Friends Gets Therapized - Chandler and Monica's Massages

Friends Gets Therapized Chandler and Monica's Massages //

How do you tell someone you love something that is going to be difficult for them to hear? Watch this video as Chandler and Monica from Friends get therpaized.

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[trinaq]

My favourite Mondler moment is when Chandler tells Monica that he doesn't mind her high maintenance tendancies, since he likes maintaining her. Aww, that just melted my heart. 😍♥️

[Surfer]

Also, some background on the character Monica: she has a mother that loved Ross (the first born, the one with the complicated birth, the miracle child, the son, the "genius", the "doctor", the first to get married, the first to give grandbabies). So Monica always received more criticism than unconditional love (the type of love that Ross gets from their mother). She always needed to prove herself. Being "not the best" made her feel like she's a failure.

[wijcik]

The worst part is that Chandler's "the best bad massage" speech would work on me and my husband has used a similar tactic with other things on me. I felt so loved by that!

[trinaq]

While Monica and Chandler are a healthy, happy couple, even they're not without their problems. Still, they learn to work through them and communicate their wants and needs, which makes them far more grounded than Ross and Rachel.

[ladymeldiriel]

Phoebe is my favourite female character, probably my favourite out of all the friends. She's genuinely sweet and kind but still manages to communicate important information without needlessly hurting people. For a character who has been through hell as a child, she's probably the healthiest character, mentally speaking.

[poulomi__hari]

Mondler is my fav couple. I love all their moments. But the one (actually two) I specifically adore is the one where Monica buys really expensive boots and they wreck her feet, and then Chandler carries her for 10 blocks. They bicker like besties and it doesn't look outright romantic, but isn't that the most romantic thing a man would ever do for a woman?
The other time I loved their chemistry, was when Monica was singing and people were enjoying her see through shirt. So Chandler comes up on the stage, tells her the truth, and when she isn't fazed about it, he stays next to her quietly (although disappointed), but in a way protecting her. Chandler lets her be, lets her shine however she wants. He never enforces his ideas over her. And I so adore it when Chandler is right.

[kmjc]

Jonathan should definitely react to Monica and Richard. There's a lot to unpack there, between their age difference and them breaking up because they want different things in their lives. I wonder if he thinks they could've made it work or if ending the relationship really was the best option.

[GlindaGoodvitch]

Such a great way to put that! though I would point out that some people use "just being ohnest" to be a complete jerk and any negative response from you is turned into "well do you want me to lie to you?" or "I'm just keeping it real" as if they diddnt just deliberately hurt your feelings for things you either cant help or make up a part of who you are fundamentally.

[avni]

Can you pls do a video on "WHAT IT IS TO BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF"?

[katemiller]

Funnily, I had my first ever massage done by a ‘professional’ last week and was unable to sleep or sit without pain in my lower back for days. I feel Chandler’s pain. Also, I was very, very truthful about my feelings 😂

[bef]

Massages are something that can be worked on! "Can you do a flat palm? Could you go lighter?" Before my marriage, I would give massages to everyone just to practice. My husband loves them! And he'll communicate with me when I'm doing it wrong. I also constantly ask for feedback. (Sorry if that's TMI). When I communicate, I'm more like Phoebe, but I have more of Monica's sensitivity to criticism. I've learned to work around it this way. Were I in Monica's shoes, I'd ask Phoebe to give me lessons, find out what Chandler's fave essential oils are, and do some reading on different techniques.

[Zazabazaa]

I find that the criticism sandwich is really helpful. A compliment then a criticism then a compliment. Or even just a compliment after a criticism, cuz the biggest issue with receiving negative comments is the anxiety that comes after, how your brain can take it and turn on you in an unproductive way. So in order to take criticism better, you often need something to even things out, something to help you cope so you can move forward.

You can even see it in the clip, where Chandler says Monika's the best at giving terrible massages. It's not about her ignoring her problems or just being stupid, it's about her finding a way to cope with the huge amount of insecurity she has due to feeling inadequate her entire life so that she can move forward. You know you've found a big green flag in a partner when they see that and help you find a solution or give you some comfort so it hurts less, instead of doing nothing or worse, actively undermine your anxiety. Look for a Chandler, in this situation.

[KatrinaTapio]

Your points about honesty just hit home so good, this is exactly why I never told my parents anything at all during teenage, even hiding my severe depression to such a point as allowing it to develop into actual psychosis and even getting convicted for crime and taking many more years after rehabilitation before being able to truly speak to my parents again. It is horrific how people still seem to think that lecturing will do anything at all to help, it usually does the opposite (encouraging defiance). A more understanding and helpful approach (which I thankfully got by educated adults as a juvenile) will do so much more. I actually think the attitudes of my "keepers" did a better influence on me than even the best psychologists they got. Nowadays I am a normal working person, getting an education, trying to improve my life like many others.

[GemR]

I'm very lucky in that with my best friend we can tell each other everything, even the brutal honesty that is unpleasant sometimes. Because we both know each other so well we know that these things are said out of care because they needed to heard. She is the one who I can go to if I ever need to question my thinking or behaviour and I trust she'll tell me if I was in the wrong. We keep each other grounded.

[alexp]

Have you considered reacting to the episode where Buffy is therapised by a psychology student vampire?

[AlienAteIt.MyNoraTees]

I remember "bye bye, muscles".

[georginacopley-taylor]

These videos really make my day. It would be absolutely amazing to see you talk about sibling relationships between twins in Gravity Falls

[rozediana]

2:08 NEVER press on the spine directly during a massage 😱

[capybaragames]

This reminds me of my relationship. I have a open and honest policy with people where I don't hide anything even my feelings. When my partner does something that annoys me or something I don't like, I'll speak to them in private about it but I'll also go into that conversation looking to see what has caused that annoyance NOT to blame my partner for anything. I'll go into it prepared to blame myself as well. A lot of the time my partner did nothing wrong and I only got annoyed because of personal issues. That conversation is always important no matter the outcome as it allows both myself and my partner to be open and honest with each other about anything. Over time both myself and my partner have used this technique. I have even thanked my partner for bringing up things that I do which annoy them as it's allowed me to learn and grow as a person. From this we have learned so much about each other and we have come to terms with our differences and compromised so we can both live together without getting annoyed with each other. We now both know what each other does that makes us upset, mad, and/or annoyed and we just laugh about them now, even bringing up what we both perceive as each other's flaws with family and friends as if we were talking about endearing traits that we have. We've only been together 3 years but with this technique, we accepted each other's flaws a long time ago and now talk about the those flaws pridefully with each other and just have a good laugh about it.

[elizabethbrown]

I've learned to try and be honest about the effects of something on me. Then it doesn't come across as critical. E.g. if someone drives too fast insteadbof saying "you are driving too fast, slow down' rather say "I'm feeling a bit sick or uncomfortable, would you mind slowing down a bit ' then they don't feel judged or blamed.