Therapy Advice : How to Help a Child With Oppositional Defiance Disorder

To help a child with ODD, it is important to know the characteristics of this disorder. Help a child with ODD by following the advice of a licensed psychologist in this free video on mental disorders in children.

Expert: Laura Grashow Psy.D.
Bio: Laura Grashow, Psy.D., is a child and family psychologist with a thriving practice in South Florida, where she is well-known for her time-effective approach that is dynamic, direct and compassionate.
Filmmaker: Paul Muller

[lindayusof]

My eldest son is currently facing this issue, but he is getting better now.

I started noticing him having ODD symptoms early 2022.

He did a lot of things in school which had annoyed friends, teachers and principle.
And other parents started to complaint due to his behaviour towards their kids.

He never listen, loves to argue, , he always want to win, always annoys others, easily annoyed by others and environment, frequent temper tantrums, and many more.

He hated school, teachers, friends, everything about school.
And everyday was a nightmare, waking him up for school was a real struggle, never without tears.😢

School asked me to take him for therapy after series of events involving him with other kids, teachers, unable to listen to orders and giving disturbance during classes.

I was lost, kept asking why this thing happens, and what went wrong.

Until there was this incident where he had caused injury to one of his teacher. And when the teacher asked him to say sorry, he kept himself silent. And when the teacher calmly said, "If you love your mother, then ask for forgiveness" .

Nothing happened. He acted like nothing happened and I was shocked since it happened right before my eyes. Didn't he love me?? That seemed like a red signal to me.

At home later that day, I asked him whether he loves me, and he said NO😭😭😭 with the look in the eyes full of revenge and hatred.😭

I prayed to Allah to show me the solution in Dec 2022 last year during my pilgrimage to Mekah.

After listening to Dr's recommendations, sharings and comments from social medias, I changed my way of advising him.

No more hanger, no more rattan, no more raising voice to him, always hug him, listen to him and makes him feel important. Always ask how was his day at school, etc.

On April 2023, his school teacher informed me that they were shocked to see his changes.

And of course I feel embarrassed, realizing that I was the one whom triggers this from the very beginning.😢 it wasn't his fault. It was me😢

Now I understand things slowly happened when I started having another baby and he felt neglected.

He used to take all the blame even it was his younger brother's misbehaviour and I changed this behaviour as well. No more bias, be it you are older or younger. Has to be fair among sibling.

I'm happy now that he sincerely confesses to me that he loves the new me and when I asked him why he recently behaved in school, he answered " I behave because I love you". He hugged me closely.

I cried that day the moment I saw him as if I was looking an innocent baby whom I had 8 years ago. My bad, sayang. I am so sorry... 😔

In conclusion, violence never a solution to any misbehaviour/misconduct.
Treat our children with love and respect.

I have learnt the hard way.
I hope others may give it a try too.

[jaynestagg]

My son has it but he's now 28.... Even though he's lost a few jobs, he lives away now and is able to manage his behaviour. I supported him all his life 100% I always gave him choices and I always encouraged him when the world was against him. He has a full time job in Linwood studios, a lovely girlfriend, he's learning to be a pilot ( he also has aspergers) be patient and see the disorder is not the child. Love and support him. He's loves me unconditionally for standing up for him and fighting for him😃

[jonesy]

Thank you for sharing your expertise! Be blessed.

[trailtoimprove]

Impossible. It was my way or no way.
My mother learned how to deal with me manipulating me. It did wonders to the way se got along but not to the way I got along with others.
And it certainly had the opposite effect on our relationship once I got older ( around 24/27 years old), realised what she had done and refuse the manipulation.
We did not knew how to conmunicate. She died 4years ago and we were never able to conmunicate.
Every conversation equaled and argument.
We avoided each other as much as we could living in the same house and limited talking to good morning, sleep well, food is ready, are you going to work today and litle things of the sort with a yes, no reply. Anything else meant an argument.
Now I know I have Odd. I don't know if she had it to.
Regardless, it felt like a war zone at home

[BonnieandTomLiotta]

Thank you Dr. Laura Grashow for posting this video and sharing what you know about this subject.
May I make a suggestion? If yes, please continue reading. What if there is something happening that is completely off our radar when it comes to raising children? What if there is nothing wrong with the youth today but they are a product and/or effect of our parenting approach aka cause? If you can wrap your mind around this thought that we are doing everything perfect to create a world that our children's spirit is just standing up for itself but doesn't have the life skills to communicate in a way that we are open to hear them truly asking for help...what if this was true?
What if all you had to do was tell a child NO, CAN"T, STOP to what is a GOAL (want, need, desire) to the child's perspective in life? Now this will take some repetition and consistent effort over years to produce this effect we now label ODD. Is your mind opening enough to start to see that this is true for everyone who has not been taught how to overcome obstacles and turn them into opportunities? However, for the past 25 yrs I have seen these ODD results show up 99.9% of the time. It is no secret to our inner circle that ODD is as simple to create as making ice cubes. If this negative situation is true on any level then it must also be true that we can also reverse, fix, cure and/or create a positive situation by switching our approach (cause) and it too with some repetition and consistent effort eliminate this label, yes?
Ask and answer these questions for yourself?
Who is older? You or the children
Who decided to have kids? You or your kids
Where is the leadership? You or the kids
Who is the cause and who is the effect? 
What if, you begin to see that our kids do something we don't like ( cause ) and we (effect) tell them don't, stop or quit it that we are parenting in a place of lacking leadership and the child has no exit strategy to learn the necessary life skills to become truly independent the way nature intended, starting to see it?
Dictation is the root cause to this disorder and Guiding Behaviour is natures path our children's spirits are crying out for in their limited way to communicate.
The #1 reason parents with ODD kids are not making the transition is because they lack the knowledge, supportive resources and mindset skills. This is why there is hope for all families suffering from this. Einstein said it best " The mindset that creates the problem is the same mindset that can't fix the problem because if the mindset could fix it why would it create it in the first place?"
So if you are looking for the solution to your current ODD situation. There is a simple path that parents are learning to speak kid with a 99.9% success rate that finish learning the LTSK course. Stop the bleeding and start the healing today by visiting learntospeakkid.com

[kripaparajuli]

I'm suffered from oppositional defiant disorder.
I need some treatment . what should i do...?CAN u please help me

[zacktalada]

I have this so thank you I live with Grandma and I am 15 dealer and smoker and im moving in with Mom we can get along tho

[melaniefinson]

I'm a little O.D.D.-
Most people really don't get me-

[williamk]

Not everything is a disorder. Some things can be solved with good discipline, like ODD for example, which isn’t a thing. So stupid.