Influencing Styles

This is a video about Influencing Styles

Are You a Tell it, Yell it, Sell it or Ask it Leader?
The way leader’s influence others can be categorised first into two main approaches: They “Push” or they “Pull”:

Leader's who Push more than they Pull, are likely to allow the Advice Monster lurking inside every one of us out. They want to get their way, possibly at the expense of others (and self). They can be overly proud of their knowledge, position or power and may find that others withdraw defensively and may even avoid the leader altogether.

Leaders who Pull more than they Push have learned to tame their Advice Monster and remain curious a little longer. They want to draw the other person on board willingly because it is beneficial for all.

Too often, leaders get mired in a style of engagement that has worked for them in the past, trying the same tactics again and again hoping for different outcomes.I call it the Tell-Yell-Sell-Ask problem - similar to what Judith Glaser later referred to in her book: Conversational Intelligence. And there's a fifth style, I call Flex, where the leader uses a different approach according to the situation and the other person. You can see this easily on the interactive presentation linked here:

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The “Tell It” Leader’s Advice Monster is well and truly out and they usually mean well. But when the other person isn’t “getting it” the leader is inclined to tell more information as if a deluge of “facts” and “evidence” will make the difference.

Yell it leader
The “Yell It” leader is desperate to be heard. Often frustrated with a lack of progress or acceptance of the leader’s view or direction. Perhaps in the mistaken belief that, like colonialists speaking with a foreigner, yelling makes it easier to understand. The “Yell It” leader is nothing less than a bully, using the power of the yell to enforce compliance to what is patently, and obviously the only right thing to do and why nobody else seems to understand shows just how stupid they really are.

The “Sell It” leader is much smoother and knows that people only respond to what motivates them. This leader has a clear desired outcome and knows that there is a cost to the other party and therefore, they need to see the benefit of this particular action. They are persuasive, using psychology to sway and influence decisions to follow in their favour towards their chosen outcome and result.

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Some leaders enjoy great Flex It in their approach. They may begin by telling, and getting frustrated with a lack of progress, move on to yelling to find that whilst compliance may be seen, the induced fear is insufficient for sustained performance. They then realise that they may have to sell their ideas or be prepared to be yelling full time.

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Wise leaders are listeners and to listen they need to remain curious a little longer and ask questions. They ask and they listen, they probe and they listen. They keep on asking to get to deep meaning and uncover many things that they perhaps hadn’t considered. The Ask It leader finds that people soon trust them and instead of compliance they get collaboration and together they realise a better, sustainable performance and outcomes.