5 REASONS INFJs ARE TOO HUMBLE

INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Even though we INFJs get overlooked by others, that doesn't stop us from feeling proud of our achievements! We could brag about every success and bask in the glory... but why don't most of us? That's what this episode is all about - diving deep into five reasons why even incredibly accomplished INFJs tend to stay too humble. So if you want learn a little something more about your own behavior, then buckle up and join us for an enlightening ride.

#INFJ #INFJLIFECOACH #LIFECOACHING

[tomcripps]

Remember. Being humble doesn't mean thinking less of oneself, it just means that you don't think lowly of others.

[starshine_Ultra]

as an INFJ - the problem is, when they see our potential and when we don't dim our lights for them, that's where the jealousy, envy, egos and insecurities come in - when i stopped dimming myself for these people who underestimated me and belittled me they couldn't take it. They wanted to see me fail in a lot of things and laughed and mocked me - however each and everything i do is what i have worked on even if they kept putting me down and sabotaging me.

[Sheznic]

We as INFJs spend way too much time trying to manage other people’s Egos. Our focus is where our power is, it’s time we started pouring into ourselves instead of pandering to other people’s insecurities (rant over). 🖐️ 🎤 ⤵️

[MylezNevison]

*"The brighter you shine the more shadows you cast." - Shi heng yi*

I understand this principle well enough that l purposefully am selective about when, where & with whom l dim or turn my light on... Basically l assess to see if the amount of shadows (jealousy/hate) l will cast are worth the energy to deal with in that moment/setting.

As Sun Tzu said, *"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."* ... So ultimately #Discernment is the key.

Our INFJ light is like having expensive jewellery; if you are #wise you don't wear/flash it everywhere or everytime. Balance & being aware of one's surroundings should be the determining factor of whether to shine or be humble. There's a time and a place for shining & humility. INFJs must learn to decipher the right time to shine or not.

[demontrader]

I know I am too humble but its worked for me. Invariably people are arrogant to gain recognition I have found., In other words they climb the ladder through validation. I climbed the ladder through skill being a humble person and thats way more powerful. Once you get to the top, the trick is to let everyone know you are superior to all of them, from a position of ones humility. This worlds a jungle and once at the top, that humility better be used wisely or one can quickly become a cash cow.

[bethiciaprasek]

Do not help others more than they help themselves...except when you realize it is actually really about how much it will help you. For example, coworkers want to learn more about Excel. I decide to organize a Lunch and Learn to help them. They aren't making any similar effort.

Wow! I just want to learn more about Excel and doing it with others will motivate me. I may even be able to negotiate a free lunch from the company for doing so...and be recognized for being so proactive!

I do want others to shine. But it is awesome when I can multi-benefit. There are so many ways I can help others. Why not do so in ways that also help me, and BONUS POINTS!!!, make me look good to upper management or friends/family.

That is why teaching others is so good for us INFJs as long as we make it mutually beneficial.

[katarzynakaczor]

It is the way to protect ourselfs from all the toxic people we have around. Try to show your value or potential they will do all they can to destroy you...

[Chercheure_Indépendante]

1:22 #1 we project our potential unto others
4:16 #2 we want to make other people shine
8:26 #3 We are visionaries
10:48 #4 We speak to people on eye level
14:30 #5 We want real connections
(this is very much my problem, as well as #4 and #1)

[saracarlson-kringle]

I've worked with plenty of 'big fish in a small pond' types, I'm not interested in becoming the big cheese in any department [especially w/o the pay raise that should go with it] - titles mean nothing to me. I have titles, and they're rolling around somewhere in a filing cabinet. People tell me to frame them and hang them on the wall - SO NOT ME. I just like to knock out the job and contribute when I can and move on - and I like others who quietly pull in the harness with me. I'm happy to be the person behind the scenes - setting the stage, AND I hate it when people are unaware of how many people are making it possible for them to get where they're going or be where they are. I had a job where my supervisor was a rare and aware person, and very observant - she promoted people without making a big scene or expecting favors from them down the road [manipulation]. I loved the cut of her jib. I don't have to try to shine - I am shine. I'm not hiding. I'm not tooting my own horn, either. We are ALL shine! It's obvious to me. There ARE a lot of people who wouldn't know or see 'shine' if it burned their figurative retinas out...THEY'RE the ones 'trying' to shine, and it's rather pitiful. [God help you if you come right out and ask them what they're trying to accomplish with all their antics, so I just give them the look.]

[Rubedo]

I feel like I’m still learning my worth, once I started to believe in myself more other people showed me the same. It’s just easy fall back into the same thought process

[robinchina]

I kind of agree with being too humble. But if you emit an aura of confidence and power, there is no need to boast, brag, or try to persuade anyone. They pick it up. Consciously or subconsciously. They sense it.

[lifelessonswithjo]

#1 Used to be a problem for me. I now see what I had done and I reflected to people the goodness and greatness that was inside of me! I now know who I am but I had to cut off a lot of people. I am feeling better and get treated better by people. No more playing small. I wanted everyone around me to win but realized some of these ppl were plotting and praying on my downfall.

[imliampattison]

I never knew I was an INFJ but God put this in my feed for a reason. I've always known I was different to other people but could never explain it

[marandaore]

Listened to you 5 times saying about talking to people and projecting to them that I got more out of a convo...that literally explains everything about why I never understood why people looked down on me. One hand I think I'm doing them a service by making them feel better about themselves but on the other hand it tears away the potential respect they could have had for me. Holy crap. Thank you so much, finally a 💡

[talonthorn]

Ironically, I wasn't trying to be humble. I was taught that the right thing to do is to be considerate of others. Being an INFJ, and being sensitive emotionally, this came naturally to me. I assumed I wasn't doing anything special, so, I took it for granted.

This had two consequences for me. First, I didn't learn to cultivate my natural ability to show care towards others. The INFJ caring heart can absorb an enormous amount of negativity. Without it, I had to close myself off from others to protect myself. Thus, I tried to be pleasant by maintaining a safe distance. I also tried to get the affection and acceptance I longed for, which comes only by getting close to others and being vulnerable. Of course, this contradiction couldn't work.

, including how the interact with boundaries
Second, since I didn't take an active (self-aware) role in my relationships, I let others determine how the relationship would go. My way of "caring" was thus to accommodate everyone in every way. Basically, I just let people run over me; I didn't set and enforce my boundaries. Now, INFJs basically mirror the other person in how the interact in a relationship. This means that my approach worked fine for people who would respect my boundaries. I would likewise respect their boundaries. But for those who did not respect my boundaries, it was fine with them to walk all over me, but not ok when I would do the same back to them. I wasn't trying to be mean; I was just following their lead! This, I didn't understand; this lack of reciprocation didn't make any sense.

It wasn't until an INFP showed me what true authentic care was, that I realized I was neglecting my true self. (This INFP was also the first person I had met in my life who actually knew how to connect with me! I was blown away!)

Fortunately, somehow my caring heart won out over my becoming cynical. I found that it came easy for me to care about others, but now, since I was being self-aware, I was also able to set my boundaries and develop my caring heart. It wasn't an unusual effort to do this. It just came natural, and it also felt a lot better to just be myself.

[corporaterobotslave]

My Dad used to say that one shouldn't blow one's own horn. I totally disagree. If we don't announce / advertise who we are and what we can do then nobody is going to know. Nobody will care. Give them something to care about. Most of us live in a Capitalist society so we have to advertise if anyone is going to buy. My problem with this is that I've done SO MUCH and SO MANY things that it's quite intimidating to most everyone I meet around here, and it scares them. But, at the same time, this weeds out the losers who would become jealous and try to sabotage me.

[lindateuling]

I'm zeroing in on tte first two points - but they're all good,

 #1.  We project our vision onto others..  Ths is something I may have believed most of my life, but not this clearly.  This explanation brings it out plainly.  We see their potential,   but don't necessarily apply it to ourselves especially.   We need to know that it's potential in ourselves, too!Very unique take on that! I need to roll that around in my mind for a while. As a teacher I'm always seeing potential in the kids and maybe it's a good opportunity to do some self searching and see how that applies to me.

#2. We want to make other people shine.   The only problem is that we do it at our own detriment.  It fits in great with point #1.  (I love the the "oxygen"example.  PERFECT ❣)
 
Although I have emphasized just the first two points here, I can see how respect for ourselves and our own unique journey moves through this whole message.  You show how it can make ourselves more genuine and helpful to others.  And it certainly does help us, too.

[cavemanrob]

Living in a rural town with a small population in the Southeastern U.S., it is safe to say the majority of people I come into contact with in my daily affairs tend toward tradition. Finding like-minded souls is a challenge.

[MsDDutch]

In the past two workplaces i was, i did accomplish things without telling anybody. But colleagues picked up on it and started promoting me. Which resulted in me being viciously attacked by managers. I mean, ambush meetings, micromanagement, psycological attacks. Granted 2 narcissists, but how do i continue? If i don't dim my light, i'm perceived as intimidating and i get attacked. I would love to get some tips. Thanks.

[jikook]

This is spot on. As a mom, I feel like my childrens' accomplishments are theirs, but their short-comings are mine. I'm not sure if that's an INFJ thing or a mom thing tho.