Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Adulthood

Oppositional Defiant Disorder, sometimes referred to as ODD, is a condition characterised by a continuing pattern of behaviour that can be defiant, hostile, un-cooperative and disruptive towards others, in particular authority figures.

This video looks at some of the common characteristics and traits of ODD and how they present in day to day life, relationships and at work.

00:00 Intro What is ODD?
01:50 Co Morbidity
02:21 Common Characteristics
04:49 Defiance Disorder in Relationships
06:47 Defiance Disorder at work
08:58 Living with ODD

Other videos you might find interesting:
Narcissist's False Superiority Complex
Signs Your relationship will fail
Dealing with StrawMan arguments

Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos in the comment section.

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#oppositionaldefiant #personalitydisorder #defiance

[sheilabrowne]

I am a mother living with an adult child who has ODD. In my experience I can unequivocally say that he was born already exhibiting these moods and behaviors and our family is still today learning how to navigate this often painful and disruptive disorder. He is an intelligent young man and I do know that he loves his family but it can be incredibly hard to be on the receiving end.

[sianrudd]

Next time I see my brother I’m going to give him a big hug. He won’t know why. No point telling him as he will rip my head off. But I will hug and show him love

[ovwryur]

I have known someone with ODD his entire life. He's now an adult. I think the person you described may not have been diagnosed and has little insight, hence a lot of believing he or she is a victim or persecuted unfairly. In my experience, the ODD patient is vindictive, provokes people, argues about everything, will switch sides just to argue. He told me he feels an internal resistance at being told to do anything, and that he can't stand to be controlled. He was diagnosed very young and is well aware this could be a problem for work. He prefers jobs with well defined procedures, so he can compartmentalise. He tries to put authority aside by thinking he's chosen to just follow the procedure. He feels the same about driving. There's a procedure, thus no road rage. He does believe rules don't or shouldn't apply to him. He still gives his family a hard time, with zero cooperation and constant argument. They are the easiest to control. Others can walk away. I realise this is just one case.

[thisperson]

As someone with this, as well as many other things, the comments are scaring me. Nobody chooses to have a disorder, it takes a lot to twist somebody up to get them this way. Personally I have lots of trauma and parents who denied it or who didn’t know how to handle anything properly because they had me at 15. Also living with my super conservative father for 2 weeks at a time, then living with my super liberal mother the other 2 made the expectations of each home so different that rules made by adults felt unreliable. Anything I did right at one place was wrong at the other. I am not evil, I suffered a lot and got wired wrong. Everyone has a potential for change, but that decreases significantly if nobody believes or treats you like you can get better.

[StarTrekFanLife]

My best friend has this. We almost always get in an argument at restaurants. He can mention politics, but if I say anything I am too loud and he goes into a panic. He's super worried about how people perceive him. Traffic is horrible. It's like he's stepped into a video game and everyone around is an opponent. He imagines that random cars are trying to "block him in. " He will race to pass people with a curve coming up. He knows when it's dangerous and says "I'm going for it! " and hits the gas. When I try to point things out it's all my fault. These things are perfectly normal. He tells me that I am a narcissist. It never ends. He thrives on the conflict.

[mwngw]

If the ODD is in a spouse it is a nightmare.

[dovgoldstein]

Thank you very much. I have a wonderful son who's in his early twenties and living at home, who is usually a very pleasant person to be around but has been a bit unusually serious and thoughtful since he was a little child. Terribly hated elementary and high School so very much it broke our hearts and the teachers were very often portrayed by him as enemies, though he never ever got in any trouble and always did well with his school work. I think he grinned and bore it a ton. Unfortunately every now and then he gets into an argument and writes off certain relatives even a brother, brother-in-law or sister if particularly if they criticize him in some way. He has an incredibly strong sense of fairness, fairplay, and gets extremely angry about feeling forced to do something so that deadlines excruciating for him and he has failed out of a few online college courses because of that. It seems to me that he's been dropping religious rules and expressing frustration and irritation when It's implied that an activity is not permitted due to 'custom'. It used to be that he was fine with rules that seemed authoritative to him, but when it's a rule based solely on custom, he kind of blows a gasket. I wish I knew what direction to suggest he go in. He has actually asked about talking to a therapist but we haven't helped him arrange that yet.

[dianemoril]

one of my friend's husband is like that. you cannot have strait conversations with him. you must talk to him in 2 times: 1- you share information and he denies everything and act oppositional. you have to drop it. 2- you talk again about this later. now he will be able to understand and share his own feelings.
every conversation you begin with him ends in arguments. so frustrating and infuriating! I love my friend so every time I meet them at home, I must deal with him. it's really like talking to a 5 yo child.

[starlingswallow]

My father will be asked NOT to do something and then continue to do that very thing. He will apologize and say "Oh, that must have been embarrassing/frustrating" but his actions continue/don't change.
He goes down one way streets, enters "do not enter" doors or roads, cuts in line, walks off without my mom when she's asked him not to do that (she has directional issues and gets lost easily), he cuts lines and just doesn't think rules apply to him. He will take most of the food at a dinner for 4 people, leaving little food for the rest of us and when confronted, he wiggles in his chair as he's "fixing his plate" like he's a little child that got away with
It doesn't help that our whole family enables him with not speaking up, phrases like "oh, that's just your dad..."
He is not safe for me to get close to because of these characteristics....and I love him so much, but his actions can be MADDENING!
One time he insulted me in front of our family at dinner, I got up to leave because I was so hurt and angry and he LAUGHED at me as I walked upstairs!!! WTH??
What father laughs at his daughters pain?
It's so confusing.
Sometimes he's sensitive and opens up, but then it's intermittent with these other behaviors!
He's impulsive about things he says via text or online social media...he's constantly getting into trouble with family members for doing/saying things that are inappropriate...which makes me think he's impulsive without thinking OR he is purposefully doing it in order to rile someone else up to watch them spin! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I've had to disconnect my heart from him and just not care about what he does or says. It's no matter to me anymore. I no longer try to get any of my self worth from him because with him, there isn't much support, compliments, encouragement....and I'm his only daughter 😢

[reymohammed]

Some of these people might have felt excessively pushed around as children.

[ceramicmonster]

I have trouble stopping my dysregulation and other symptoms even though I bitterly regret my actions after. Even if I realize whats going on mid-mess I can't stop it most of the time. I just have to self-isolate. That only leaves me depressed and with no self self esteem or trust in my ability to socialize or even have romantic connections.

[Aashka_The_Mystic]

My sister has this and never grew out of it. She mellowed out slowly over the years but I don't think this a condition many kids ever grow out of.

[southernhorseman]

As a professional trainer and instructor for over 25 years, I have worked with numerous students who have displayed symptoms of ODD. After exhausting every possible approach to work with and educated people with similar symptoms, I finally had to eliminate them from my program just to protect my own sanity.

[taniakokelj]

Thorough and clear explanation of ODD in adults. It explains a lot and answers many questions about a relationship I’ve had. Thank you ❤

[BobTheSchipperke]

This reminds me of dealing with my sister (who appears like a malignant narcissist) who DEMANDS the opposite of whatever is near her 24/7 that she is threatened by. I know it’s not the same, but it’s one of the few ways I can describe what it’s like to live around this kind of person. I try and be open to various issues people might experience, but there is a point when I need to have a life that isn’t dominated by high maintenance people. I paid my dues to an extreme. My childhood and circumstances can’t be changed, and it’s time to let them find other sources of supply. Thank you Darren for the run down of what oppositional defiance disorder is so I can study the difference.

[catalhuyuk]

I’ll tell you one thing, knowledge is powerful. Understanding the characteristics of these people is the first step to recognizing and overcoming the relentless torture they try to impose upon their victims.
Don’t be a victim, be indifferent.

[Jabulani]

My brother is extremely ODD. He cant work a job. He does not drive a car. If you ask him to help he will get angry and avoid helping. He fights with everyone. Hes 48 years old and was stabbed in the chest on a street corner. He constantly asks me and others for money. Its so sad. When he was in 2nd grade he thew an eraser in his teachers eye. When we were teenagers, we both had to do chores and we got into a huge fight, i got kicked out because my mother favored him. I get jealous when i see adult siblings enjoying each other because i know that is a relationship that i will never have.

[MeagonHardy-sqnm]

Thank you and I think I have oppositional defiant disorder. I appreciate this video

[ricknoisable]

There is a relative of mine that he disagrees with me on EVERYTHING, I’m not exaggerating if I say A he says it’s B, if he says A in the morning and I repeat what he said in the afternoon he disagrees with me, it’s unbearable, the guy only disagrees and turn me down on everything, and when he doesn’t know about the subject he disagrees anyway but tells a lie to back his argument.

[zachscully]

Wow. Just a brief description brings to mind past supervisees, customers, partners, and friends from decades ago. The total lack of consideration for suggestions, manners, feelings, good faith conversations, etc. are unforgettable.