What is IFS Therapy? | Intro to Internal Family Systems

Welcome to Part 1 in my series: What is IFS? Internal Family Systems Therapy, Explained. In this video, I provide an introduction to IFS Therapy. I explain some of the core concepts of IFS such as parts work, and the science behind these parts. I also briefly discuss how the approach of an IFS therapist might differ from the methods of other experiential therapists.
You know, one thing I would like to mention, is that in this video I say "in a pathological sense" when referring to people with DID (what we used to call 'multiple personality disorder'). Of course my meaning was that to have multiple parts is not linked to any kind of mental health problem...it's just the way we are born. But now when I hear myself saying 'pathological sense' when talking about DID, I sort of cringe...because really everything in the mind is adaptive...even the more severe separation of our parts in the form of DID. In my haste to make a quick point, I think I used a word (pathological) that I wouldn't normally use...or even believe in. So apologies for that.
#toriolds #partswork #ifs #therapy

00:00 An Introduction to Internal Family Systems Therapy
01:15 “Parts Work” in IFS Therapy
03:37 The Neuroscience Behind IFS Therapy and Parts Work
05:17 How Childhood Experiences and Implicit Memory Create “Our Parts”
08:00 Why Do We Have Many Different Parts?
11:06 There Are No Bad Parts
15:54 IFS: A Relational Frame for Working With Schemas

[ladyc]

As a new therapist, the way you explained this gives me hope for myself and my clients. Now I feel I need a therapist.

[ooAwakening]

Tori, your eloquence is really something special. In my opinion, your compassionate presence alone contains a healing energy. If you ever created a course or did more of these types of videos to help patients directly at a large scale, I think your efforts would be profoundly successful and transformative for so many.

[WhosIggy]

I had to pause the video many times to get up out of my seat and scream in gratitude for all of the nuggets in this video. So much of what you shared resonated and I thank you for producing content like this.

[JasonRich]

I wish psychology videos were regularly produced this well. This is visually and auditorily one of the best I've ever seen.

[evonne]

I feel this is exactly what I needed to learn! I have CPTSD, and developed chronic fatigue after an excessively stressful career and toxic relationship. There's all this ruminating going on in my head and dysregulation of the body. Healing has been very slow but I am still triggered a lot. I am worried when I can ever get back to a more normal life. Appreciate the way you present this information.

[stephbraz]

In order to keep things simple for myself, I denied I had parts. Seemed simple right, the less parts, the less work. This only made things worse. The more I chose to focus on fitness and body image, the more I craved and ate junk food. I would sometimes freak out at the thought of having many parts, like I was crazy, so I exiled some. Then I found this approach on yet another 2 a.m. insomnia YouTube search. Lol. I must admit that denying my parts created more suffering, so the logical approach now is to welcome them all to the party and start mingling. Lol.

[farhanmohamed]

I actually met my internal family and I was shocked to see that they were actual beings and I even recognized them it was very life changing.

[screenshotofwords]

You explained this SO thoroughly. Oh my goodness. Teaching is your calling. I've never seen information delivered so clearly and warmly.

[anniee]

I was exhausted and had given up hope of finding something that truly addressed the root of the cyclical depression I have contended with my whole life. I believe I was led to IFS and Dr Tori. Like others I found some information cumbersome and overwhelming and am elated to have found Dr Tori's videos on the subject. My whole being resonates with what she describes so simply and compassionately. I am so grateful for this gift.

[aericonvideo]

Hello,

Not sure this is the place, but wanted to tell you that your work is amazing. Having spent the past few years trying to learn from Van der Kolk, Porges, Levine, Mate about polyvagal theory, somatic therapy, IFS etc., I was blown away watching your videos. I watched hours of IFS videos after five minutes I thought “Wow, she is way better at explaining this than Richard Schwartz”.

Your voice is calming, you look very nice, and the sound and video quality. Most importantly is that you don’t need a PhD to understand what you are saying. The less safe you feel, the more your parts are activated, the more compromised your cognitive function is. You have made the meaning and application more accessible than anything I’ve seen.

I love the bicycle analogy. The emotional danger alarm evolves all the way to the complex patterns and schemas. It’s automatic. I don’t think to myself there was a 8% change in the angle of the pitch in the road therefore I will shift 1.7 pounds of weight to correct angle... It just happens.

You also suggested the idea “I am deeper than my pain”. Another way to think of it is that I am not my pain. The pain, the event, the memory, the response, are together like a cloud. I am more like the sky. The 8 C’s. I need to be careful not to forget that I am the sky and think I’m the cloud. Caught up in the darkness, rain or whatever characteristics. I am so much more than that.

In that way I like to think that I am what is before the thoughts. The place where the thoughts are happening. When I am suffering, if can recognize that it is not the information causing that state, but its a somatic response generated by the schema or parts, I can return to myself. The IFS dialog is a powerful tool to update the schemas if I can really step back from it. I found that Tara Brach’s RAIN meditation (Recognize, allow, investigate, nurture) also helpful.

Often the schema doesn’t have a narrative. We can’t explain to a crying baby that it’s over reacting, it’s safe, there’s no life threat etc. In my case there were many adverse childhood events before and after I was born. The baby feels unsafe because it’s not familiar with the environment. You can swaddle the baby in a blanket or in your arms. Over time this fear response will dissipate. In the same way the more I embrace my suffering in a healthy way the better chance I have to move past it.

When we identify with the schemas we feel shame, resentment, anger, anxiety and think the trigger is the cause or that is who I am the schemas become more powerful. Even in therapy or support groups we can find ourselves identifying with the suffering and finding strategies to avoid pain, but never really change the pattern or recover from the trauma.

My entire life I have been at war with myself. Shame and attachment trauma have been so difficult to understand. Something to fight and cover up. Your video is very helpful in my effort to stop fighting those parts of me. The clarity of your message has been helping me to return to myself from the clouds. There may be a long way to go but it finally feel like I’m making progress.

Sorry for such a long note, I didn’t have time to write a shorter one (MT)...

Dean

[ddmc]

Thank you! I've been involved in various modalities of therapy for many years. Most recently, my therapist and I have been doing parts work (and some EMDR). I've never before felt it "working" as I do now. The concept is not always easy to grasp so I was very happy to find your videos. You offer clarity, explanation, and hope that I'm on the right track. I've had a family member tell me "Well, MY therapist doesn't think much of EMDR and parts work." At first, I was really annoyed as it felt like just another attack on my attempts to become healthy and whole. But now, I'm just thankful that I've come to know my therapist and these modalities and can actually feel the difference. I've got a long way to go and sometimes it feels brutal, but it offers strength, stability and hope. These are things I haven't felt for so long I had given up.
Anyway, thank you again for these videos and all of your work! It means the world to many of us! 🤗

[MarinSofin]

I'm 32, a former addict been clean for a year +, I'm looking to get back to therapy this time using the IFS model. I still haven't heard someone explain it that well, I'm starting IFS therapy next week and so excited ! Thank you for the informative and beautifully explained playlist you made about the topic. You're the reason I'm going back to therapy❤

[theologytherapist]

Tori, your gentleness is so inviting. I took an IFS training and it was so confusing that it was off putting. But whenever I’ve implemented parts language into my sessions with clients it’s been impressive how powerful it has been.

[kristensarajlic]

I almost skipped this video because I already know what IFS is, but I'm VERY glad I didn't. You see, while some parts of me feel like IFS makes so much sense, at least one part of me is skeptical and tends to look for more 'scientific' explanations of things. I love the way you explained exactly how IFS makes sense in a scientific way, and I want to go back and listen to this again but take notes this time so I can remind that part (or those parts?) when they try to dissuade me from continuing with IFS therapy. I also just love the way you explain things overall, and the amazing level of compassion in your voice and the things you say. Thank you so much for doing what you do and for creating these videos.

[stargazerastrology]

Thank you for this series! I've been doing IFS therapy and I've really struggled to try and explain it to my husband. I'm going to send him this series instead.

[mairajorbagaldos]

Just sent this video to a client who has never heard of parts. I am moved almost to tears to have your very clear and understandable video available to introduce such an important concept to people. I love your tone, the way you do it and the credibility that you back yourself up with. Thanks a million.

[CyanideEuphoria]

She has an incredible way of making very complex concepts easy to digest. There is no decoding necessary. I love her videos

[HarmonyLotus]

I'm listening to this and wondering how I'm only hearing about this now. It makes so much sense! I have a very strong inner critic which causes me to work very hard without any sense of achievement. It leaves me feeling constantly anxious, then tired. The parts model really connects with me and I'd like to learn more. You have explained it very well Dr Tori.

[harmonywest]

I am new to IFS and your videos are clear, inspiring and healing. Thank you Tori for sharing with such sweet eloquence. Your style of teaching is calm, kind and reassuring.

[theodora]

The "dropping IQ" part literally got MY JAW ON THE FLOOR. Like what... it was not just a feeling of "being dumber" around my dad, my brain just protected me by conditioning itself?? Thank you and bless you for this video