Friends Gets Therapized - Rachel Asks Ross To Be Her Backup

Friends Gets Therapized - Rachel Asks Ross To Be Her Backup //

Have you ever made the marriage pact with someone, promising you'll get married later in life if you're both still single? Watch this video as Ross and Rachel get therapized with the marriage backup pact.

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[trinaq]

I remember watching "My Best Friend's Wedding", where Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney made a pact in college to marry each other if both were still single at 28. All I could think was "That still seems insanely young, there's no need to rush into a commitment like this."

[CarlinRobbins]

In regards to surprise proposals, an idea I read and liked was that you should already both know that you want to be married, discussed it, and maybe even picked rings, but the date and time of the actual proposal is still a surprise. (worked for my relationship anyway..)

[michelealoia]

Im 52 and single and I am so happy about it. I dated 2 very toxic men had a child with one but truly believe what you said. Being alone is so much better than being with the wrong person I'm happier now than I have ever been in my life. I have 3 beautiful grandchildren and great friends.

[hannahbradshaw]

My parents were pulling an all-nighter for an assignment at uni and were a bit tipsy. They made a contract saying they'd get married if they weren't married by 40 I believe. They were just friends at the time but now they're married 😂 They found it in an old book decades later and had 0 recollection of writing it 😂

[suzanneevans]

This is the first time I’ve heard anyone else say that surprise proposals are a bad idea. I’ve long been against the idea and been called unromantic and a kill joy, but you’re making such an important decision, and you just wouldn’t do anything else of such import, like deciding to buy a house or start a business on a moment’s notice.

[farahbilal]

"There is no true security outside of yourself"
👌🔥

[JohnWilliams-crsz]

I actually had a backup deal with a friend of mine, who I actually had a huge crush on, so when she floated the idea I happily agreed, and thought that hey, she might have a thing for me too, maybe we can give it a shot when she gets home (she was working overseas at the time)
Of course, she then met a guy, fell hard, and is happily married to him. So, bit of a bummer for me even though I am super happy for her.

[citizencalmar]

I'm no expert on any of this--I'm 42, and not only am I still single, I don't even know anyone who would want me even as their backup--but I've always been firmly against the idea of surprise proposals. I think of proposing marriage the same way lawyers think about cross examining a witness; don't ask the question unless you already know what the answer is. Marriage is a huge step, and it needs to be decided on through serious, sober, adult conversation. Not through an unexpected elaborate gesture designed to make the other person feel like they have to accept because you put so much effort into it.

[leena]

They still remain the most toxic relationship on friends

[NabiYun]

I completely agree that before proposing you should already have talked at length with your partner about what you want in life, how you see your future and even if marriage is what you both want. However, I do like the idea of the actual proposal being a surprise, once you both agree it's what you both want and are ready for. The partner should know it's coming at some point, but I love the idea of the timing still being a surprise e.g. the partner thinks it's going to happen on New Years Eve, you propose in summer while on a trip :)

[InThisEssayIWill...]

So.. platonic life partners is definitely a thing. Big Ace community energy. FYI.

[katbh]

I think every person and every couple is different. It depends on what you each want in a marriage, too. Marrying for love is quite a recent concept -- if you're happy without romantic love, I would think that marrying a friend and building a successful life with them could be perfectly fulfilling.

[nicoledonaldson]

Honestly a back up sounds like security. As an asexual, it took me a long time to find out what my love style was since I wasn't drawn to people like everyone else. It's hard to find someone that I trust enough because of all the expectations in society that don't prioritize my needs or happiness. A back up in my case would probably be more akin to a life long best friend than a romantic partner. I'm not necessarily attracted to them but I would be happy to live with them and share my life with them. I would never go into a relationship like this without an out though. For the both of us. Which can also be said for romantic relationships. If things change in our lives then we must adapt. And if parting ways is how it ends up. Then I hope its on good terms.

[CJ_]

I had a backup. In our early twenties my best friend and I agreed, only half jokingly, to marry if at 40 we were both single (his idea). We are both happily married to others now, and those others are better fits for us, but we were very intellectually and emotionally intimate and had shared values. We weren't incompatible... we just lacked chemistry and may have had challenges with some of our flaws. I believe our deep friendship and respect could have been the foundation for a strong marriage had we found ourselves alone, though our current partners are certainly better. I suspect backups rarely work in reality.

[FedericoVetencourt]

About the surprise Proposal I think you can have both, my wife used to ask me all of those things when we were living together as a couple but I always ended up the conversation with "but this might not happen so soon, ok? I still think we need to see if living together works" and when I proposed she was so surprised she started crying and told me she never saw it coming.

[emilylamarca]

"being alone is better than being with thf wrong person" is ultimately where I've landed. I was widowed 5 years ago at 35 and have dated intermittently for a little over a year. I'm picky and cautious but I'd rather be alone than partner with someone solely to avoid loneliness.

[pianoface]

I've been told I'm a backup by several people in one way or another and it's not a great feeling. I'd rather spend my time with someone who chooses me because of who I am and not a lack of better options

[s-kay-t]

My friend and his best friend have a pact that if neither of them is married by the time they are 40, they will hunt each other down for sport. Ngl, I like that solution better.

[thesmething]

I sort of feel a bit sad for the people who have backups. Who knows though, maybe I've got it all wrong. I'm 29 and I've been in 2 long term relationships for a total of 10 years of my life. Pretty much nonstop since I was 16. The last 3 years is the longest I've ever been single. I've truly never felt so happy in my life. Paradoxically I feel less lonely now than I've done most of my life and I think it's because I've never been this close to myself before. It's different for everyone, but I think I'm happiest when I'm single. I'm not 100% against the idea of a relationship if I fell in love with the right person but I have no intention of looking 🤷‍♀️

[LostSleepFoundSheep]

My husband and I talked about marriage for several months, getting more and more serious about it, but we still wanted to keep each other on edge, so as we got closer and closer he'd pretend he didn't have the ring and I'd pretend I wouldn't say yes. On the trip when he proposed it turned out he was so nervous to ask and be turned down that I thought he was breaking up with me 🤣 . It turned out okay and now we have a story to tell, but underneath the nerves, we both knew we were serious 💙