7 Signs Of An Oblivious, Clueless Narcissist

Being anchored in Alternate Reality, narcissists genuinely believe they are the model for appropriate living. But as Dr. Les Carter points out, they are oblivious to the ways they spread dysfunction. Your task is to see through their clueless mannerisms, remaining unhooked from the tensions they wish to draw you into.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, Tx. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[jcnlaw]

Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Just my two cents on this excellent video. If you are not yet married, please take notes on this video. If you get a whiff of these unhealthy behaviors, DO NOT MARRY. Things never get better (often they get worse) and you will end up in divorce court. Stay safe. Live your best life. It is much better to be alone than to be with a narcissist.

[olivermahon]

This strikes at the core heartbreak of dealing with and being tied to a narcissist:
Too stupid to realize how stupid they are.
Too unaware to realize the hurt they cause.
Too unfixable to be worth the pain and effort.

[babym]

It reaches a point where you're about to address the same issue for the 100th time and then it hits you... you just close your mouth and walk away 🤐

[OctaviusAugustus]

I am literally living through the realization that I am married to a narcissist for the past 16 years! Your videos are saving me from insanity!

[truthwarrior]

A narcissist said they were going to feed me one kernel of rice, so I took it with a grain of salt.

[GoogleUser-pctu]

Meeting of the minds is an obscure event with a narc

Also… whatever you do, never fly with a narc, the airport waiting and inconveniences of what airports bring, they will be such an ass and rude

[lifewithapurpose]

11:02 "... *i decided i don't need your* acceptance, i don't need your encouragement... your directives... your regulations... parameters... understanding... approval... vote of confidence... fantasy egotistically driven patterns of thinking"

[ParadiseLoading]

This is so spot on. Years of gaslighting had me thinking I was 100% at fault for our relationship issues, but thankfully I understand better now!

[shelley]

This was so on point. It doesn't matter how many different ways you try to get through to them, it bounces off their empty, clueless heads. They are not interested in understanding anyone, not even themselves. It's validating to know I'm not the crazy one, and that it's pointless to even try to get understanding. Thanks again, Dr. C, you are helping me immensely.

[bcampbell]

I never knew how enjoyable loneliness could be until I went to "No Contact With The Emotional Vampires"

[lmholthe]

I used to describe him as oblivious and clueless but I didn’t understand that it was part of a chosen pattern of behaviour. For a long time I thought he was incapable of more. Now I think he chooses to be oblivious and clueless because it allows him to continue to act in a really hurtful and damaging way and then be surprised, outraged and self righteous when there are consequences to that behaviour. And then he gets to engage in that behaviour all over again.

[luffypupperstien]

Boring statements, rhetorical questions, long stories that have only the point of how awesome they are for doing nothing or having been a jerk to a lesser.
Sometimes I insert nonsense when I talk to just for the fun of them not noticing.

[larissabrewington]

I laughed out loud at the blank stare point! Yes! They talk in circles. Blank stare. Or tell you that you've upset them and they 'can't' right now, which is insane, because it's about you asking for them to care a moment and they CAN'T CARE. They don't have the ability. Spot on with all of it, Dr. Carter.

[rcomyns]

The most painful and vital lesson of my life is that those I've loved and given most to will continue to take me for granted and never change. So be it. Time to heal and feel joy again.

[suzanne]

Hopeless was my state for a very long time. He wasn't getting any kinder, instead was becoming more cruel, more dismissive, more invalidating.. so I left.

[zepgirl]

My one question remains! Why is it that they can be so kind, caring and wonderful to everyone else, yet at home they turn into a different person? So, therefore, it is a they choose to treat others kindly, then they can choose to treat their spouse, etc. in the same manner.

[Swami]

They jump from topic to topic, when you hit a topic that's on target!

[jenniferwarhawk]

My husband (25 years with this guy) will be served with divorce papers today (hopefully) and as I've started going through this process of breaking free from this miserable man, I have often found myself thinking, he wasn't really that bad, maybe I'm doing the wrong thing here. Then I listen to a video like this and I remember all the things that made any semblance of intimacy and partnership with him completely impossible and I start thinking again, ok, yeah, he WAS that bad! Carry on.

[kimberleymurphy]

No compliments. No validation. No props. No concern whatsoever for anyone but himself 💯

[jessoftherocks]

Im up against a whole family.of narcissits, their fake family kindness and act himble till onr of them is injured and they all come to together to devalue you viamob mentality.