39 Problems with the Noah's Ark Story

39 Problems with the Noah's Ark Story

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By now, you probably know that Creationist Ken Ham and his Answers in Genesis ministry are about to open Ark Encounter, better known as the Noah's Ark Theme Park.

Essentially, this $100 million park wants to convince you that the story of Noah building the ark, and inviting two of each living thing on it, and rebuilding society is literally true.

I just have a couple of questions about that...

- Where did Noah find enough wood in the Middle East to build a ship of that size?

- When did Noah learn how to build a ship? Who taught him?

- How did the Ancient Egyptians need an army of slaves to build the pyramids, but Noah just needed his three sons to build the Ark?

- How did a family of eight care for all those animals?

- Why did a loving, caring God have to kill off all but two of every species? How did God decide which ones lived? What did those other llamas ever do to Him?

- Assuming God killed off all the other people besides Noah's family, didn't he also murder a bunch of unborn babies? And if God can do it, how come the Religious Right says women today can't?

- Where did Noah's Ark go? We've never found the remains. Not on Mt. Ararat. Not anywhere.

- Since the story of Noah's Ark wasn't written down for thousands of years after the events happened, isn't is safe to assume the authors got some details wrong? The Gospel writers couldn't even agree on the details of Jesus' life, and they wrote that stuff mere decades after his death.

- Why does the story of Noah's Ark so closely resemble the Epic of Gilgamesh? They're practically identical stories, but they're obviously not talking about the same event. We shouldn't think of Noah's Ark as a story about obeying God and saving the world. We should think of it as the world's most famous example of plagiarism.

- Where's the evidence of a global flood that large, only 4,000 or so years ago?

- Because we have evidence of dinosaur fossils, we know dinosaurs had to be on that Ark, too. How the hell did they fit on there?

- Why did the meat-eating animals not eat all the other animals?

- What did all the animals eat, if not each other? And where was all the food stored? And how did it stay preserved for so long without a refrigerator?

- Did the animals go to the bathroom at all during the journey? And where did it all go?

- How did Noah's family not get all sorts of diseases with what had to be giant piles of shit building up on the ark?

- How did Noah collect the tens of millions of insect species alone, especially when those species don't live near each other geographically?

- Who inspected the insects to make sure you had one male and one female of each?

- How did they get the koalas from Australia and the penguins from Antarctica to come to the Middle East?

- And after the Flood, how did they get back there?

- How did they get all those animals onto the Ark that quickly? With all the species they needed to bring on board in a limited amount of time, and snails moving as slowly as they do, how fast were they boarding?

- How come when people draw pictures of the Ark, they never include the plants? Because there are a *ton* of plant species that also had to be on the Ark to survive. They wouldn't have survived the flood otherwise.

- Which animals on the ark had lice? Because, you know, those are living creatures, too.

[kallmekrissarchivetiktoks]

You know you are early when there are no dislikes on an atheist's video.

[Pnospric]

You forgot one. If the flood happened 4000 years ago, and killed all the plants, then why do we have a tree in existance that is 5000 years old?

[Roachan.]

when i watch Lord of the Rings my parents say "what do you understand from this nonsense". yet they believe noahs ark story is true.

[hkayakh]

I just know anyone that believes in god is gonna say “god did it”

[Imthemedic.]

typical christian answer to these 39 problems: gods magic.

[Cecile]

8 Dislikes....hmmm, probably Noah and his family.

[johnsmith-tqzn]

Quiz: What does a true Christian do when they have 100 million dollars to spare?
1. Charity.
2. Build a theme park to prove that their imaginary celestial friend exists.

[critterinacardboardbox]

Wait. I thought Noah's Arc was just a children's story. It's actually something people believe is true? My whole life is a lie

[Epicaq]

Noah's Ark - the tale of how humanity started out as inbreds.

[thesqooq]

God: I will give every human being free will, and they will be able to make their own choices in life.

Also God: These humans are making the wrong choices, they must all die.

[Lightyagami]

The easy answer by believers “god had a plan”

[christianvennemann]

Something that *immediately* debunks the Noah's Ark story:
*Termites*.

[swaggydaddy]

Christian Logic: Here's the answers to your questions
1: God
2: God did
3: God
4: God helped them
5: God has his ways
6 & 7: They Sinned in some way idk
8: Yes but don't worry, it's all according to God's plan
9: Because God is supreme being
10: Only God knows
11: No the bible is all true 100% of the time
12: Just a coincidence
13: The bible
14: Honestly Idk so i'll just say God
15: God told them not to
16: God made them not have to eat.
17: Look at 16
18: Look at 16
19: The Ark encounter explains this or #16
20: Look at number 19 or 16
21: God protected them from it
22: God collected them up.
23: God organized them, girls on the left and boys on the right.
24: Look at #22
25: Look at #22
26: God put them back
27: With God's help
28: See #27
29: Don't worry the plants are saved too.
30a: None, God made them not have it
30b: Oh wait, oh I forgot...uh, God made them not go on any animal.
31: See #30
32: God made it so that these ants are special
33: God
34: No, because God restored it
35: See #27
36: That effect wasn't possible before because God didn't allow it.
37: God planted it
38: God made a drain.
39: Many civilizations actually recorded a global flood around that time

Lol Silly atheists, I debunked all your questions the story must be true

[angelikaskoroszyn]

#40 How did animals from colder climates survived in the Middle East?

[corcaightowner]

As a child raised in a catholic household, I was forced to attend catechism. I questioned everything they attempted to teach us, including the story of Noah. This did not sit well with the nuns. They asked my parents that I not attend anymore. They could not answer my questions truthfully. And it made others have questions as well. One of the nuns actually quit the church shortly thereafter. All anyone has to do is think about the details of these stories and they all fall apart.

[giacomopamio]

40 how could just one family re-populate the world whitout any genetical problem?

[Wistful]

The insects are especially problematic. One week into the float: "Oh, no, both the mayflies have died."

[hmgrraarrpffrzz]

What I wonder is: if God created everything, and he knew the future, then he knew that creating everything the way he did would lead to the situation where he'd kill about all life on the planet. So why didn't he create things differently? The only conclusion is that God *wanted* to kill everything. So he is some sort of sadistic psycho murderer?

[arthurmorgan]

Flaw in the story: *exists*
Creationists: God!

[parthiancapitalist]

40) that would mean bacteria needs to be there, and bacteria is asexual