dad the bad guy here? Nope, OP is right, the mom chose the grandfather, now she has to deal with the consequences

[honeybeeheathen]

With story 4, he's definitely absolutely the AH for cheating, but he's not the AH for not caring to rekindle a relationship (at first) 17 years later. That is WAY too long to realistically expect to still hold value in someone's life.

[ElecticalCheetah]

3erd story: liza sounds like someone who’d be angry that the student debt was canceled and thinks people should be shoulder the massive debts they accumulated, what a snobby c

[sleze]

Implying someone is a P-word isn't small. I would have insisted that HR also document that the manager tried to pressure OP to not document the issue.

[hiroshi]

Story 1 : idk bro, this sounds like a lawyer's problem. Straight up over HR. Because visibly they also sound as useful as a bag of horse rubbers.

Story 5 : Thank you OP, for standing up for your dad. What they did is atrocious and a gigantic vioIation of trust. Consequences for all, even for you. You just get that happy meal.

[voutsider]

As a woman... I am sick of the "But... She's a single BS

[Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Story 5: So OP's dad has had the abuse of his father replaced with the abuse of his wife and she's drafted her kids as co-abusers. Disgusting.

[ornotermes]

Story 1: NTA. She didn't embarrass him in front of the entire office, she accused him of really bad things behind his back to the entire office. If she tried to embarrass in front of someone he could defend himself right away, but talking behind someone's back is just trying to poisoning their well.

[GnarlyNewEngland]

My boyfriend was abused by his mom. If she was trying to get anywhere near him I would fight tooth and nail to prevent it.

[DaBaseBallZ]

Story 3:If I was OP, I'd just ignore her and live my life my own way, She's far beyond saving with how much she's been spoiled
People, Don't look down on others just because they have less money than you

[dominickeijzer]

Story 4 seems *really* much more complex than just 'man did bad thing, man bad'. Yes, he *was* the AH in the setup to the story. He had an affair, and his family left him, even when pleading with his daughter to remain in contact. However, for seventeen years, he *did* respect that decision. He didn't try to beg again, he left them to their own devices because that's what they wanted. He doesn't want to reopen old wounds. But guess who comes waltzing back into his life? His daughter, at the behest of his ex-wife, tries to get back into his life. He'd naturally have complete freedom to deny. Even throw her own words back in her face. She's virtually a stranger to him now. He's not the AH for trying to keep contact cut with someone who's basically a stranger.
It gets even *more* complicated when you look at what the daughter's doing. She's been asked to re-establish contact by her mother, which isn't necessarily suspicious even if she's meant to be heartbroken. The daughter took it more personally than the ex, it happens. However, where it gets even *more* suspicious is that she's asking to visit and crash at his place for a few days, especially after he says he's leaving the country and only a couple years after he's gotten a new place to live. Maybe she's between houses right now and is just looking for somewhere to stay, and is taking it easy as she re-adjusts. Still an ulterior motive. Maybe she's trying to speedrun connecting with him, to get something out of it. Maybe she's doing something that her mother wants. But no matter what it is, I do think they're up to something.

Tl;Dr: Story 4 father's an AH for cheating, but wanting to keep contact cut doesn't make him an AH. Especially when things are so suspicious.