COMPLEX PTSD (C-PTSD) FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING: HOLIDAYS

Complex trauma (CPTSD) is about relationship trauma/interpersonal trauma that we experience, often in childhood. And, the holidays just might be the biggest triggers of all time for our childhood trauma and/or our chronically wounding histories of interpersonal trauma.

Everywhere- we see, hear and feel the "fantasy" of the holidays - often the holidays we wished we had in our own childhoods, and those holiday dreams and fantasies we also may wish we had today.

This video explores our holiday triggers, and provides some tips and tools for dealing with complex PTSD, and how we can take control by standing in our power, and using strategies to go from just surviving our holiday trauma-- to thriving alongside, or in spite of our holiday CPTSD.

I've made it available in the video, but if you would like to join my new mailing list and also receive a copy of ❤️"HOLIDAY SELF LOVE AFFIRMATIONS"❤️ to help keep your well-being front and center during the holidays, please feel free to provide your email.

I promise to only send therapy and psychology-related resources, as I am working to increase ways to provide more access to mental health resources, tools and tips.💕

❤️FOR "DR. SAGE'S HOLIDAY SELF LOVE AFFIRMATIONS" ❤️

KRISTIN NEFF'S SELF COMPASSION EXERCISE:

*💕💕*Go to the "Practices" page, and then to "Exercise 2: Self-Compassion Break"💕💕

Holiday music credit

[katieoffenbacker]

I just want to say thank you so much for your videos! They are helping me so much right now, they literally have helped me with a long of my guilt driven anxiety I have most of the time. I grew up with a extremely abusive father who abandoned me at 15, and my mother who has a lot of BPD and narcissist traits, and is abusive. It was very hard in early adulthood to get out from under my mother, she tried everything to keep me from leaving home. I find your videos so validating for so many of the feelings I've had. I've been out of work since covid and with out insurance since then, its wonderful that you have these videos for anyone to see. I just want you to know you are making a difference and an impact for people, you especially have for me. Thank you so much and have a wonderful holiday.

[iamatenamorelli]

watching this 3 years later: thank you 🙏🏼

[scmommy]

Dr. Kim, I'm so grateful to you & this compassionate community that you are creating! I feel so fortunate to be 1 of your subscribers, & congratulations on reaching 1000! Enjoy your family & your beautiful white tree! Thank you so much for making such an impactful video of info during the holidays (so many of us needed this now)! I am sending virtual hugs to you & this entire community. xx

[alexandrugheorghe]

A white 🤍 Christmas tree - such an awesome idea 😌🙌🏻

[GoGoGadgetUKE]

This channel is great so far. I'm undiagnosed and can't afford therapy but have watched a bit of YouTube.. and this channel is up there. Few things I haven't heard before and that hits me.

[rozsheehy]

Since my daughter passed in 2008, I don't celebrate anything anymore. There's no joy in it. Actually, there's no joy in life at all! I just exist, going through the motions. I'm tired...and I don't want to do this anymore. I'm 65, I've lived long enough now. If it weren't for my wonderful husband, I'd have absolutely no reason to go on.
I believe in God, so I'd never hurt myself, but that sweet sleep can't come quickly enough for me. I've been depressed for most of my life, since I was a teen. After my parents got divorced and my only ally, dad, went to Alaska when I was 12, my mother verbally and mentally abused me daily. Until the day she passed, I tried to be her friend. But she didn't love me because I was "just like my father!". My siblings have turned to alcohol, and I like to smoke weed to relax. I have every single symptom you mentioned except for two.
I don't care this is 3 years late, I had to get it out!

[elyse]

Thank you so much, this is exactly what I've been needing to hear! Your channel has been so helpful to me, God Bless you!

[johnstrathearn]

Most excellent advice fo those who have just discovered that they have PTSD or early childhood trauma. This is the first one I've watched. I will be watching more and keeping up also catching up with what I've missed.
Dr Sage you are probably going to be successful with these sorts of shorts. Most people, especially, after the life changing lockdown we all experienced it differently but for most it's had effects, different ways for the individual.
Now we are seeing the true effects that have changed people the after effects of covid and lockdown, people who have no one especially could possibly be inspired , myself being one of them, not just possibly Definitely will be able to watch one of these great self help giving info and be stronger in oneself.
I hope to see more from you Dr. I certainly will be looking at everything else after this as I hit that bell and became a subscriber. Please don't stop. Keep up the good work. Your knowledge is golden inspiring as the world's most needy watch on they will be given the tools to make them more confident and put the past to bed once and for all.
Share this to all fellow members. You could save a life or change one with just this one short. Its certainly inspired me and helped me look at situations and understand myself. Knowledge of self is paramount in my life and this just highlighted one of my biggest problems and helped me to start dealing with it.
A personal thank you from my heart, head and soul.
JOHN.

[poorva]

so grateful to you Dr.Kim1 You are a blessing💜

[bonniepark]

Thank you so much for this video there are many of us out there I don't know the numbers but there are many of us out there and we need this information so thank you for providing it and God bless you and Keep On

[peaceformula]

Yo Kim your videos are awesome.

Packed with info and nicely explained

[aree]

You are a blessing! Absolutely fundamental and required. Love you.

[leeortiz]

Therapy is healthcare. Healthcare for all

[DrKimSage]

Happy Thanksgiving - thinking of all who are struggling this time of year, this week, and in life all the rest of the year. Please take very good care and know that YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, HEALING AND HEALTH.🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️

Here is my favorite self care exercise from KRISTIN NEFF'S ❤️ SELFCOMPASSION.ORG❤️

Self-Compassion Break

Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. Call the situation to mind, and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.

Now, say to yourself:

1. This is a moment of suffering

That’s mindfulness. 

Other options include:
This hurts.
Ouch.
This is stress.


2. Suffering is a part of life

That’s common humanity. 

Other options include:

Other people feel this way.
I’m not alone.
We all struggle in our lives.

Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.


Say to yourself:

3. May I be kind to myself

You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:

May I give myself the compassion that I need
May I learn to accept myself as I am
May I forgive myself
May I be strong.
May I be patient


💕💕This practice can be used any time of day or night, and will help you remember to evoke the three aspects of self-compassion when you need it most.

XO

[lostamy]

So I hit send by mistake, but it's ok I sent my greetings first. Your videos are always helpful and insightful.
I don't have any childhood trauma to say that, " oh yes, that happened."
I really have no idea what is wrong with me except from your videos that because of my fear of abandonment and no purpose in my life, I believe I have both CPSTD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I am always crying, I am always alone, and I have two friends, one being my younger sister who struggles to understand me and often triggers me with things she has said or not answering my texts fast enough. I am 64 years old...I have written to you many times now about my 26 yr old daughter who hasn't spoken to me in almost 3 years now. She wrote me a scathing letter and I sought therapy after considering slitting my wrists, which I would actually never do. I have been in weekly therapy sessions with an excellent psychologist. My daughter started letting me text her but I became overwhelming for her as I wrote disertations if my feelings and how I wanted to help her, I sent her links to many of your videos and my sister, who is the only one speaking to her, said your video, the one about Mothers and Daughters especially hit home with her. But, now she has blocked me bc I went overboard and didn't respect her boundaries and couldn't stop texting her. She read them but I never got any replies. Anyway, I see no feeling better for me in sight, I live alone and cant even get motivated to throw the trash out. I don't drink but I do take Xanax twice a day. Today I give my life to G-D, but I still feel sorry for myself and just basically hate everything. I'd love to go bowling, but the Covid has me to scared to go out of the house, I should walk but I don't have any motivation. I have everything I need to stay in for the next two weeks, just because of Covid. I'm tight like a rope. I am wishing I could have the nerve to just delete this whole message, but I just needed to get this anxiety out. How sorry I am to dump this huge bag of mess on you. Thanks, you are a great woman.
Sheri in Florida

[Chakrada]

Thank you so much for your work. And have a really great safe Christmas. Your point about being creative (within reason) with old Christmas grooves and new Christmas vibes reminds me of a time with my wife's family when we spent the week with them cooking and hosting a different set of family and friends every day (they had got past the age of driving the whole campaign themselves). For the final showdown with core family we decided to defy convention by radically simplifying food, and most crucially of all, alter the layout of the table and de-hierarchialise the seating arrangement. It was all going more or less OK until my BIL insulted our dog. It led to one of the most severe rifts, freeze wars, and lasting family feuds ever (amongst many)! It was a little impish, hands up, but also very illuminating in a quasi-festive way...

[pamking]

I wish I could have come across these videos decades ago!
If you can't talk to your parent or siblings, and your friends haven't been through this, where do you turn.
It's a very conflicting feeling to hate and love the same person.

[lostamy]

Hello Dr. Kim...
Happy holidays to you and your family and your new White Xmas Tree 🎄

[kenpatching]

i have avoided Christmas since i hit 14, although i didn’t understand why I have never looked forward to Christmas. Now i understand a bit more about myself, Christmas is becoming meaningful. i may take me awhile to get into the Christmas spirit the smell of pine needles and the whole thing, is
becoming therapeutic.

[kangarooninja]

The second I see that sappy, sentimental "I'm good enough, I'm strong enough, and doggonit, people like me!" affirmation nonsense, I know I'm in the wrong place, lol.