3 Stoic Strategies For Overcoming Your Anger and Stress | Ryan Holiday | Daily Stoic

The Stoics were very opposed to caving into anger. They believed anger led us to worsen, not solve problems we were facing. In this video, Ryan Holiday discusses strategies that the Stoics had for combatting anger and living a happier life.

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Stoicism is a practical philosophy. The main thinkers that the Daily Stoic focuses on in stoicism are Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca. The Daily Stoic is a guide to how to practice Stoicism in your daily life, the daily routines of Stoicism, and is a practical guide to Stoicism. This channel is Stoicism 101, it will tell you what Stoicism is and how to be a Stoic. Ryan Holiday has been practicing stoicism and writing about stoicism for more than a decade and his insights will give you guidance to practicing stoicism in your day to day life.

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Ryan Holiday has influenced the modern stoicism movement greatly. His books are read by modern stoicism's practitioners like Tim Ferriss, Robert Greene, and others.

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[frankthetank]

Just lost my temper a few minutes ago. I open Youtube and this is on my recommended. Thank you.

[QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”
― Marcus Aurelius

[QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
― Mark Twain

[HenryHale]

Anger is a luxury I can no longer afford in my life, and my understanding of stoicism is leading me in that direction. Thank you Ryan for such quality content and lessons; they have truly changed my life.

[corystegall]

Ryan I am genuinely in tears right now, I’ve always been a angry person although I’m also a very loving person as well, I guess one would say a very passionate person. I struggle deeply with my anger even after adopting stoicism. I just found out that I’m probably being cheating on and it has had me to the point of a rage that I cannot hold in. I’m now in tears because I’ve been moved I see now that there may be something I’ve missed in this situation that my anger bested me

[benedictchukwudi]

My life has experienced much turn around since I joined stoicism... Ryan has much influenced my pattern of life through his ancient stoic wisdoms. Thanks Ryan

[johnbailey]

Thank you, i felt my anger creating a torrent inside of me and my mood set the course of my day but just now i took the time to find reason in it. Stoic Philosophy is about looking at the bigger picture and ive found peace. Im human but if i cant control myself then i can never be free, never be a slave to your emotions. You will become the way you react. Be kind to yourself. Thank you for this video, i have time to reflect and understand.

[carlorizzo]

Thanks, it's slowly sinking in. The epiphany of stoicism is remarkable considering ancient Roman culture was alcoholic, chronic anger being the metabolic side effect of liver impairment. The snide comments re masking are astonishingly ignorant

[mattpope]

Thank You. In beginning to study Stoicism I have immediately recognized the problem that anger presents me in my life. In addition to the upheavals that have many of us anxious and frustrated lately, I have also been experiencing the midlife situations that cause so many of us maximum stress and irritability. When I find myself losing my temper I have reflected on the Stoic ideals and repeated the phrase “he who angers you controls you” and it has helped give me pause to take a few deep breaths and try to be the man I want to be instead of losing control of my temper.

[stefanexplores]

Thank you for these insights, Ryan! That's what I love about meditation. It has allowed me to recognize when I'm irrationally angry. Then observe it for what it is and ask myself if it's constructive to remain angry. It probably isn't, so I stop being angry and move on.

[davidarbelaez]

Social Media created the mess we are in today.

[BurnellWashburn]

Thanks Ryan! Helpful today for sure. Upstairs neighbors driving me insane lol. First time I’ve felt anger in years and I even felt violent thoughts arising which is super rare for me. Going out in nature helps, breath work helps, meditation helps, listening to stuff like this helps. Grateful to have tools to work through this in healthier ways

[irhystea]

Everytime an obstacle comes in my way and I don't know how to deal with it, the daily stoic comes with that needed wisedom. I'm so grateful for this video and all the wisdom given before! Thank you

[jaxx-inspiregrowcreate]

Anger is a weakness. It shows we are a slave to the emotion

[Yetilise]

Transcription for those who need it:

1. Losing your temper is a luxury. There are things you get upset about and there are things that hit you so hard, or so frustrating that you find yourself almost in a state of Zen-link calm. "I'm not even angry", we say. "I'm beyond mad". It's interesting how the things you do lose your temper about, pale in comparison or in seriousness to these other things.

You're mad that construction has slowed down traffic but when United fails to provide a pilot for the flight you've paid a lot of money for and your trip is now seven hours delayed, you simply accept it and deal with it. You yelled when somebody screwed up at work but when a truly serious mistake happens, you somehow have the composure to reassure them.

In his essay on anger, Seneca tells of a man who endured a dinner with the emperor who just murdered his son so as to save his remaining son. That seems super human but the reality is that that man probably also regularly lost his temper about the same kinds of things that you do: rude remarks, unnecessary noise, expensive things that don't work. So how is that contradiction possible?

Perhaps it's that deep down, we know these other situations we allow ourselves to get upset about don't matter. It's like how when we scratch our knee, our pain receptors light up, but if our arm had been torn off, our nervous system would protect us. What a stoic takes from this biological and psychological quirk is that we do have the power not to freak out.

We can deal with situations calmly. If we can contain ourselves after a colossal screw up because we know there's too much work to do, we can contain ourselves when somebody drops an ordinary ball. If we can keep our cool when our life is on the line, we can keep our cool when the stakes are low. We have proof. Losing your temper is a luxury. You're allowing yourself to get upset. You're telling yourself that it doesn't matter. But it does matter and the stakes are high. So act that way.

2. You should know this before you get angry.

People will piss you off in this life. That's a given. You'll get cut off on the highway. You'll be spoken to rudely. You'll get blown off. Someone will drop the ball. Someone's screaming baby will keep you up all night. But before you get upset, you should stop yourself because maybe there's something you don't quite know about that situation.

Think about Brandon Matthews who was about to make contact on a putt that could have secured him a spot in the PGA Open and then suddenly a spectator screamed. Matthews threw up his hands in disbelief. The interruption cost him the tournament. Well, it turns out, that the middle-aged man who had yelled, had Down Syndrome. In fact, he was such a fan of Matthews that he couldn't contain his excitement. "I was frustrated at first" said Matthews, "because I didn't understand the full circumstances behind it. But once I did, it was a pretty easy situation for me to handle." He walked over to that fan and gave him his golf ball and a hug.

"Until you know their reasons", Epictetus once said, "how do you know whether they have acted wrongly?" That moron that cut you off on the highway, what if he's speeding to the hospital? That crying baby could be sick or have two parents that are just as exhausted as you." The person who spoke rudely to you might be dying. They might have a broken heart.

The Stoics remind us to be empathetic. "Almost no one does wrong on purpose, " Socrates said. Maybe they don't know better. Maybe as Marcus said, "they don't know the difference between good and evil" which is why we have to stop ourselves before we get angry. We have to think about their reasons, what's going on with them. It's OK that you might struggle to control your snap judgements and emotional responses. The word Epictetus used was "Phantasiai", which appears more than 200 times in his discourses. But what matters is what you do after that wears off, what we do next. That's what Brandon Matthews did. He reigned himself in. He got his mind around the situation, and then he went and did something touching and kind. And, in that moment, he was as great an athlete as there ever was, pulling off a far more impressive feat than sinking that putt, which is why tournament officials of the Arnold Palmer Invitational, offered Matthews a spot in the 120 player field, his first PGA Tour event and it was well deserved.

3. Love them as you love yourself.

Other people. They are everything Marcus Aurelius said and more, "dishonest, arrogant, envious, frustrating, short-sighted, selfish." And yet, other people are not hell, as the expression goes. They are all we have. They are not even other. They are us. We are all part of one whole, the Stoics would say. The Rabbi Hillel was once asked to explain the Torah: "Love thy neighbor as thyself, " he said, "all the rest is commentary."

Love thy neighbor as thyself. Nothing right now could be more urgent during a pandemic and a global economic crisis and when civil unrest royals our streets. In a time when individual decisions have massive health consequences for other people, no message is more fitting.

When we are debating and fight what equality under the law means, nothing is more fitting. Why should you wear a mask and wash your hands? Because you love your neighbors. Why should you donate to food banks, pay your taxes, or treat the people who work for you, or serve your food, or deliver your packages well? Why should you care about civil rights? Because you love your neighbors. We must rise above these pettifogging political distinctions, this enmity and bitterness, and dunking on the other side? Because we love our neighbors. Because the other side is made up of our neighbors and it is us.

"Everyone we meet is an opportunity for kindness, " Seneca said. "The fruits of this life are acts for the common good, " Marcus said. That's all that matters. Everything else is commentary or less.

[ericrumley]

Ryan I will remember this, I will not forget!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you ! I have ordered Marcus Arelious meditations and am very excited to start on my journey of stoicism. I very much wish someone would have taken me by the hand and led me down this path when I was a child. What Heartache it Potentially it could have saved me.

[lizmonard]

My anger is 99% toward myself. I have chronic pain and fatigue, and every day I try to achieve a few small but important goals, but everyday I fail. My frustration is out of control, I am a terrible spoilt brat who never gets their own way. The angrier I get, the more upset I get that I’m not accepting of my limitations.. unfortunately sometimes my anxiety reaches levels where I might snap at others for any unintentional impediment they place in my way.. 😢

[joaquingonzalez]

One of your best videos, I even shed some tears.
btw I love the fact that you put the transcript on screen

[rodrigoenriquepizarrodyer]

Thank you so much Ryan! this is pure gold!

[pj]

One of the best and most useful videos on YouTube. Much gratitude for this.