What if There's Nothing Wrong With You | Susan Henkels | TEDxSedona

We often design our lives around a long list of all the things we believe are wrong with us. The premise of this presentation questions our interpretation of right and wrong and how that interpretation ultimately determines how we decide who we will become as adults, how we choose our important relationships, how we pick our professions, how or if we parent, and what determines the quality of the life we choose. This presentation is a discovery toward what's in the way of having the life you deserve and an easier and more fun way of getting there. You will find ways of releasing judgment and criticism of yourself, begin to consider forgiveness of yourself and others, start making wiser choices, and expand your passion for contribution. Asking the question: What if there's nothing wrong with you?....... can become an ongoing practice for life." usan Munich Henkels. M.S.W is a psychotherapist focused on resolving relationship issues with yourself, your partner, families, family business and organizations. She is committed to clear and honest communication for the best possible outcomes. She is a graduate of the University of Michigan and received a Masters’ degree in Social Work from the George Warren Brown School of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis, MO.

Susan is also an avid colored pencil artist with a passion for drawing trees and the magic they hold. She has many original drawings in private and public collections and has shown at the Sedona Arts Center and several international and national colored pencil exhibitions.

[sarahdubois]

My most favorite quote "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete" -buddha

[bsimpson]

“...create an entire life around decisions we made when we were probably five years old.”
😲
She nailed that one.

[surlespasdondine]

I was told I was "impossible" as a child. Only now learning there was nothing wrong with me at all.

[purplepepper]

After years of beating myself up over my insecurities, this TED talk has been a balm. What if there's nothing wrong with me?
I always thought there was something wrong, and I never knew why. But then maybe there never was. After hearing this talk and thinking about it, there isn't anything wrong with me or anyone.
And I dunno, I just got so mad. What made me feel this way in the first place? And then I remember, it's my Mom. And I was so mad until I remembered, it was her Mom too who influenced her to be that way.

I hope that in the future, we become better parents to our kids and better people to each other. Words alone can really tear a person down. But acceptance like that can really build someone up. Thanks for the talk, lady.

(Also, for the first time in forever, this is a proper comment without panicking. I guess there's really nothing wrong with me or anyone. We're all just afraid, maybe. Of not being good enough.)

[vivianeb]

At first I was a little confused. "There is nothing wrong with you." As soon as I heard that I was thinking: if I told myself this everyday and believed it then would I still be able to accept criticism from others? Would I still be able to reflect on my actions and better myself? I would turn into an arrogant snob because I would believe that I am perfect!


But then I thought about it for a bit. I already have a hard time accepting criticism because I am so hard on myself, nobody is harder on me than myself and when another person comes along it is like an extra beating on top of my self-inflicted bruises. I can't control others, but I can control myself. With more forgiveness and more faith in myself I would be able to take criticism because I would be more confident and would have more strength to do so. I would still be able to reflect on my actions because I am confident enough to actually do something about my flaws.


Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Susan.

[AmbiCahira]

The road to forgive yourself is to set up a rule that you only permit thoughts that are the same kindness and compassion as you would say to a best friend or stranger in your shoes. If it would be considered bullying if you said it to someone else then you don't deserve it either. You can never be happy with a bully living rent free in your head so you need to evict it. Don't treat yourself worse than you treat a stranger.

This talk was lovely. <3

[nadjaandersen]

What a wonderful woman. I love how she shows vulnerability and strength all at once. Inspiring and freeing words of wisdom.

[Vecio.Nandes]

I really paused the talk to give myself a deep immersion in this advice:
"The only little trick here is: you have to get rid of all judgement and criticism about yourself" (10:42)

[jessa.]

This was a direct hit for me! I've been mentally sabotaging myself all my life. I will try to treat myself better everyday! ❤

[charmedprince]

I wish you a long long life, madam! this world need you badly in these dark times

[crystellesaleh]

Susan Henkels, I doubt you will ever know how far-reaching and profound the impact of your words will be, how many people may be affected by the people who were affected by you. I do think you've done something that will outlive you. Thank you. - From a psychology student who will never forget what you've said here.

[candanozer]

Being self sabotaging is the most dangerous problem...

[ytamic]

I was beaten by my parents when I did something ‘wrong’ and ‘unacceptable’, this stays with me and I have been critical about myself. Until recently, my life coach told me if I can’t forgive myself, no one else can. This video completely explained the message I long for too. Thank you.

[Zimmejay]

My Dad died a week ago today. This talk came to me at the right time. We were heavily abused.
I have a laundry list of self criticisms, shame, with CPTSD
He was a tough guy to love - but he worked hard to support us. It is very difficult to know how to feel about anything. Thank you for your insight.

[Mtnnaturegal]

RIP Susan. Grateful to have had the pleasure of working with you while living in Sedona. In this video she said she wanted to create something that can outlive her. Well this is a message that will go on and on and help many more people for years to come.

[abdul]

Reminds me of a quote by Veronika Tugaleva "Realize, first and foremost, that you are not flawed"

[kimjohnson]

The most valuable lesson I've learned is that it's okay not to be okay. The second most valuable...So what? Now what?

[tierrapetersen]

This is so beautiful in a day and age where so many people are making a living off of what we should be, how we should think, what we should do and it usually comes down to what we should buy.

[candykandy]

I was given a whole list of insults -mostly by my mother alone, both growing up and
today. These talks and meditation for self love taught me there’s nothing wrong with me- ITS HER ISSUE

[niaonthego]

Today is my birthday. im on a week vacation and yet im not really happy. I started thinking of all the bad things about me. all the bad things that might happened to me after this or that decision and now im going back home tomorrow and it feels like this vacation just went by like it was nothing. I love the last part "Just for today what if there's nothing wrong with you and live through that possibility". It is indeed a gift. Thank you Susan. I will try to do that and for those who are reading this my light may not be as bright as everyone else but i hope this post will light yours a little more brightly.