9 Phrases You Should NEVER Say To Anyone

Have you ever said something to someone that you immediately regretted? We've all been there. But there are some phrases that you should NEVER say to anyone, no matter what.

In this video, we'll be sharing 9 phrases that you should avoid saying to anyone, whether it's a friend, family member, or colleague. From insensitive comments to hurtful remarks, we'll cover the worst things you can say and why they're so damaging. We will also be explaining why these phrases are so hurtful. By the end of this video, you'll have a better understanding of how to communicate effectively with others and avoid causing unnecessary pain.

So, if you're ready to improve your communication skills and build stronger relationships with those around you, watch this video now! Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more great content.

Writer: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera
Animator: vaine (new animator)
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

REFERENCES:

[thatonepekokinnie]

You forgot "people suffer more than you, be grateful"

[yinnie-]

1.🎀 0:33 "you're too emotional"
2.🎀 0:50 "stop making things up"
3.🎀 1:04 "you shouldn't feel that way"
4.🎀 1:15 "i don't think that's an issue!"
5.🎀 1:37 "just stay positive!"
6.🎀 1:54 "just ignore it!"
7.🎀 2:11 "i'm sorry that you feel that way"
8.🎀 2:33 "everything happens for a reason"
9.🎀 2:51 "don't be such a wuss/crybaby!"

[Element]

I have a bff who has depression, I try to help her. But I don’t EVER want to say something that could hurt her. So this has helped, thanks!❤

[thatonepekokinnie]

I was always told that I was a crybaby and too sensitive. That resulted me to bottling up, which made me feel sadness more than anything.

[diamondifm]

It's because of these phrases that so many people are on my "never open up to this person" list. It's hard enough to say or express certain things, only to be invalidated right out of the gate.

[kitycatrggaming]

I told my mom I feel lonely.
She got a bit frustrated (angry)
Raised her tone
And started giving me examples of places of people, as if she's trying to prove my feelings wrong

It got me frustrated

She said "I'm trying to show u a different perspective"
No you're just trying to literally invalidate how I feel.
I told this to ppl, someone even sided with her...

Or saying something like
"Why are you even crying?"
In a teasing tone
While you're having a mf panic attack.

"What's wrong with you??"

"Stop shouting/screaming"
While you're literally crying or having a panic attack, feeling absolutely hopeless

Or saying sarcastic jokes about your actions-> that stem from your negative feelings.
Like: "So is she just gonna stay in her room all day?"
And much more...

Throwing your emotional bagage at them, while they were just a bit honest with you, and wanted advice/help.

"So what?"

Saying everyone cares about them, including you, have an emotional moment together-
BUT then never speak to them again...

Making them feel like a burden.

Giving you an *angry* stink eye
For saying one thing.
(Like if you're $u¢|d@\ for example)

Leaving mid way conversation, before person finishes speaking.

Not talking at all throughout the whole conversation, like u don't give a sh#t about what they're saying- if they waited for your reply.
Like literally having to ask you if you're there and u late to even answer something simple as that.
(Pretty much not listening at all)

"You're not being you/acting as usual"
Making u feel as if they're suspicious of who you are and your "true" identity.

Saying to someone they're just being an "attention seeker"

Punishing them for being honest with u about their negative emotions

"Well I don't care."

Saying you're too exausted to help(in a mean way)->tired of what they're saying/have more important things to do.
Said in an insensitive way

Telling you to just *do things, * as if it's simple.

Telling that you got bad sleep,
And then someone just tells you "rest is important."
(No sh#t Sherlock👍 very helpful of you saying that something I haven't done is important, I wouldn't have asked for a help if I *haven't* thought it was important. My greatest appreciation.)

"(Oh-)Don't cry (now)"
(Makes you feel like you're treated like a "dum" child as well, if it's said as if you're "cute")

"Keep on smiling"
*(While you cry)*

Look I still have many examples...
But I'll try to keep it short
I got most of them sadly
Too much of it...
I also don't trust (barely) anyone👍
So ty all.
Well I hope it was helpful...
There are many ways to hurt someone, sadly.
"Humans are fragile" after all....
As some ppl said.

Thx for reading🙃✨

[PhstiX]

You know, this video WAS useful for me, because I never thought phrases like "I'm sorry that you feel that way" may harm someone. And now I am aware and ready to take on new horizons!

[theebriamari]

“I’m sorry you feel that way” was something I’ve said before. Thank you for educating me on how this can be invalidating. I didn’t realize and I appreciate this video so much ❤so I can be more aware of how to support the others and make them feel validated

[Starx_lol]

The thumbnail 💀
Edit:bc the thumbnail i click this vid 💀

[AutomaticDuck]

“It’s all in your head”

Yes it is. Where else would it be? In my knees?

[Fierth]

Everything happens for a reason is probably the worst of these for me. No, if someone died in my life and it serves a purpose, it's a shitty one. And no, if I got dumped and I'll find some else, it doesn't make it feel better at that moment. People THINK that because they have some sort of belief that helps them get thru hard times, it will necessarily help another too, while in practice it can actually cause more harm, since some people just need to be allowed to feel bad and sulk in order to get better.

[theamp]

My older sisters says, “it’s pathetic you tell people your problems.” (*after I learn to be more emotionally expressive and vulnerable to her). “Don’t use your illness as a crutch.” (My quarter in the university trying to not ask for learning accommodations). “You’re too sensitive.” “Why you crying? It’s not gonna save you.” It’s okay cause now I’m distant and trying to unlearn to become gentle with myself while I navigate my chronic illness.

[Pizzabun]

I feel like many of these can have different meanings in a different context where it is fine to say them out loud.
F.e. I sometimes say "I'm sorry you feel that way" when a friend is sharing their bad day, to let them know I genuinely feel bad for them. I do follow up with something to cheer them up and/or make their feelings feel validated.
On their own, the presented phrases should be avoided. But with the right context, they can be positively powerful!

[pepperslice]

I was called a Killjoy once because I was mentally in a bad space and didn't live up to the happy-interaction-standards. It still lives rent free in my head to this day.

[viniciuslacerda]

I have a anger control problem and something you should never say after someone has an anger attack (I don't know if it has a specific name) is "when you start to get angry you should calm down". I heard that so many times, no one understands what happens and just think you are childish and wants attention, also never say them they are overreacting or they are childish, I've been called a kid too many times by everyone when I as suffering and its not cool

Sorry if the text is bad, I'm bad at writing and English is not my native language

[zombinosh]

I got the majority of these as a child. Apparently I had a huge imagination. Made it easier for the adults to deny that there was something that needed attended to by them. Went off Sertraline (Zoloft) last year after 13 years and a lot of things have come back that were hidden away. Feeling quite a bit of rage at times but, as far as I see it, it's better that I'm working through it all myself.

[hafsasamia]

I realized that I've said the phrases "I'm sorry that you feel that way" and "everything happens for a reason" quite a few times and I didn't see anything wrong with it because I meant it in a good way. But thank you for sharing this so we can learn to better ourselves and validate those who are hurting.

[amyyaku]

Probably the most toxic phrase I've ever heard is "it's not that deep/it's not that big of a deal" especially when I come to a friend about a lie they told or a supposed "joke". Not surprisingly one friend accused me of other things and told me to "stop being so emotional".

I've since cut him out of my life, but those phrases really show you how little respect someone has for you and your feelings.

[bluebanana]

I use “I’m sorry you feel that way” in work emails. I wouldn’t have said this is invalidating. More to acknowledge that they feel negatively about something and you’re just sorry to see this and want to help.

[dietotaku]

i love this video so much. i run an online support group and we have a litany of phrases that aren't allowed because they are inherently invalidating (and that's not even getting into the people who think invalidation is *good and necessary* for support, omg). we've also banned phrases like "just to play devil's advocate, " "this might/will hurt to hear, " "i'm not trying to shame you, BUT..." and "what you allow will continue." playing devil's advocate is basically taking the other person's side in a conflict - someone is talking about how their husband's words hurt them, they don't need to hear what amounts to "you're overreacting/misunderstanding him." they need confirmation that yes, those words were hurtful and HE needs to apologize. you already touched on saying things that you already know are going to hurt rather than help, and when someone starts with a disclaimer "BUT" it's a sure sign they're about to say something hurtful or invalidating. "what you allow will continue" is basically victim-blaming, putting the cause of the hurtful words or behavior on the person who was hurt for "allowing" it rather than the person doing the hurting in the first place. far better to affirm that the victim has the right to stand up for themselves, and demand a stop to the hurtful behavior rather than feeling like they have to let it slide. "you don't deserve to be treated that way, put your foot down and we will be right here to back you up" is much more supportive and validating than "well, what you allow will continue..."