Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen: Healing from Shame, Micromanagement, and Harsh Punishment

Complete transcript:
Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen: Healing from Shame, Micromanagement, and Harsh Punishment

Cringing at small talk
Person 1: Okay, here is your latte, any fun plans this weekend? You look like you're up to something.
Person 2: Not really.

Dislike sharing space with anyone else
Person 1: Oh, are you making dinner?
Person 2: I was, but if you need the kitchen, you go ahead.
Person 1: There's plenty of room here, I'm just going to heat up takeout anyway.
Person 2: It's fine. I'm not that hungry anyway.

Uncomfortable if anyone knows what you're reading or watching on TV
Person 1: I saw you ordered this book. I was actually going to grab it. What do you think about it?
Person 2: Oh yeah, I haven't even started it yet. I don't know even if I'm gonna read it.

You go into fight or flight mode when a coworker asks for a ride because they'll see your private space
Person 1: Thanks for giving me a ride home, that was a long shift.
Person 2: No problem.

[usernameisunavailable]

Don't forget about trying to take up as little space as you possibly can. Closed off body language, hidden in the back or a corner somewhere. Not wanting to get in anybodys way, giving them as much space as possible, and feeling like a burden.

[Nikki.Nevling]

I never realized This was a thing. I thought it was social anxiety. Afraid to get up and walk to the bathroom in a restaurant to walk past people. I would hold it. Everything she said. Avoiding going to do almost anything if there is someone going at the same time In the hallway, and timing everything out, just to not be seen . Ohh the lists

[megamaze]

Sometimes I pretend to not know anything about a topic just so that I don’t have to have a conversation.
I intentionally make myself uninteresting so that they will go away. 😔

[bcus]

Each interaction is another chance to ruin a relationship forever

[Lycancass]

Oh man, this was like looking in a behavioral mirror...

[MsLenepigen]

I don’t think I will ever NOT feel creeped out when other people randomly comment on my appearance, actions and whereabouts. It makes my skin crawl. I mean sure, it can be perfectly innocent, but it feels so intrusive and gross.

[annaheya]

I am now purposely making an effort to be seen, simple things like wearing bright colours lol…it was a moment of realisation when I realised that I was living my life so that I’m not seen

[gayu]

I definitely fear and hate being “seen.” I remember when a genuinely nice coworker mentioned that I looked happy/ excited one time and I made it a point to never emote at work ever again :/

[SoftMantis]

Ahh with roommates it's the worst!! You go to the kitchen and someone is already doing something in there, doesn't even have to be cooking and I will just turn right back around accepting I won't eat for a couple more hours

[pikapoka]

This used to be me. I still remember the pain. It has been a long way to reprogramming, but so worth it. ❤

[MarieWilliams-tw]

This is why I always feel socially awkward. When talking to people. Then feel annoyed with myself afterwards. And think about what I said over and again. And beat my self up for it.

[coppersense]

It might be unintentional here, but is highly accurate: the disconnect between facial expression and internal reality. Ive been guilty myself of rolling my eyes in mute discomfort, only to realize later that to the person veiwing me, my expressoon appears contemptuous, leading to misunderstandings snd hurt feelings. Meanwhile, if anything, any contempt I might be broadcasting would have been toward myself.

[jessiematthews]

I'm 45 years old and to this day I panic if someone asks me "What are you doing?" because growing up that meant I was in BIG trouble for something I'd done. Or for not doing something I should have done. Or just existing. I try to be as quiet as I can and not be noticed even in my own house. I've recently considered that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and know it comes from being horribly bullied in school by kids and teachers, and from my growing up in a really volatile home with addict parents and a BPD mom.

[gail]

I'm as avoidant as heck. This IS me.

[dovieblue]

It's like the puppy who flattens out and anxiety pees when you notice them

[Fern]

I had no idea other people felt this way

[lyndadoerner]

These are survival skills! 💛The closer an energy vampire can get to you, the easier to sink their fangs into your energy field. They read your thoughts, emotions, past trauma, and start making assessments. Distance is your friend.

[egregoree]

I’ve never seen this talked about before but boy did it hit home

[moonpleiades]

The co-worker ride thing also invades our alone time and fills it with small talk. To me it's awful unless you are extremely cool with whoever it is.

[CARBONATED_SO-DA]

I remember that when I was a kid I'd always immediately change tv channels if my parents were near, even if it was something completely neutral, like a commercial or the news... I later thought it was because I didn't feel safe to share myself with them, but this short has made me reconsider... (Idk it could also be both.I do most of the stuff in the video.)