Why Men Cheat: 3 VALID Reasons Women Don't Want to Accept | The Happy Wife School Show Ep.22

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*Disclaimer:* The views and perspectives on relationships that are expressed in my videos and courses are meant for women married to good men and good men who are experiencing relationship issues within a range of behaviors that are common and usual – what you might reasonably expect your neighbors or friends to be going through behind closed doors. My message is not for aggressive, violent, or compulsive behaviors in a marriage or relationship that are threatening or dangerous. If you are experiencing such behaviors and/or physical abuse, you should seek a licensed mental health professional who is trained in dealing with domestic abuse.

Karyn Seitz and The Happy Wife School are not engaged in the practice of psychotherapy, clinical counseling, or any medical practice. You should not interpret any part of my videos as traditional psychological, medical, or emotional therapy. Karyn Seitz is not a licensed health professional. You should seek help for any specific psychological, medical, or emotional problems with a mental health professional or qualified physician.

Timestamps:
0:00 Welcome
2:51 Topic Introduction
14:03 Women Withhold Affection
20:27 Men's Feelings are Disregarded
31:11 Women Stop Taking Care of Themselves
38:15 Perspectives on Disclosing Affairs
47:50 The Solution
54:11 Questions and Comments

[arturoescorcia]

The worst is when they ask you to share your feelings and let yourself be vulnerable and then they use it against you in a moment of rage.

[iamtheoffenderofall]

If women think sex isn't important, why do they get so upset when a man cheats? Sex isn't important, right?

[cajunnathan]

It's very simple! My Father who was a Divorce Attorney had a saying, "A Fed Dog Stays Home & A Hungry Dog Roams". These are great words of Wisdom!

[tonycarrozza]

Nothing is more irresistible to a man who has been rejected by his wife than another woman who desires him.

[georgestrosina]

Guy's pov: it goes further, lack of sex, lack of appreciation, lack of desire to have alone intimate weekends, or date nites drove me to not to cheat but drove me to divorcing her

[markberger]

A woman that denies her husband has already broken her marriage & has no right to a say in his life anymore.

[dlbracer]

She wants nothing to do with you, BUT she doesn't want another woman to have you.

[seqenenretaoii]

I'm 16 years into my marriage, and I remember 5 years in, we had a conversation about infidelity, and I told her straight up. Getting with other women is not something I want to do, but I'm not going to be in a sexless marriage.

When you stop putting out for me is when I start going elsewhere. There's no point in being with someone who is no longer sexually attracted to me. So far, she hasn't dropped the ball.

[SomeGuy-xfbc]

The most important thing men need to understand is that a woman denying her husband intimacy is infidelity. What is infidelity if not the violation of the marital vows? We've let the writers of the narrative tell us that stepping out is the only form of infidelity. No good man would force his wife to have sex if she is genuinely ill, but when she happens to have a headache every single time he makes the approach, she is violating her vows. For women out there, please don't marry a man you can't bare to have sex with. No good will come of it. You will ruin both of your lives. Regarding staying in shape so that you are appealing to your spouse, it seems both genders are in violation of this rule these days. Too many women marry a man because they think he is the best they can find for the provider role and they know full well they aren't interested in him sexually. Such women are knowingly entering into a marriage contract with no intent of fulfilling their end of the bargain. Any men who has sussed out that that is his situation should start making his exit plan. Don't wait for her to do it, because she may have been making her exit plans since before the wedding. Men need to get it through their thick skulls that women are horrifyingly pragmatic about these things in a way that men could only describe as evil.

[geography_guy]

If a woman doesn't value/respect her husband's thoughts and opinions he will never trust her with his feelings. They are the gateway to his feelings

[carpenterfamily]

I’m a husband of 37 yrs, never cheated, was a good provider and family man ~ but just can not believe there are even good women out there. It seems a life wasted, undeserved guilt.

[johncarlson]

What we're told when we're young:
"Sugar, spice and everything nice."
What we find out later in life:
"Entitled, cold and chronically manipulative."

[michaelyunker]

I’ve never cheated on my wife nor do I plan to, but this lady is hitting every nail on the head. Everything she’s said so far is what I’m experiencing in my marriage right now. It’s like she’s been a fly on the wall.

[Goalcrusher]

She just described my whole experience with my ex and post relationship. We don’t crave sex, we crave intimacy and affection, cuddling, feeling a woman’s soul, feeling like she wants us. But in today’s society she’s allowed to have unlimited male friends and no accountability. Now I’m 38 years old never married, no kids, kinda dating but I haven’t met ANYONE who makes me feel safe. Just gym, work, sleep, adventures.

[jovangaltic]

The most important lesson for men - don't be a "good man". Which means a "weak man". Never be soft. Never tolerate b/s and disrespect. Set clear boundaries and be ready to walk away at the first sign of nonsense.

[vincentwhittaker]

I think when men cheat they are looking for someone they feel cares for them. When a woman cheats she is looking for something better that what she has. Men that don't feel appreciated are likely to give into temptation. Most men are loyal and willing to go the full distance. There are breaking points even in a marriage. Ms. K you are awesome. Thank You

[DuranWilliams-ubdd]

Sadly women don’t care what we think or want.

[geography_guy]

I don't judge men that have been emasculated/abused and/or deprived for stepping out. I'm currently in a marriage like that. Finally after making the decision to focus on my own well-being so many years of only focusing on hers I have been able to have the courage to stand up for myself. I'm going to have it out with her very soon. However, here's why I don't judge. Ever since my wife started withholding intimacy from me I find that I have a deep-seated need to connect emotionally with women I work with. I have to really guard my heart. I never had that problem before. However, very soon either my marriage will start to improve or it will end.

[sgtmajorstone]

I still have difficulty even talking about it. Decades ago I cheated on my wife, the first women I ever loved and she left me. The shame and guilt I felt was soul crushing and there was no doubt in my mind that I was a bad man and should be hung from the tallest tree. It haunted me for a twelve years and tainted every relationship I had afterwards and I believed I deserved every bad thing that happened to me. After a parade of women who's faces I can't remember, way too much alcohol and getting into fights at the slightest provocation. It took a few nights in jail to convince myself I needed help or the "dark terrible thing" would kill me. I never really thought therapy would help, but thankfully I was wrong. One of the things that puzzled me over the years was why? Why would I do such a terrible thing. The marriage was perfect and our love was strong and she kept me happy in the bedroom. It was revealed to me through many therapy sessions that I was racked with insecurities that I never realized I had. Insecurities from a childhood without a father figure. The point is, I was a moral man who made a terribly immoral mistake. Does it absolve me? No, I paid the price. It did release me from serving a life sentence of sorrow for "what might have been" and allow me to unshackle myself from the past and find a new love. Though I am happily married and I'm truly content, I still have the occasional pang of regret forty years later. I guess I could have just come to the point I wanted to make and say, it's not always the wife's fault.

[danmiller]

I think a part of my marital problems is that my wife measures me against her dad and she gets upset with me for wanting to leave. She thinks that just because her dad stayed and took the abuse from her narcissistic mother that I should stay and take her crap. No way.