Harsh Reality of Transitioning

Transitioning is not easy.

We don't choose to be transgender.

Take your time to think about when is best to come out. Both your physical and mental health should come into consideration when thinking about coming out and/or taking the first steps to your transition.

US National Suicide Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

International List of numbers, emails, and hotlines

The Trevor Project Help Line

Music Credit:

[sackedpotatoes]

I’m not trans, but hearing “you’ll never be cis” was so sad to me. I never thought about it like that. Stay strong my trans friends!

[miacstudy]

'you will never be cisgender' was not ready for that today.

[tartagliussy]

I was so scared this was gonna be one of those “transitioning is mutilating your body and you’ll regret it” videos

[Callist]

As a cis male, who is currently still living under the roof of transphobic household, I was transphobic almost my entire life. It wasn't until I looked around, and truly realized what trans people go though. For those who I may have unknowingly hurt, I am deeply sorry. It hurts to know that people struggle like this, and that I turned a blind eye to the situation for so long. Even though realistically I probably haven't hurt anyone since I have very few people I actually talk to, I really want to say I am sorry. I'm thankful I got this off my chest.

[alexsamuel]

I didn't even want to hear it, because I've always known. I think about it alot but it hurts more every time. I *will* never be cis-gender, but in the end I'm not transitioning to become a cis-man, I'm transitioning to become ME.

[christianbird]

I'm sitting here in a dress. I've been on estrogen for 3 months. I'm so scared of the future, but it's what's best for me.

[monkeydestroyer]

I still haven’t come out to my parents yet so I’m hoping they will take it well and let me start transitioning even if it is difficult.

[vivienneclaire]

As a 62 year old transgender woman who is halfway through her transition I am moved to say you really nailed the experience. Your video brought tears to my eyes because I empathised with everything you said. Thank You. Cisgender people really and truly have no idea of the battles we face every day. We will never be cisgender but making it through transition requires a strength and a resilience that is rare. That makes all transgender people kind of special.

[chillfactory]

"Is a lifelong battle." nah man catch my skeleton fighting for trans rights

[alexanders]

"you will never be cisgender"

this is what gets me most often. I'll never have had a boy's childhood. I'll never know what it's like to be born and raised a boy. I'll be a boy sure and just because I'm different doesn't mean I'm not valid but honestly the feeling of loss for a life I never got to live hurts me so much and my parents, although mostly accepting, have a really hard time understanding this because I (for the most part) had an okay childhood and had good friends and memories I wouldn't have had if I were a cis boy. But even so, I hate myself for that. I know trans men are valid but I always have this feeling that I'm inferior and will never feel okay with myself. And the fact that this is probably true sucks. I'm 7 months on T and my dysphoria is still bad. I have a feeling it will continue to be soul crushing for as long as I have a chest. Every night I think about why the fuck it's even worth trying if I'll never be okay in this body because it'll never be perfect. But then I see trans men older than me who have been through this and are better now and then I see my boyfriend who sees all of me as a man and my parents who still love me and little brother (12yo) who is absolutely stoked that I'm trans because according to him: "Some people say they want a sister or brother but I got to have both in one person!!" and is super happy to have a big brother now. And I have to remind myself that it's going to be okay eventhough everything inside me is constantly screaming about how utterly wrong everything feels all the time. But I gotta fight this for my future self and for my loved ones.

Edit:

Update. I’m now 26 months on T and 10 months post top surgery. Things are so much better now. I came back to this because of a bunch of new people finding my comment and I want y’all who are going through the same thing to know it does get better. Not gonna lie I still mourn the childhood I never got and most of what I said here is still how I feel, but it is SO much easier to deal with now. It’s not perfect and it never will be, and that sucks ass. But it’s at least okay now. And the further along I get in this, the less and less I hate myself and the more often I get days without any dysphoria at all. I don’t think it’ll ever go away fully, but I’m at a point now where I’m actually… kinda okay with that. I still have bad days/nights, but things just feel better. I know how hard it is. And I know everyone who says this sounds like they’re bullshitting you, but * things WILL be okay. And by every deity out there, it is absolutely worth it to stick it out through the very worst parts. *

[SunnyStreak_]

All I want bro is to pass and be stealth for the rest of my life. Nobody else needs to know the other side of the story, unless if they’re close friends and family.

[checkcasheddavid]

As a straight white male I appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability. I applaud you and wish you all the best.

[herotchii]

One thing that upsets me is the fact that I never got to be a horny, stupid, silly, teenage boy. It sounds stupid, but as a girl such behaviour simply wasn’t expected. I have a brother, and he used to hang out with his friends and they always seemed so silly doing ridiculous and stupid yet fun stuff, but it made me sad knowing that if I behaved like that I’d be called weird...
Looking back, I just want to say; live your teenage years the way you want to live :)

[justabitofamug]

The small detail point has never been clearer to me than when my mtf friend told me she was jealous of me for having a period. I was so confused, I thought "who the hell would want this? I have pmdd, menstruation is miserable for me". But I understand now that it's not really about the experience of it, it's that trans people don't get to have the experiences of cis people.

[apfelkuchen]

the thing what hit me the most was "you're never gonna be cis" Wow it just made my heart sink

[retarra]

Every time I question if I'm really trans I come across something like this that makes me cry, like hearing the line about never being cis. It reminds me all over again that I am actually trans, and somehow it's a sting that hits me over and over again, never any gentler. I wish I could be cis- I wish so badly that I could just be cis, and never have to worry about it. Never having to worry about misgendering, aggression, rejection, any of it. And it has never seemed to matter how much effort I put in, no matter how obvious I make my pronoun buttons, no matter how many times I tell people, it's a constant process trying to not be misgendered and trying to be accepted. And then I go online and see people talking about people like me in such a negative light, pretending I can just snap my fingers and be cis, but I never can. Because I never chose this. If I were given the choice, I never would have chosen to be trans.

[digitalcyclone]

i'm MtF and sometimes it hurts.
i cry knowing i'll never experience a childhood as a teen girl, and how it was wasted being a lonely, suicidal, disguting boy.
i cry knowing i'll never experience dating the same way a girl does.
i cry knowing i may never pass.
i cry knowing i'll never have full control of my voice in the way ciswomen can, such as Amy Lee's dark resonance.
i cry knowing that i'll never escape the hellhole that is being man. i'm forever cursed with it.

[onixgrey]

I really want to know the struggles of another trans person. Unfortunately I’m not old enough to medically transition yet, so I want to know what it was like for you. I hope it wasn’t to bad.

[gamzee]

I had a similar experience today. I was reading through consent forms for an hrt prescription so I would be aware of the health risks associated with it. The process was going fine until I reached one of the last sections of the paper:
"I am aware that transitioning may lead to my relationships with family and friends my change, become more distant, or even severed."

It was right then that I realized that if I wanted to be who I am, that there are going to be people who I might have to burn bridges with, who won't like me and will think less of me. That it was such a real possibility that a hospital saw this and thought it was important enough to include alongside "increased risk of heart attack" and "complications with the liver". It's not like I haven't experienced transphobia before, I've been out for over 3 years now; but it's still depressing to here that people will hate me for being trans

[squishtrovert]

I'm revisiting this and got an ad for "what is a woman."

There's a spike in transphobia going on right now. It feels like everyone is against us. I just want to be okay.