The Babylon Bee Presents: Our 100% Accurate Predictions For 2024

The Babylon Bee has been known to accurately predict the future. We have a better batting average than Benny Hinn, Nostradamus, and your local weatherman combined. So sit back and relax as we tell you with 100% certainty everything that's going to happen in 2024.

#comedy #prepping #babylonbee

[MusicalGeniusBar]

Used to be a comedy channel, now it’s just a history channel

[farmtutor]

Biden becomes the first female president after announcing his struggle to embrace his true identity. Sniffs his own hair.

[rahn]

"US sends 1 trillion dollars in aid to country most Americans can't find on a map."
"US inexplicably prints 1 trillion dollars."
"On an unrelated note, the price of gas skyrockets to 100 dollars per gallon; ushering a new surge of EV purchases."
"Power grid collapses for unknown reasons."

[cmahar]

Rachel Levine wins Babylon Bee's Man Of The Year award for a third year in a row!

[rlm]

😂😆🤣 global warming causes warm temperatures for three months for some reason! My favorite! 😅

[BESmith-mszm]

I remember the good old days when the Bee would do satire.

[dougearnest]

My prediction for 2024: Babylon Bee unable to come up with anything as absurd as what the Democrats are doing for real. (Oh wait -- that's an old one. Never mind.)

[RLaraMoore]

"The population of Mexico reached zero"
😂🤣

[homesteadgamer]

These are so normal for this absolutely absurd era that I would be more surprised if these did not come true.

[joshuabessire]

I predict that no one will live up to that promise to move to Canada.

[dougearnest]

Aiden will be taxed for the cool stick he found. Aiden takes his case to the Supreme Court, which will refuse to consider the case because it lacks standing in cases of "found stuff" like cool sticks and fraudulent ballots.

[karlostj]

California introduces an "Exit Tax" (aka, the "Ransom Tax"): All non-Californians wishing to leave California must pay 1% of their net wealth before being allowed to leave.

[benjaminmatute]

“God sends a asteroid to get rid of California” So true.

[iamarawn]

Every prediction is reasonable. Like every MSM outlet calling the Iowa caucus after 0.1% of the votes being counted (that actually happened)

[jameshankel]

Nearly died laughing when he said Donald Trump destroys Hillary Clinton's final horcrux. That is grade A comedy right there.

[theheavyartillery]

I absolutely lost it at "Obama comes out as even gayer"

[tgere]

I'm 100% certain their predictions will all be dead on.

[ShewasIwas-biden]

This is unnerving considering The Bees track record😳

[defectiveindustries]

I'm looking forward to Aiden finding that stick

[Tempestan]

I want to hear more about this cool stick that will be found.