My Husband Is Amazing... But...

My Husband Is Amazing... But...

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[SuperFitness]

We married our unfinished business! So true.

[AshW-le]

…. I was going to say I married the exact opposite kind of person but then realized he’s slowly turning into my dad…. He wasn’t political or a talk radio guy but now he’s even yelling at the tv like my dad did and listening to politics shows all the freakin time… but he’s loyal to a fault and incredibly honest n a good person and dad so i guess I kinda did. He’s not deaf but he acts like it sometimes lol 😅

[reenasingh]

So well put!!! He's absolutely correct. We think that we're moving away from it all but it come back to haunt us til we confront and solve it. Or else it turns to deep-seated, unsolved problems

[pausimone]

Love him! The way he approaches each case

[PowerhouseCollectiveMedia]

This applies to everyone… whatever pain or trauma goes unaccounted for in our childhood, we all unconsciously “seek” to “fix” in our romantic partners & some aspect(s) of our romantic partners will represent, if not embody/mirror, the character traits &/or behavioral patterns of the person or struggles related to a person from our childhood. Usually, it’s related to a parent/child dynamic. This can be generational as well…

Personal perspective…
My grandma ran away from home at 16, to marry my grandpa, who was in his early 30’s. I can’t remember how she met him, but her dad wasn’t in her life & she had a horrible relationship with her mother, my great grandma. She thought that by marrying my grandpa, she could escape all the drama & trauma at home with her mom. It didn’t work that way. I can’t remember if she was pregnant when they got married, or shortly after, but my grandma got pregnant with my mom very early on… long story short, she ended up having a very tumultuous relationship with my grandpa & they parted ways. She dated another guy then married him, who ended up sexually abusing my mom on & off for years… & my mom doesn’t really like to talk about that period of her life, for obvious reasons. She didn’t have the best relationship with my grandma either… they always struggled to have one. Then my mom ended up having very abusive relationships with my dad & my half brother’s dad. She ended up giving us up for adoption & let’s just say there were a lot of very unhealthy behaviors going behind doors & I also ended up being molested by my adopted dad & raped by an older adopted brother…
So people. PLEASE. Don’t be ignorant to the patterns in your life. They’re there for a REASON. For the last 10+ years, I have been single & over 6 of those years, celibate. I’ve made my healing & growth my priority. You HAVE to at some point! When it ones to generational wounding, SOMEONE has to take accountability & acknowledge what hasn’t been acknowledged; whether unconsciously or through continual conscious denial, but the work HAS to be done, in order to keep certain things from continually being passed on to future generations to experience… & this is something that as a collective, we need to stop being ignorant of the ENERGETIC ties, because it will all continue to be carried over & passed down from parent to child to grandchild, if someone doesn’t take the initiative to do the inner work & put a stop to it. Then, it’s fated. Your child WILL repeat, in their own way, what you don’t repair within yourself. It’s very easy to WANT to believe that if you leave one environment, you’re leaving that environment & whatever people in it, in the past… & on the surface, that’s true, that’s believable to the eyes & the mind. Yet you’re not going to leave the past IN the past, if you’re still carrying it with you… & childhood & generational ties; there’s no running from them. They are the foundations of who we are & it’s in us to shift the INNER narrative, so that future generations don’t have to repeat their own trauma. A woman with an uncomfortable childhood, will be unconsciously drawn to men who in some way, remind her of her father. Just as a man will be unconsciously drawn to women who remind them of their mother… yet although this has been a typical narrative in our society for awhile, it’s not healthy, because your romantic partner is never supposed to “be” your parent… it’s not cute or attractive for a woman to be referring to her partner as daddy - unless it’s in relation to their children - & neither is it cute or attractive for a man to be sitting on the couch playing video games all day in a messy room, while his partner cleans up after him & gives him his food. When these kind of narratives are the constant, I can guarantee you that BOTH individuals have some sort of unaccounted for childhood drama or trauma that are impacting how they function in the world.

[mygirljoey]

Parent and Partner are one letter off for a reason. Thank God. I had a loving, patient, and hardworking dad. Because, that's why I got in my husband.

[andie]

This makes sense, i did solve my dad... I dont date the same men i used to.
I misunderstood my father as well. Just needed to hang out with him more.

[Grace-love]

She married young in age and in experience with adult relationships. Hope she can find a good counselor. Journaling helps. Taking long walks helps. Reading the Word of God helps.

[societydweller]

Childhood trauma that has not been clinically treated and she has had PTSD for years and marries the same guy as her dad.

[TruthsSake]

What he said about ppl marrying their unsolved problems is true. I was engaged to my fiancé who had serious childhood trauma growing up from her mom and dad’s bad relationship. Then this was made worse with additional trauma of sleeping around with toxic men and her trying to hide her past from me. I caught on to it deeper into the relationship and thankfully never married her. Marriage is hard enough. I don’t need to be someone’s therapist.

[JenGable-Justeson]

Sometimes, individuals may seek out someone that is very similar to a parent, who may have issues/addictions, unbeknownst to them.
I wish she went to counseling before she left her parent's house, or shortly after. I wish she realized that she may have had options, as far as how to leave a dysfunctional situation (parent's home), instead of jumping into another dysfunctional scenario. Perhaps, she can attend counseling now, and I am glad she called in. Hopefully, she can rectify her interpersonal relationships, and heal from previous trauma/abuse. She also needs to understand that she cannot "repair" others, and she needs to take very good care of herself. She needs a counselor who can assist her with creating an independent self, and then figure out through reflection (analyzing) what she can do about her current situation. Good luck !

[bennbanes]

My mother raised me so well, rhe older i get the more i see it

[TiffanyThomas-ej]

I agree to an extent. I worked through all parental issues doing extensive therapy 10hr a day for 6 months. My issues become that at some point in life, I began understanding everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. Hoping to help my partner when character defects and negative life choices occurred. Knowing only that individual is capable of making the necessary changes when they're ready. They weren't...I had to leave. It's someone I've cared about deeply for over 30 years. All that's left is prayers, hope, and whatever time he or I may have left. I pray that he's capable of recognizing his worth. Releases all his anger and hatred. Knowing that regardless I'll always care and love him. Sadly, it's at a distance now.

[queent]

I solved my dad at around 18. Married a totally different guy. Raised my kids differently than I was raised. Don't regret any of it.

[bean]

It sucks when you realize you married someone just like your parents and you wanted so far away from them both to have peace. So much trauma to try and fix sucks

[anjaashdown]

Either get counseling, or just get out now. You'll forever regret walking on eggshells 24/7. YOUCAN'T SPEND YOUR LIFE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS! You can leave with love, but this has to be love for yourself. Please, before you have a child who will be deeply affected, as well.

[megd]

I married different forms of my mom… twice. 😔

[briannarose]

My father thay raised me was never pedcect. But he didnt do drugs, he never laid his hand on a woman, and he taught us to respect ourselves. Please tell me how i ended up with a man like my bio father, whom i didn't even see or hear from, from age 5 to age 16. 😂

[tamischmit]

I think that's true cause I can def see it with the guy my daughter had kids with. But my husband has anger issues and I really don't think my parents did. I was in shock that people talked to each other that way. So, idk how I attracted that, but I have one of those too...

[joeforster]

I must be complete I have no unfinished business.