Start Conversations with Confidence - Esther Perel

Dating today allows us to hide behind screens and profiles. But how do you build up the courage to go up to someone and start a conversation in real life, if you are shy?

Let me know if the prospect of chatting to a stranger makes you nervous, and how you approach these situations.

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[pikamontr]

I don't know why but the whole "using" your shyness as an endearing trait actually made me laugh. I don't know why I never thought of that; I guess I got bombarded with people telling me to just be more confident that such an idea never occurred to me.

As always, you're great! x3

[roamgarcia]

To start small talk, I've made a resolution to say a compliment to a stranger everyday. If nothing else, it at least makes them smile

[fernandavalerio]

This woman is a huge source of inspiration, happiness, ideas and insights... What a beautiful brain!!!! Amazing..

[sabinemcgee]

Esther Perel, your hair and outfit are beautyful. That needs to be said!

[dudettec]

I really like her blazer! Aside from being a brilliant person she's got an elegant edgy style.

[pageboy]

I like the idea of using situations where you aren't going to see people again as practice, that lowers the pressure.

[BenefitsofBravery]

You have a beautiful accent! I can’t imagine you trying to cover your accent.

[sarabovo]

I love this woman and her emotional intelligence. Such an inspiration!

[billmarcellino]

The technical term for small talk is "phatic communication, " and Esther is right that it has an important social function--it's a kind of "social lubricant" that helps us negotiate day to day life. But it also opens the door to more intimate, substantial connection. Phatic talk opens the possibility of asking not only "How's it going, " but also "Hey, how are you?"

[venusvolante]

I have felt a sense of fakeness when someone starts a small talk with a compliment of my look (sweater, makeup, etc). I have learned to be receptive of the assertiveness (confidence). I had to find the courage to respond with a thank you (smile) and think of a way to mimic the behavior (do I give compliment or do I ask their name?) Small talk is a dance.

[chilok]

I love her advice about small talk. I try to talk to random people everywhere. In the bus, on the train and in the elevator. People get surprised when I say something as if it was weird. I do agree that some people may have lost touch with that. Thanks @esther Perel

[lolar]

Thank you for shraring this tips on "small talk".
Years ago I was alone in New York for a week and felt quite blocked to talk because my spanish accent .Most people I found there was very nice to me, even in elevators, shops, coffee bars. I have a very nice memory of the week because of that.
I learned to do the same when returned to Spain and it is worthwhile to me. It is a kind of practice not only for shyness but to recognize our humaness to each other in stressing places. I truly appreciate smiles and "small talk" because I do not feel ignored or invisible in the city.

[milyful]

When my bf and I went on our first date the 1st time he was sweating so bad, his head was so shiny and sweaty 😆😆😆 I was trying to act brave, he had no clue I was having massive hyperactive bowel sounds

[LaOriental]

The power of vulnerability and authenticity! Yes!! ♥️

[luciem]

Small talk--love it! Most older people know how to do it, young people need to learn how. Especially during this pandemic. Time to connect to other humans!

[grantbooysen]

'Just smile at them.' #spoton Most of communication is non-verbal anyway! :)

[neilcrowesongs]

This is so more authentic than online dating coaches who are so goal and numbers oriented.

[teacheralisonmedina]

I've just found your videos and I simply loved what you say.
ps. I'm Brazilian, I also have a strong accent when I speak English. I used this to talk to random people during my trip to the U.S. the experience was amazing.

[rudeawakening]

Thank you for helping us -
“ underdogs “ !
The empowerment you teach us is priceless - and I so appreciate this .
God Bless .

[annashui]

I love this woman she is very smart confident and intelligent always true what she said to herself and to another this channel really helpful for me and for another thank you !