What Happened to Marriage?

This young woman seems to have sadness in her eyes as she asks "do men want to get married anymore?"

I think we all feel how badly relationships have degraded, but no one really understands why. The answers are in the changes we made to what used to work. That's called "hubris," - when you believe that you know better than thousands of years of tradition and that your best guess is going to yield better results.

We now live in a state of decay, declining quality of life, and cultural and social collapse, and it's because we were fooled - once again - into thinking that we could change all the rules to be more convenient and empowering and we wouldn't lose anything. In reality, laws, culture, technology, and all forms of change to our systems are like a wish made on a monkey's paw - you might get what you want, but you might not like what it costs.

(I tried making my own background music for this. It'll get better over time)

[glados]

My younger brother and I are trust fund kids. He married his girlfriend while going to med school. After the marriage she changed completely. He was doing his residency and didn't want to deal with it anymore. Filed for divorce, she happily declared she was going to take everything we owned. Reverse uno card. Trust funds are not marital assets, he was a broke med school student and she got nothing.

[graymatters]

My son overheard two high school teachers talking, where he heard one say to the other that they canceled the coding workshop because only boys signed up. Let that sink in.

[BaresarkSlayne]

This is literally my life. I am in the middle of a divorce because my wife got a bit more excitement from some sneaky-fucker at her job, despite me having been there through all the mental bullshit she went through, all the hard times, her extreme anxiety, I make 3 times more than she does... none of that matters when something a bit shinier in the moment comes through. She isn't taking my money, but we had a house that I am losing after putting in a whole lot of work on it, for our family after we moved to a place far away from everyone I knew so we could be closer to her folks (who I do actually care for)... and she could start living her best single life. I just work to remember that she is in reality a horrible person and not the person I met. But it's hard not to look at other women and be like, "you are just like that, aren't you".

[axelmilan]

"How dare men refuse to partake in a game that is obviously rigged against them!"

[markp]

I just tell women this:
would you sing a pre-nup that states that if you get divorced for any reason, you have to pay spousal support, you loose half of you stuff, and if you have kids, he gets custody and child support that he can spend on what ever he wants, so you have to work all week and take care of the kids on the weekend, while she "takes care" of them during the week while they are in school, while living in a house you have to pay for?

If you think that's a bad idea, what your really saying is "I don't want to treated like a man".

[tylerd.]

Would your mother date your father if Tinder existed? That is a fantastic thought experiment.

[thomasclarke]

This is all completely true, but I don't think most women would understand or care.

[cphxc]

I was very fortunate to have an old British lady for a teacher in elementary school who realized that all I needed as a kid to succeed in school was an outlet for my energy.

She told me to just say your using the bathroom and just take a quick walk down the hallways and around the school. Walk fast because people don't think your skipping if you look like you have somewhere to be and it'll let you burn off more energy per trip.

Thanks Mrs Law. Idk what kind of drugs I would have been fed or what kind of trouble I would have gotten in for being male without you.

[willshad]

Modern marriage for men is akin to buying a car from a dealer, and agreeing that the dealer can take the car back any time he wants, for whatever reason he wants, with no refund. Not only that, but you have to PAY him additional money for taking it back. And she really needs to ask if men still want to get married?

[LeonBelmont]

I hate how marriage has turned into an industry. We have people agreeing to vows they will never keep, it's just a complete debauchery of matrimony.

[cormier]

The mom tinder thing hit home. I remember asking my mom when I was young why she married my dad and her response was " it was a small town"

[urielnogales]

This channel helps me keep my sanity. It made me realize that I never had a chance to get what my grandparents had.

[durandus]

I got hit in the head with rebar 12 years ago. I got detention and the kid who hit me didn’t. If you want me to hate you all you have to do is talk about the school system and act like they do a good job.

[ephraimwinslow]

Women systematically stripped away every benefit marriage had for men.

Signing that particular agreement is (for me) the equivalent of buying a timeshare.

[pookatim]

Regarding the "song" you featured, this is a major factor. I am an old man. Here is how life really works. The analogy of the campfire. When you first start a campfire, you use a lot of thin dry wood as "kindling". It burns very fast and very bright. It is exciting! But then, if you let it burn down the main firewood starts to burn slowly. This isn't as exciting but it will burn a long time and provide a lot of warmth and a steady glow. This is how love is. Yeah, in the beginning is the "honeymoon" phase and you can't keep your hands off each other. But if you let it, this will lead to a slow steady burn that sustains you. These women want the honeymoon phase to last forever. It can't. It won't. So then they seek to start another fire with someone else. Rinse and repeat. This is not sustainable. Modern women do not know how to love.

[uke]

I'm a woman. I played it practical. Found a genuine, kind, competent and sweet man who shared my values about God and family and chose to fall in love with him.

It might be true about most women but when I was a young girl I realized I could love just about anybody. I saw it was the commitment that made relationships special, not the emotions. I think when women realize this about themselves they instead get excited about all the conquests before them, it thrills them to feel powerful over men. Possibly.

11 years of marriage and I cannot imagine life without my sweet husband who is as kind and genuine as ever. He has grown so much more into his full potential and has supported me on my journey to reach mine as well.

This society did nothing to encourage my decisions. I feel a bit isolated at times, honestly, but would rather feel a little lonely sometimes than join their delusions and foolishness.

[gerogep]

"Hey, do you want to play a game of chess? I get all queens...

Where are you going?"


That pretty much sums it up. The game is rigged, and 50% of the time, you end up in the divorce slaughterhouse.

No thanks.

[oniarrca]

What's worse than your spouse hiding money to leave?
Her hiding her debt that the family court will FORCE the man to pay for.

[Togotzi]

I was literally suspended for being punched and not retaliating. When we were brought in for conflict resolution, the teacher asked what we learned and I looked her dead in the face and said, ”the next time someone hits me I’m going to hit them back.” She was cool thankfully and thought the punishment was bullshit but had to follow through because it was school policy.

[GiraffeCrab]

When i was at University i had a freind die at the university on his birthday. I was told to just push on and if i worked hard it would help me get over it.

Later met a woman who got a free pass throigh half of the course because she had a freind die 2 years before the course started.

It felt very unfair.