SALARY NEGOTIATIONS BE LIKE

[Joss]

"What's your budget?"
"We don't have a budget."

"Then I want all the money."

[MT-somk]

"I bring a lot to the table"
"This is a table-free work environment"

[ntanimates]

"I am not working for less than 400k"
"Sir, this is a Wendy's"

[Jako]

Me to the IRS: "Can't tell the salary. I signed the NDA."

[launchpadmcquack]

"signed an NDA" is such a power move

[realNoMee]

"What's your salary expectation?"
"Livable"
"It was nice meeting with you but we will be going with a different candidate at this time."

[sifutophmasterofeyerolling]

"I bring a lot to the table"
Me applying for the waiter position

[drdozer]

"its a pretty standard role"
"Then why are we negotiating?"

[kavaianimu]

"i bring alot to the table"
"We dont have a table"

[Crippdid]

Cant wait to start my professional career so I can panic in an interview and say the smallest number that comes to mind.

[GeekOverdose]

"I signed an NDA"
"Oh thats illegal, we'll pay your lawyer fees if you get sued. Now. What's your current salary"

[bgmhd]

"what's you salary expectations"
"what's you budget"
"get out"

[Duckpo]

"We don't have a budget."
"Then how am I supposed to get paid?"

[skippinlivin]

"what's your budget ?'
" We don't have one"
" I want 2 mil every month"

[ShiraIshikawa]

"We don't have a budget"
"Then why the heck you are hiring?"

[dehman]

Words to the wise, HR never opens up recruitment before a budget was already decided for the post you're applying for.

[omar]

"What's your budget?"
"We don't have a budget."

"Good, $100k per month looks reasonable for me"

[ExquisiteSquid]

"The minimum I'd accept is $X"
Immediately gets an offer for $X

[AnurXg_xD]

"i bring alot to the table"
Your hired
- Looking for waiters

[williamduke]

"What's your current salary"?
"4 Trazillion dollars"