People Pleasers and Emotional Eating

People pleasers are individuals who often prioritize the needs and desires of others over their own. They have an inherent desire to gain approval, acceptance, and validation from those around them. People pleasers tend to avoid conflict, fearing disapproval or rejection. They may go to great lengths to ensure the happiness of others, often neglecting their own needs in the process. If this sounds like you, welcome to the club! Good for you for realizing this - - I was a people pleaser for years and didn’t even know it!!!

To avoid labeling, I will call this tendency “people who people please”.

The connection between people who people please and emotional eating can be attributed to several underlying factors:
* Emotional Suppression: People who people please tend to suppress their own emotions in order to maintain harmony and avoid conflict. This emotional suppression and self-neglect can create a build-up of unresolved feelings, leading to increased vulnerability to emotional eating as a way to numb or distract from those suppressed emotions.
* External Validation: People who people please often seek external validation as a source of self-worth. When they fail to meet their own high standards or perceive themselves as falling short, they experience feelings of guilt or shame. Emotional eating can temporarily alleviate these negative emotions by providing a sense of comfort and pleasure, as well as a distraction from self-criticism.
* Stress, Overwhelm, Resentment and Other Not So Fun Feelings: Frequently prioritizing the needs of others can lead to chronic stress, overwhelm, resentment, self-judgement for resenting, etc. for people who people please. Emotional eating can serve as a way to temporarily escape or soothe anxiety. Food acts as a source of comfort, providing a brief respite from the pressures of constantly trying to please others.
Breaking the Cycle:
* Self-Awareness: Developing self-awareness around the patterns of people-pleasing and emotional eating is the first step. Pay attention to your own emotional states, situations, triggers, and the underlying reasons behind your people pleasing and eating habits.
* Experience Emotions: Explore alternative strategies to experience emotions effectively. Engage in activities such as journaling, mindfulness, or seeking support from friends, family, or a nutrition therapist to develop more fulfilling ways to experience life.

* Cultivate A Sense of Self Worth: Realize your worth is not dependent on what you do. Do this by recognizing that your needs and emotions are important and valid.
* Assertiveness and Boundaries: Learn to set boundaries and communicate assertively. Prioritize your own needs, well-being and life. Understand that it is okay to say no and prioritize yourself.

* Feel The Feels: Saying no may feel really weird and uncomfortable in the beginning. Feeling uncomfortable doesn’t mean you did something wrong! In fact feeling uncomfortable is a great thing. It means you are finally feeling the feelings you have been avoiding all along!!!
I would love to hear your stories… Share a time when you challenged your own people pleasing tendencies.
xx Eve