Forgiveness is Not the Same as Reconciliation

Have you ever heard the expression, ‘To err is human; to forgive, divine?’ Surprisingly this well-known phrase does not come from the Bible but a poem by the English poet Alexander Pope.

Today, Fr. Mike shares some great insights into the process of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration and how God offers all three stages to us in the Sacrament of Confession.

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[MariaPullatt]

One time a Priest told me "Loving someone doesn't always mean you have to like them." Changed my life.

[michelelewis]

Here is a prayer to start the process of forgiveness: “Dear Lord, I know I need to forgive this person, but I don’t want to. Please help me.” Believe me, he WILL help!

[TheFinalFifty]

While I initially thought that this came at the exact wrong time, as I'm in a process of hoping and trusting God to reconcile and restore a broken relationship, this came at just the right time. The exact, right time. His timing is perfect and he is so good.

[BlindFaith]

What Forgiveness has become for me is:
1. Recognition that I’ve been hurt
2. Letting the person know they’ve hurt me.
3. Deciding if I can carry on with the relationship. Once someone has shown me their true colors and it becomes clear that they will not, can not change, I have every right to stop contact with them or alter the amount of contact with them.
4. Each time the hurt of the person that has wronged me haunts me, I pray for them. I also pray for forgiveness of any wrong I’ve done towards anyone, ever.

Some people (like family members) I practice cordial contact with. I keep them at arms length, I’m kind, I’m cordial but I don’t keep close relations with them as I’m very aware of what they are capable of should I allow them back into my life on a closer level.

[naturenut]

Good one! I thought being Catholic meant I had to keep turning the other cheek and be a doormat. Always forgiving and getting walked on. This is the first time I heard about reconciliation and not exactly trusting another who has deeply offended until they earn it back.

[marypinakat]

*"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the Violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."*
- MARK TWAIN

[Autobotmatt]

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things someone can do.

[GuadalupeLopez-tzdf]

I pray my Mom sees this video and understands that I forgive my brother for what he did. I also forgive my siblings for not being supportive. This does not mean I have to be around those who have hurt me. Thank you so much for this video

[Kristinemay]

Wow I really needed to hear this. For so long I struggled because I wanted to forgive those who hurt me (family members) but I also felt guilty for wanting to stay away from them. I thought to forgive means I should be able to let go and just ignore the hurt they caused. Now I'm relieved to know that I don't have to keep trusting them if all they do is ruin that trust and take advantage of my kindness. I'll pray for them though, and for us to possibly have restoration in the future.

[DWallization]

Jesus' restoration of us after we do confession is absolutely worthy of Fr. Mike's praise, but it is also very convicting. This whole video I was thinking about how tragic it is whenever you've injured a relationship to the point that restoration takes years and trust is severed. Then he hit me with what Jesus does for us every time we go to reconciliation. We are truly not worthy for Him to enter under our roof.

[rosyreverie]

I needed this. It’s the first time I’ve heard that forgiveness doesn’t get rid of the hurt and the pain. I’ve always felt like in order to forgive I needed to ignore the pain that others have caused me. I can forgive, but they no longer have my trust.

[stone.durfey]

I have done as you said, and slowly let them back into my life. Only to have the same things happen again. I'm not mad...I forgive them completely. But unless I want to be hurt over and over...never being able to measure up, to what they expect of me. I have had to say enough. I'm sorry but you can no longer be a part of my life. I'm just done. There is so much more I would like to spill out, but talking to others about how I feel....about what has happened. Is not good to share. So I have slowly learned to let it go.

[ShadowKing]

It’s ok to forgive someone but not want to reconcile with them. Especially if they continue doing the wrong things to you over and over again. To me forgiveness is when you’re no longer concerned or feeling hatred toward that person. Letting go is part of forgiving.

[Bazerkly]

"Always Forgive but Never, Ever Forget"

[angrypotato_fz]

Thank you, Father Mike. I never tought about counting the debt first. Forgiveness rooted in justice, that's wise.

[sl-texh]

Thank you, Father Mike...been suffering with my past child abuse. Parents have twisted my reality ....God is the only way, He is so loving and wise, Jesus died for our Salvation, Jesus is King, Amen🤍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[uncleRek]

Matthew Kelly: "...the more you love someone and the more that person hurts you, the harder it is to forgive."
"...it is my need to forgive not the others person's need to be forgiven."


Also, thanks Fr. Mike this video taught me I had reconciliation backwards.

[HyruleDude]

For me, forgiveness is not letting a wrong cause you to wish any harm to the person at all. Aside from that, leaving, letting go and walking away are all ok and Does not negate forgiving a person of their wrong. So, always wish the best, and be ok with any blessings a person gets who does you wrong, but feel free to remove them from your life and sometimes, you should.

[LPLVO]

This has come at the right time. I am finding it hard to forgive a situation and it constantly plays on my mind, even when it's been months now. It's hard not to think about it when they live right next door. I don't plan to talk to my neighbour, as that is my boundary - we do not need to be friends. I hope this is okay. I hope to one day reach forgiveness and not to be so angry about it, for my own wellbeing

[Gravitywalker]

Good and wise video from Fr. Mike. I've also found that a huge part of the process of reconciling is that the person who hurt or wronged you MUST be repenting as well. It is impossible to reconcile without repentance.