i have no guy friends... and you shouldn't either

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In this episode, Elle discusses the importance of women reassessing their male friendships. She explores the concept of 'guy friend purge', shedding light on how such friendships can be disadvantageous and even dangerous to women. Elle takes us through several points including the hidden romantic feelings often present, the use of women as status symbols, and the potential threats to women's safety. She also delves into the concept of 'Canopy ministry', the negative impact on self-esteem, and the need for women to reclaim their inherent value and worth. This frank discussion is a call to action for women to redefine their boundaries and expectations, and to wake-up to their self-worth.

Keywords: i have no friends, friendships, adult friendships

[SoVidushi]

I genuinely believe that women and men can be friends but WAYYY too many men become friends with a girl just to ask her out eventually or to make people think they are together.

[LittleMissDeeDee]

I have male associates but not friends. Unless they're friends from childhood and you literally see them as a brother and they see you as a sister (which is rare), I don't think women should give men their friendship. Being cordial and polite is enough.

[briskettacos]

True male friends are rare. Most are just waiting in the wings...

[ummehaani]

I had the sweetest kindest male friend (also coworker) who made me believe that this is absolute bullcrap, men can be great friends. Then he got stoned and sexually assaulted me even though our friendship was entirely platonic. He walked away scot-free and I lost all bonds I had with most of my coworkers that day. This video genuinely made me cry, I wish I believed this before.

[Pompomeranian]

What I recieved from male friendships: gaslighting, grooming, sexual coercion, coercion into romantic relationships, being treated like a purchased prostitute, a backup girlfriend or a free therapist.

what I recieved from female friendship: understanding, comfort, community, fun, moral support, safety, encouragement, the knowledge that someone is watching out for me and genuinely cares about my wellbeing.

[terresa]

I was always a girls girl and I didn't have many male friends in my life. But I decided to try it and I used to hang out with my friend from college. Then one day while we were hanging out, we were in his car he started acting weird and touching me in a way friends don't do.

Then I realized he was just a patient wolf waiting.

I ain't doing that anymore. No thank you. I like my girls. Men can't understand me anyway.

[onetwo-lctb]

Behind every guy who "got friendzoned" is a girl who thought she had a friend.

My dad died 2 years ago so i moved back to my home town. I was still in touch with an ex, he was in a relationship so i didn't feel threatened at all and he stepped up and was my 'friend' for over a year. Until i mentioned i was talking to another guy.
This man had dumped his girlfriend, WHO HAD A KID THAT HE HAD BECOME A FATHER FIGURE TO, *the day he found out my dad died*, didnt tell me about it, proceeded to hang around me for a year making me think i had a friend, and went psycho when he learned i had found someone (that guy was trash, but thats another story.)

[redpillqueen]

They use you to get other chicks, get attention, get status, look like a stud, lie and say they are dating you ruining your reputation. NO! Get high value gfs

[A---BMaitriSarkar]

Let's be honest, if you are pretty, your male friends would want to date you but if you are ugly they wouldn't even wanna be friends with you .

[vicc]

I'm ugly, so the possibility of guys only wanting to be friends with me because they want me or are attracted to me are very low. And it's pretty apparent how men treat differently women they are attracted to as opposed to when they are not. I used to think that, for that reason, guys would just see my as one of their "bros", and to a certain extend, yes, because I have hobbies usually associated with guys... But I was never a "true bro" in their eyes, you know? They never allowed me fully in their spaces, never fully welcomed, while also not giving me "pretty girl treatment". No gonna lie, noticing I'm always in this limbo IS sad. It DOES hurt a lot. I've been more aware of this and I'm trying to connect more with women, trying to find women who shares the same interests etc.

[becca]

Learning to stop having male friends is one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned. I swear every single time the guy ended up liking me or I liked them and it wasn’t reciprocated. It never worked and it was nothing but drama, so I’m done with it. Female friends only. If a guy likes me, he’ll ask me out. Not want to be buddies.

[janelle_godin]

i think the key is being friendly but not friends. there's a nuance. there's no reason to open up to them.

[icejeons]

Just because a man is nice to me he’s entitled to date me entitled to have a sexual relationship with me?? What the actual fuck. Do these men realise every guy who wants to date a woman will try and be nice to them. Women are allowed to have a type.

[oliviab.]

Woman in her 40s here: I’d say 85% of my friends are guys, and they’re a varied mix (different races, straight, gay, married, in a long-term relationship, single…) They have been my friends for anywhere between 10-20 years, and I have never been romantically involved with any of them nor have they ever made romantic/sexual advances. I realize now that I am very fortunate as this is not the case for most women. They have been there for me through thick and thin (more so than my girl friends), and never expected anything inappropriate in return.

Not to say that I haven’t had my share of terrible experiences with men (including those I thought were decent but then I rejected their advances and they reacted horribly) but I just wanted to share that it is possible to have amazing life-friendships with men without lines ever being crossed. I’m living proof of that, and I’m grateful!

[natashaf.]

I appreciate highlighting "men need brotherhood" and "men need to take responsibility for their own loneliness". Yes! So many men in my life have no hobbies, no emotional intimacy with others or themselves, and no accountability for their own lives. They have so much resistance to anything they perceive as hard- but anxiety doesn't come from doing hard things, it comes from avoiding them. I've had men tell me that the company of other men isn't while being draining company TO ME 😂😭

[Hippidippimahm]

Elle you’re seriously helping me change my life SO much. I dropped toxic male “friends” who were just waiting to take advantage, I dropped a level 10 Pickmeisha who was making my life miserable, I’m journaling and praying and I’m getting my life TOGETHER. Thank you

[ec]

I'd be skeptical of this advice if it didn't actually happen to me. In engineering university, my male best friend and I were like peas & carrots. We were cute faced, chubby, friends. We go our own ways after graduation. Years later, I lose the weight, he's getting out of a divorce and we catch up. He told me (with regret) he used me against his now ex-wife to make her feel bad. Compare her to me. How much fun & how "cool" I was. She'd look me up on social media. Make her feel insecure about her looks and career accomplishments. Poor girl, I'd only met her once before and now I know why she had a bit of a pained look in her eyes when she met me.

[nbnb]

I think your videos have changed my life. I never realized how much I was selling myself short and dating dusties. You helped me see that there's no reason I can't have everything I want from a relationship, and that I want to support other women more actively. Thank you bestie

[sageandhemlock]

Every time I see a girl with a bunch of male friends I sigh silently because I was that girl. I would have fought to the death that they were my friends. Men think being friend zoned sucks? I can’t explain the hurt I went through realizing I never had real friends, just men in line. Heartbreak 💔

They aren’t your friends. I don’t care if he calls you his sister. Trust me. He isn’t your friend.

[happypineaple]

I had a "guy friend" he used to send me gifts, he used to be really kind, he used to listen to me and all that, then he told me he was into me, when i rejected him, he became really rude to me and he stopped talking to me until this day.