Narcissistic relationships: closure vs justice

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[Honeyloopsx]

Closure = knowing no matter what you do they will never change. Knowing you never really knew them because all they did was lie.

[willowwhite]

Justice is you having the power to never speak to them ever again.

[dolorazajick]

You can forget getting either from a narcissist. True closure is when one loses the need for either. The closure is with yourself, not the narcissist.
Breaking away comes in steps ( some steps are sometimes simultaneous)
1. realizing you are engaged with a narcissist in the first place
2. Understanding why you need love from someone who doesn't have the capacity to give it to you
3. Understanding that you can't squeeze water from a rock and breaking away.
3. Grieving what you have lost, the abuse you have endured and what you never had
4. Getting past the anger at what you have lost, the abuse you have endured and what you never had
5. Understanding that you have internalized the narcissist's projections which has allowed them to manipulate you,
and how you have been used as a mirror to reflect what the narcissist needs and wants the rest of the world to see.
6. A period of isolation to reflect on all this. Think of it as a caterpillar in a chrysalis. If you don't wrap yourself into a cocoon to reflect on these things, you will never become a butterfly. If you become a butterfly, you will discover a much happier and more satisfying life. If you don't, you will just hop from one narcissistic entanglement to another one, remain a caterpillar and will not attain your rightful fulfillment as a human being. You will also be able to give more in the right way and make the world a better place.
Signed,
A wise old goat with butterfly wings.

[NarcSurvivor]

Justice can sometimes = closure. But really your closure needs to come from within. You need to validate yourself and reaffirm to yourself what you had to go through.

[uzmazaidi]

For a very long time I wanted justice for my narcissistic marriage. Never got it from friends, family and definitely not from religion! Narcissists are very good at gaining allies. No justice or closure or redemption ever came. Just had to dust myself off and keep walking…nothing feels lonelier than healing.

[bagobeans]

Sometimes walking away is the only closure you can have. It's not my responsibility to make them understand what they did. They refuse to listen or see what they did to you. If they do, which I am sure they do, they just don't care.
You learn from it, and move on.
One thing I have learned, from your videos, is that I can recognize this dangerous behavior in others, and have learned to stay away. There are so many red flags out there, so many out there who want nothing more than to hurt you.
As for justice, in my belief, only God gives out justice. And in the end, they will face their maker, as we all will, and will have to give an account of their actions. Knowing this is what keeps me going.⚘

[briannenurse]

I feel that closure is something you can create for yourself when it isn't available within the situation. It's about your decisions and how you choose to move forward.

[breemorrison]

Dr. Ramani, I want to thank you for posting these videos. I have been in therapy for over a year, and I finally left my abusive partner...I watch you every day because it reinforces my decision and reminds me I'm not alone. You are the kind of strong woman i hope to grow to become. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.

[stariadreamtea]

This one made me cry. Wow. It's so unfair. That loneliness that no-one gets it. The burning of injustice. Feeling abandoned by society. The knowledge these people don't get consequences.

[j.m]

Closure is coming to terms with the truth about what happened, who the person is, and overall acceptance. Justice is having your truth told, being able to move on, and not making the same mistakes twice (or allowing the “narcissist” the privilege to have access to you).

[abracadaverous]

Justice isn't going to happen, and vengeance is empty. Shut the door and walk away. Closure happens after you've defended your perimeter from the narcissist, and stop expecting that person to behave in a rational or empathetic way.

[mgb]

Going through a divorce from a malignant attorney who has thrown wrench after wrench into the process. I have developed indifference to him, himself, but the anger and frustration at the system and lack of justice is so painful. I will be fine; this will be over eventually. But in the meantime it sometimes just is overwhelming. Hang in there. You will make it through.

[legginglovers]

Justice is cutting your losses and closure is your healing…❤

[angelashrope]

I think there is another kind of closure. I'm now 50 years old and it' took me buckets of tears, a 20 year abandonment, 30 years of counseling on and off again, self-help books, support groups, parenting classes and my relationship with God to finally find closure. In 2016 I visited to my parents and realized that I put in too much work on myself to slip back into this and take my children with me. I had said as pleasant a good bye as I could all things considering. Then a good bye by phone to my dad for the last time. It took me this long to let go and be okay about it all. I have learned to stop blaming myself and it's pointless to blame them. They both sleep well at night. I wish them well and I feel sorry for them but I firmly believe in the saying that you are what you hang around and I say no thank you. To every person that is healing from a narcissistic mother - know this - it is not your fault. It never was and never will be. If I could get a big neon sign and put that on top of my house I would. It was the turning point of my healing.

[williamallen]

Closure: Accept that the person is a narcissist and expect them to always act as a narcissist. Justice: You are grateful for the ability to recognize all narcissists and know how to accordingly respond to achieve your desired outcome.

[sammylhpate]

Narcissism destroys lives. Period
Identify, accept, release, forgive yourself.
Justification & validation truly cone from within. NPD's do not process emotions. Accept that fact & practice

[salliekim]

I got some closure by educating myself and telling others about my experience. I told a close friend who is still friends with my ex narc and she had a hard time believing me. So there’s no justice in that. BUT I am in highly regarded graduate school program on my way to being a licensed therapist so everyone can suck it. 😂

[RosyMacu]

Not having to deal with their regular use of triangulation, scapegoating, projection and just plain out right assholery. Is all the justice & closure I’ll ever need.

[b-Image]

Closure from narcissistic relationships comes from me knowing that you cannot compete with someone who always finds something wrong with everything to say the least. Justice is knowing that I have some thing the narcissist will never have, a positive energy and light I don’t walk around trying to manipulatively ruin others. ❤❤🎉🎉

[Sam-plyd]

Yes Dr Ramani 💕they shift the blame and will never admit what they did and never will they are liars and abusive bullies😔thank you for your true strong words🙏❤️