Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up | A Conversation with Abigail Shrier

In their efforts to ensure their children's happiness, a growing number of millennial and Gen X parents are turning to therapists, school psychologists, and other mental health professionals for help. Yet there is mounting evidence that this therapeutic turn has backfired. Rather than inculcate the virtues of self-discipline and independence, these efforts have yielded a generation of children filled with anxiety, isolation, and a profound sense of helplessness—and in her new book "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up," Abigail Shrier explains why.

After speaking with hundreds of parents and adolescents, drawing on psychiatric studies and literature, in addition to her own lived experience with friends and family, Abigail offers a powerful critique of the booming mental health industry, and offers an alternate vision for fostering healthy, hard-working, and resilient children. In this special episode of Manhattan Insights, The Free Press Senior Editor Emily Yoffe (moderator) sits down with Abigail to discuss her findings.

Abigail Shrier is the author of the new book, "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up." She received the Barbara Olson Award for Excellence and Independence in Journalism in 2021. Her best-selling book, "Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters" (2020), was named a “Best Book” by The Economist and the Times (of London). It has been translated into ten languages. She holds an A.B. from Columbia College, where she received the Euretta J. Kellett Fellowship; a B.Phil. from the University of Oxford; and a J.D. from Yale Law School. She has written for the Manhattan Institute’s City Journal for a number of years.

(Recorded on Wednesday, February 28th, 2024)

**Related readings & links**

[WillowT]

They ask parents to leave the room because parents are often the cause of mental health distress. My parents contributed to increasing my anxiety and depression. My parents were neglectful. Parents do not OWN their children. Children are not extensions of the parent. Children are individuals. I am a parent myself. I found thar respecting and trusting my children did wonders to help them grow to independence.

[patriotusall]

Feels good to have my thoughts validated. I'm impressed.

[pertlob]

A lot of obvious issuess but in modern, bizarre world even obvious things can become controversial for some people. I like courageous authors therefore I am going to read the book.

[NealFox]

Instead of "being in touch with your feelings, " you should be practicing creating your feelings. Be Cause instead of Effect.

[dharmaqueen]

It's smart to live with family in the current economy.

[pickleweasel]

In high school we had several bomb threats and we milked every instance of it crying to the teachers about how scared we were, anything to keep classes from resuming and as long as the teachers were eating the bs we fed it to them. This was mid 90s so I can only imagine how kids are able to coordinate crying wolf in the cell phone era...Tom Sawyer on steroids 😂

[robbpowell]

You provided a thought-provoking and helpful survey.

[grawakendream]

what she's saying is music to the ears of obstinate bullies, abusers, rigidly and emotionally blind people who seek to strengthen enablement endorsement from society to to continue to victimize the vulnerable.

it's great to say kids need to grow up, people need to grow out of it and move on, when it's someone else. when it's something she is struggling with and would like support on, i guess that's different. that's the problem with this line of thinking, it's not honest imo

[WillowT]

The unemployment numbers only appear so low. It took my 20 year old son 5 months to find a part time low paying job. Politicians and academics are not in touch with what is really going on.

[DanielRgCrandall]

It turns out… "Growing up is actually the cure for adolescent angst!" (5:35)

[debblouin]

The phone thing: why can’t kids get a non-smartphone with no data, just phone?

[bretho]

Hows the Swedish model that was touted as the way, turning out ? Thanks to the Author for giving this talk. As an employer employing schoolies... this is bang on. Not all kids, but knowing the family backgrounds. The difference is like night and day. ❤

[carlfratus]

No pushback on bad sources? In his book or her last one?

[theroamingsavage]

Unfortunately parents now are BEYOND lazy.
They would rather feed their kids pills than actually enforce boundaries and raise them.

[GratefulOptimist-mvex]

Similarly, children are 'helped' by introducing them to the subject of 'cutting', it was normalized as a coping strategy by introducing it to children otherwise unaware of the topic.

[Gorgonzeye]

Took me until my 30s to stop having night terrors about school.

[DynoStorm]

Comments arere larded. Very based talk

[Cavemandruid]

Survival instincts can be one hell of a sum bitch. Got kicked out at 17 and instantly had to lock in even if my brain didnt want to. Its the access to having a way out of any situation (living with parents, not growing up) My grandmother treated me like a flightless baby bird. Either you make it or you don't when thrown out the house and there isnt a single day that goes by that im not grateful for the tough love she gave me. It sucked but atleast I can take care of myself now and handle more stress than I would have before.

[et]

“No, you’re not”, that’s my response as a therapist. These kids are so messed up.

[Spock_Rogers]

I'm sure you're against eating meat and dairy, which are loaded with hormones.