Just as the Founding Fathers Intended

full-auto magazine-fed brown bess
If you have any voice acting or voice over requests let me know and if it's funny I'll do it.

[alexrecrem]

If I broke into a house and the man said "tally ho lads!" While wearing a powered wig I would break back out.

[cashkromsupernerd]

Man, Home Alone is a little different than I remember

[triangulum]

I love how the cannon is always loaded and always mounted at the top of the stairs

[MrSam]

"bro are you high?"
"Let me check. Yes, high on American spirit, just like the founding fathers intended"

[shprungus]

If I’m robbing a man and the first thing I hear is “What the devil?!?” As a man in a powdered wig grabs a musket I’m jumping right back out the window

[LaserCoreX]

"Misses him entirely, because it's smooth bore, and nails the neighbor's dog."

ATF Approves.

[RealAugustusAutumn]

Remember, Thomas Jefferson believed citizens should be able to own canons and warships if they could afford them

[banditlord]

This is a reminder that you can legally own cannons…so in theory grapeshot for home defense is indeed technically legal..

[Riptomus]

That was extremely constitutional of you

[justtheinstinct]

You had me at "blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man. He's dead on the spot."

[XtreemAlan]

If I'm robbin' a dude and he calls me "Ruffian" bro I'm just walkin' back out the door

[lowfatmilk]

A classic blunder for home defense first timers, you don’t have the cannon at the top of the stairs as it could block the stairway, a much more practical option is to have a full 15 man musket firing line positioned in a volley fire position at the top of the stairs instead.

[overipecanine]

I think the fact that it looks like they are just following him to see what he does even if it means death is just brilliant.

[scottski]

"Misses him entirely and nails the neighbor's dog."

ATF: "What's the issue?"

[a_common_weeb]

I love how there's a normal American police explorer and then a British jag police car at the same house

[kvproductions]

Fun fact: most people think if you showed this meme to the founding fathers they wouldn't laugh because they don't underestand modern humor, but the real reason they wouldn't laugh is because they're dead.

[redjaypictures]

Fun fact: muskets are not counted as firearms by the US so you can legally own one without having to register or license it

[EliWritesStories]

Good lord, he didn't have a puckle gun at the ready? Quite sad!

[avishai]

Something like this happened during the Revolutionary War. 78-year-old Samuel Whittemore killed three British soldiers in exactly this fashion as recounted here from a Wiki article:
"Whittemore was in his fields when he spotted an approaching British relief brigade under Earl Percy, sent to assist the retreat. Whittemore loaded his musket and ambushed the British grenadiers of the 47th Regiment of Foot from behind a nearby stone wall, killing one soldier. He then drew his dueling pistols, killed a second grenadier and mortally wounded a third. By the time Whittemore had fired his third shot, a British detachment had reached his position; Whittemore drew his sword and attacked. He was subsequently shot in the face, bayoneted numerous times, and left for dead in a pool of blood. He was found by colonial forces, trying to load his musket to resume the fight. He was taken to Dr. Cotton Tufts of Medford, who perceived no hope for his survival. However, Whittemore recovered and lived another 18 years until dying of natural causes at the age of 96."

[kim]

One of the absolutely best green texts ever created