Forgiveness doesn’t lead to Closeness

[deeps]

Forgiveness is unsustainable until the behavior improves.

[roxanahernandez]

“Your body is smarter than that, and knows this person isn’t safe.” Perfectly said. Love your content

[bellagab]

I don't want to hear "I'm sorry". I want to see effort and change in whatever is causing the problem. Otherwise it's an empty apology

[sannajohanna]

This was the best explanation about forgivness than I’ve ever heard! Yes, when trust is gone, the relationship is dead.

[lindamceachern]

Trust once broken is difficult to rebuild. You forgive but you never forget.

[aawrnnc]

Yes! There’s a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can forgive someone but still keep boundaries because the other person has not earned your trust. It is a balancing act.

[absue]

If the person who hurt you shows genuine repentance, trust can be rebuilt but it will take time. Without that genuine repentance, trust cannot be rebuilt.

[carrlafleurfam]

Love requires action. Trust requires proof. Sorry requires change.

[LmB-hnpu]

“The axe forgets; The tree remembers.” We can practice forgiveness, and continue to grow, but it is so difficult when the axe is family. I understand much better, now, why that is. Thankyou 🙏

[kvanover]

Well said. This really helped me understand why forgiveness alone never felt safe.

[wollypollywakadoodle]

“Your body is too smart for that” “why would your body want to give more of itself to someone who is simply taking advantage of you” Thank you Jimmy for all your help. These words are 100% true. You feel it, maybe not immediately, maybe you ignore it at first; regardless, your body & your soul know.

[namrataagarwal]

Man you deserve an award for explaining it so beautifully

[usero-ey]

Forgive is like the person who steps on your feet on the bus, he says I'm sorry! and you say oh it's okay, I'll be fine, but your foot still hurts... you need time to not feel anything and feel ok...

[beautifully_wonderfullymade]

100%. Even if you want reconnection your body remembers and is waiting for safety.

[sonjacillie]

This is the best explanation of forgiveness I have come accross. AND it makes me realize that I have forgiven, yet I don't feel safe with this person and don't want a close relationship with them. It is such an important distinction. I do have peace around what they did, how their actions hurt me, and I know they did it from their "hurt - dysregulated - intergenerational trauma". I have forgiven that AND I don't want to be in close proximity to them. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS

[c.j.peterson]

My husband was diagnosed with narcissistic socialpath disorders in 2015 by a doctor. But, by that time, my husband had already made sure that I couldn't leave him. My health is almost ruined after 25 yrs of verbal, emotional, physical, and financial abuse. So, I just trust the Lord and pray that he will open doors for me to leave without losing everything. You are absolutely right!!❤❤

[LykaFoxbriar]

and so many times I hear "i'm Sorry YOU feel hurt" Not "I'm sorry for the pain I caused" or even "The things that happened weren't ok and I'm sorry". So many times it's about me being the one "acting" or "feeling" hurt instead of the simple fact that they did it or the situation/fight caused the harm

[charn]

I love this explanation. It answers years of self blaming that something is setting with me because I feel I have forgiven that person, but am always on guard! TRUST! Makes total sense!! ❤

[Sweetbonbon]

🤯🤯🤯 YES! That’s EXACTLY what I was looking for! A PERFECT explanation! Forgiveness doesn’t lead to #1 safety and #2 connection. I can forgive you, however if I still don’t feel safe then I’m not going to come closer. I don’t have to return to a toxic relationship just because I have history with it

[yourconnection]

And even when some people say that they're sorry, they're just uttering words.