What do your table manners say about you? | BBC Ideas

From elbows on the table to slurping your noodles, here's how to navigate eating and dining etiquette, some table manners do's and don'ts around the world, and more on why table manners matter.

Made by Preston Street Films.

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[ernestabor]

Table manners differs based on cultures and it should be respected when in eating, showing respects to the host and food

[sachin]

Table Manners according to Wikipedia:

Traditionally in Western Europe, the host or hostess takes the first bite[citation needed] unless he or she instructs otherwise. The host begins after all food for that course has been served and everyone is seated. In religious households, a family meal may commence with saying grace, or at dinner parties the guests might begin the meal by offering some favorable comments on the food and thanks to the host. In a group dining situation it is considered impolite to begin eating before all the group have been served their food and are ready to start.

Napkins should be placed on the lap and not tucked into clothing. They should not be used for anything other than wiping your mouth and should be placed unfolded on the seat of your chair should you need to leave the table during the meal or placed unfolded on the table when the meal is finished.[1]

The fork is held with the left hand and the knife held with the right. The fork is held generally with the tines down[citation needed], using the knife to cut food or help guide food on to the fork. When no knife is being used, the fork can be held with the tines up. With the tines up, the fork balances on the side of the index finger, held in place with the thumb and index finger. Under no circumstances should the fork be held like a shovel, with all fingers wrapped around the base. A single mouthful of food should be lifted on the fork and you should not chew or bite food from the fork. The knife should be held with the base into the palm of the hand, not like a pen with the base resting between the thumb and forefinger. The knife must never enter the mouth or be licked.[1][reliable source??] When eating soup, the spoon is held in the right hand and the bowl tipped away from the diner, scooping the soup in outward movements. The soup spoon should never be put into the mouth, and soup should be sipped from the side of the spoon, not the end.[2] Food should always be chewed with the mouth closed.[3] Talking with food in one's mouth is seen as very rude.[1] Licking one's fingers and eating slowly can also be considered impolite.

Food should always be tasted before salt and pepper are added. Applying condiments or seasoning before the food is tasted is viewed as an insult to the cook, as it shows a lack of faith in the cook's ability to prepare a meal.[4]

Butter should be cut, not scraped, from the butter dish using a butter knife or side plate knife and put onto a side plate, not spread directly on to the bread. This prevents the butter in the dish from gathering bread crumbs as it is passed around. Bread rolls should be torn with the hands into mouth-sized pieces and buttered individually, from the butter placed on the side plate, using a knife. Bread should not be used to dip into soup or sauces. As with butter, cheese should be cut and placed on your plate before eating.

Only white wine or rosé is held by the stem of the glass; red by the bowl.[citation needed] Pouring one's own drink when eating with other people is acceptable, but it is more polite to offer to pour drinks to the people sitting on either side.[1] Wine bottles should not be upturned in an ice bucket when empty.

It is impolite to reach over someone to pick up food or other items. Diners should always ask for items to be passed along the table to them.[1] In the same vein, diners should pass those items directly to the person who asked.[4] It is also rude to slurp food, eat noisily or make noise with cutlery.

Elbows should remain off the table.

When one has finished eating, this should be communicated to other diners and waiting staff by placing the knife and fork together on the plate, at approximately 6 o'clock position, with the fork tines facing upwards.

At family meals, children are often expected to ask permission to leave the table at the end of the meal.

Should a mobile telephone (or any other modern device) ring or if a text message is received, the diner should ignore the call. In exceptional cases where the diner feels the call may be of an urgent nature, they should ask to be excused, leave the room and take the call (or read the text message) out of earshot of the other diners. Placing a phone, keys, handbag or wallet on the dinner table is considered rude.[citation needed
Modern etiquette provides the smallest numbers and types of utensils necessary for dining. Only utensils which are to be used for the planned meal should be set. Even if needed, hosts should not have more than three utensils on either side of the plate before a meal. If extra utensils are needed, they may be brought to the table along with later courses.[5]



Table Manners in the Nursery, from a 1916 magazine article from the United States

A tablecloth extending 10–15 inches past the edge of the table should be used for formal dinners, while placemats may be used for breakfast, lunch, and informal suppers.[6] Candlesticks, even if not lit, should not be on the table while dining during daylight hours.[7] At some restaurants, women may be asked for their orders before men.

Men's and unisex hats should never be worn at the table. Ladies' hats may be worn during the day if visiting others.[8]

Phones and other distracting items should not be used at the dining table. Reading at a table is permitted only at breakfast, unless the diner is alone.[9] Urgent matters should be handled, after an apology, by stepping away from the table.

If food must be removed from the mouth for some reason—a pit, bone, or gristle—the rule of thumb according to Emily Post, is that it comes out the same way it went in. For example, if olives are eaten by hand, the pit may be removed by hand. If an olive in a salad is eaten with a fork, the pit should be deposited back onto the fork inside one's mouth, and then placed onto a plate. The same applies to any small bone or piece of gristle in food. A diner should never spit things into a napkin, certainly not a cloth napkin. Since the napkin is always laid in the lap and brought up only to wipe one's mouth, hidden food may be accidentally dropped into the lap or onto the host's floor. Food that is simply disliked should be swallowed.[10]

The fork may be used in the American style (in the left hand while cutting and in the right hand to pick up food) or the European Continental style (fork always in the left hand). (See Fork etiquette) The napkin should be left on the seat of a chair only when leaving temporarily.[11] Upon leaving the table at the end of a meal, the napkin is placed loosely on the table to the left of the plate.[12]

[abdelrahmanosama]

I like the way you do when you gather people from many different cultures

[BenNeedsAThemeaDream]

Hahaha I love the faded manners rant at the end

[Theakashdeep]

plot twist : I still sit on the floor with my family to eat.

I am not poor though, just a habit.

[PepperPengu]

Its interesting how opposite the table manners are in my culture

[winrijithk]

*All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players*
-by Mr. Will

[TheTEAR]

Remembering the most hungry people on the dining table is the best rule can be practise

[roxanadelacruz]

In all cultures are different table manners, but all have something in common: left-handed people are considered dirty and bad.
Sorry, but I prefer following the table manners of the people if I'm not eating in my house... I don't want to suffer discrimination just for eating.

[grahampalmer]

Respectfully mimic your hosts. In that way all should go well. Good eating everyone.

[pt]

So elbow on table or not on table? Which is correct?

[Tanath]

I did not get a good sense of why they matter from this.

[familytoon]

please can anyone tell me what does it mean when they said "In medieval times, when tables were simply boards balanced over trestles, it avoided tipping the long table and gave room to your neighbour" I didn't understand it avoided tipping the long table

[sheerajzakir]

Always try and match your eating pace with others.

[shadfrigui]

I hate it when people make noise while eating! I hate the chewing noise, and I just can't eat next to a "noisy-eater" person.

[ЕкатеринаКобзева-мн]

Me is the person who doesn't have such official meals so I don't need these rules when I eat home. No one of my family follows them.

[willlexie]

Who eats pizza with a fork and a knife? I wanna find ya!

[editorjohn]

The worst is blowing the nose at the table. It's disgusting. Thanks to the coronavirus for letting us know how bad this habit is!!!!

[DarkShroom]

since the 50s normal people have abandoned table manners, they only exist at the BBC and the deep south of America, in general places where they think they have some sort of culture or something (which they don't) .... i blame films like Gone With the Wind