Problems with Prediction, Imagination & Theory-of-Mind in Your ASD Spouse: Message to Neurotypicals

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[naturemother]

The biggest thing I struggle with (11 years in) is knowing that his lack of imagination always results in my partner invalidating my thoughts and feelings if he feels differently. I still can't overcome that without distancing myself, but inevitably, we both lose....

[chrisjackson]

Spot on Mark. I have absolutely no idea what someone might be thinking, worse still I have zero chance of deciphering the emotions often surrounding these thoughts. To compound issues, I can't read people's facial expressions either to determine an emotion (Alexithymia). Also, as a lot of people's thought are driven by emotion and intuitive reasoning I am left even more confused most of the time.

[TheLavenderLover]

Would this problem with imagining and wanting to be able to know what’s happening ahead of time, be the reason why he always asks me for a description of what I’m wearing before he arrives? Sometimes I say “you’ll see when you get here.” But now I’ve learned that they often don’t like surprises (ever).

[letstalkaboutit]

Is it better to not try to explain then? What’s the best way to feel heard in these situations?