Why don’t many Muslim men marry single mothers, widows etc?

[seriously]

When I was a child (before I converted to Islam) my mother had 4 children and married my stepfather who had none. He treated us like his children and legally adopted all of us. He is the one I call Dad. He was the best husband to my mother. I have yet to see or hear of a better man. Sadly he's not Muslim.

[vlinderjte]

wallah you really spoke. I have also been married young but still do not know what marriage is. He has left me with a child and NEVER cared for his child and no contact with his child at all. She is now 13 years old, she knows who her father is but never calls her. Unfortunately. I am still alone 14 years later. I think that's a pity. I'm 36 now and I still hope to get married someday. Please make a Dua for me. Don't want to be alone anymore

[nafisrahman]

I think this problem is not just a problem coming from the males, but generally it is something that the guys family will be totally against too and will actively try to prevent them and talk them out of doing this, if it was encouraged or even not looked down upon by family then I think more males will be open to do this.

[ahsandanish]

Assalam o Alaikum! I am single never married and Alhamdulillah I am going to marry a single mother.

[slovelyyx]

I totally understand why most single men who’ve never been married prefer to marry virgin women, or at least women without children. Marrying a divorced person typically does come with baggage, whether you admit it or not and if they have children it’s even more baggage you’re forced to deal with and a headache on top of that. Childless women generally also want childless men as well btw, virgin women want virgin men. I’ve never been married before, and I don’t think I would ever consider marrying a man with kids unless my options have dramatically decreased and I literally have no other choice. I’m 22 now and I don’t have any kids . Why would I choose to get stuck taking care of another woman’s children instead of my own. My first option will always be a virgin man whose first time getting married is with me so that we can experience life, love and joy TOGETHER. I don’t want someone who’s already experienced marriage, sex and kids with another woman. Maybe I would consider them in a rare occasion, but again it wouldn’t be my first choice. I’ve waited a long time, i want the same out of my partner. Inshallah Allah grants me a spouse who is the same as me

I don’t think it’s messed up at all to have that preference and it’s perfectly reasonable and makes sense, as long as you are bringing the same to the table. To those who want to take on somebody with children, good for them. Nothing wrong with it at all. But they shouldn’t be forced into it either, or shamed for not wanting to do so.

[Yuna-fojs]

a single mother can be just as good of a wife as a virgin could be. i for myself was married 7 years and unfortunately got cheated on, when my baby was only 3months old. it broke me cause I was always taking care of the house and my husband, was always faithful and even left my homecountry for him. but he had nothing better to do than cheat on me as soon as we were in the us. i left the states to go back to my family and friends. up to this day I'm still taking care of my beautiful son whos now 13 and I couldn't be more proud of him. unfortunately my ex husband doesn't care about his son at all.but I have moved on and learned from the past. i just think we as single mothers shouldn't be judged in a certain way in the possibility to find a honest, faithful and hardworking man.

[hakimarifin]

I married a widow, it's been a seven blessed year. I am 10 years younger. Been doing the Sunnah everyday, washing dishes, cooking, washing clothes.

[ellol]

So long as the woman has deen and obeys her husband I don't care if she's divorced or a single mother or whatever. I would take a single mother who has deen and is obedient and appreciate the husband 100 times than a rebellious, deenless virgin who'll make your life a living hell.

[THq]

A solution for single mothers/divorcee/widows is polygamy. They could become 2nd, 3rd, 4th woman of a stable and righteous man. It was made for that in the first place.

Now I wonder how single mothers/ divorcees/widows feel about that?

[Alexander]

I always find it interesting that whenever men have preferences they are crucified, yet women can have a list a mile long.

Everyone always asks men what they bring to the table-what do women bring to the table?

[nouralbirtani]

you missed a important key point brother Gab. which is there are different categories for single mothers...(A) A sister oppressed by her husband and was forced to leave and is a single mother....(B) A sister who's had a bad promiscuous past and had children out of wedlock. and is a single mother.
(C) An ungrateful woman who left her husband even though she had it all but thought the grass is greener on the other side and is a single mother.

So my point here is that all single mothers are not the same.

My advice is to avoid option B and C like a plague because it will be an utter disaster. I don't see an issue with marrying a sister like option A hope that makes sense.

[layla]

Im so sad because my mom is a divorcee, we are all young adult daughters now and my dad failed us and my mom is so tired of working, she wants to be a housewife and have someone take care of her, shes an amazing person and beautiful too, but she has to be in this situation and im a student i cant even help her at all, shes a revert as well so her family doesn't help her (in european culture once youre an adult u dont live with family or get help like this) i wish someone would be with her and take this burden off of her inshaAllah

[magdalenalawniczak]

Im a recent revert and it actually makes me laugh 😂 I'm divorced single mum with kids and I never felt better, happier and closer to Allah ❤ if a man doesn't want to marry me then don't bother, I'm so happy myself, having already many interests and hobbies and loving people around me! 🙏 you take your way and peace be upon you

[yo-ma]

I would marry a non virgin as long as she lost her virginity/ made love in a halal way. Single mothers I would marry as long as she is younger then me, the child is still very young, and the man is dead. Sorry that is the best I can do.

[MartellThaCool]

This is shocking to see muslim women are becoming single mothers. 😰

[truthseeker]

Don't forget that western men will date those woman first without marrying them and after a few months or years after making sure she is able to pair bobd and she's the right fit for him, they will marry them so it's really different than Muslims who who can date or sleep with women before marriage. So you're comparison bro is unfair.

So many Muslim men don't wanna take that risk to marry a single mothers or divorcee, specially that men have to pay Mahar (dowry). So it's really a financial risk. So please don't push the men to do something that they don't want.

[Kichidakatsumi]

My cousin married a mother of one and she's his only wife. Mashallah

[mshaznushbafsin]

thanks for talking about this, few talk about this. It's sad many muslim single mothers who cannot feel like a women and be intimate with a man sinply because they were divorced. InshAllah people will start to see the good in these women. But on the flip side a complain to women teh feministic type out there, specially if they are very good looking they want the best looking guy or richest man and they they keep searching until they are in their in mid 30's and now they are ready to compromise when its too late (This is more with those with weaker imaan)

[nudra]

After my difforce, i am now 11 years a single mom. I have conferted 20 years ago and feel very alone these years without a islamic man beside me. But i never succeeded to marry ahain with a brother that is caring abouth us....Alhamdulilah, Allah swt knows what is best for us...

[AllahuAkbaruKabirah]

my step dad married my mom when she was divorced with 2 daughters and he was the best man to my mother and the best father to us and still Alhamdulillah

now we are old but i will never forget how kind and generous he was when we were kids and he still is, he is the best Allahuma Barik, he is a blessing from Allah.

maybe nowdays some people become very selfish they dont think of others strugle and how they can help them for the sake of Allah, women and orphans are both weaks they need help and mercy not insults that "disturbed male" (not MEN) enjoy to say

today you mock other people struggle tomorrow you will fall in Worse kind of it, just wait and you will see (if you don't repent).