Get the Respect in Your Relationships You Deserve With This One Tip - Terri Cole

Are there people in your life who don’t respect your boundaries?

People you can’t talk true around, who use your words against you later?

People who don’t support what is best for you?

People who take and take, leaving you drained?

If you are nodding your head, you might need more discernment when it comes to who has access to you, and how much.

In this episode, I am covering what discernment is, why being discerning with the people in our life is important, how to practice discernment, and how discernment can improve the quality of your life and your relationships.

*Time Stamps*
0:00 - Introduction
2:05 - What is discernment?
3:35 - Differentiating preferences, limits, deal-breakers
5:40 - Example of a deal-breaker
7:40 - Judgment vs discernment
9:29 - Discerning what is healthy/unhealthy
11:34 - Discernment about how much we share
15:07 - 5 tips to become more discerning

*If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos*

*About Terri Cole*
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

*Connect With Me*

*Resources*

I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.

_Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust._

#terricoleshow #discernment #boundariesarehealthy

[anandanabila]

I always set boundaries and stuck to them if someone doesn’t like it then bye bye 😊

[marywolfe]

Intimacy - into me you see....we have to know who we are and our deal breakers and boundaries as you say before we can let anyone else "see" who we are. And...if we have been abused, gaslit, etc.we need to know who we are first because people will try to tell us who we are. Thank you very much for all your work.

[leslierisan]

“I don’t really give a shit” about approval ❤

[melstuder]

I wish I had your book when I was a teenager...how different my life would have been..thank you Teri...I am truly grateful for you ❤️

[Martty_]

Thanks Terri this means so much. For a chronic people pleaser with absolute no boundaries your guidance helps me so much. With boundaries i am noticing a lot of people i grew up with not happy with my distance. It almost seems they miss the control but my head feels lighter having to constantly rescue others mostly no one wants the advice.

[LynnSandler-jk]

Ive been through relationship with a man who is also a long time friend where I dated the narcissist for many years where Im trying to heal, I loved him way too much, cared too much. He was unwilling to compromise and work on himself and get needed therapy.

Teri Cole, the information you are sharing on this channel is reaching me, so helpful and empowering.

[msrosie]

the timing of this is spooky because it resonates so deeply with what im going through right now. thank you, i really needed to hear this

[megyerizsuzsadora]

Thanks so much Terri❤ I have just asked a man I have been getting to know about his opinion of male-female friendships as this has caused me pain in the past.
He has a female friend whom he calls almost every day and stays overnight at her place sometimes. For me it’s too much of an emotional closeness but I got more concerned about his response, ‘if it’s a dealbreaker for you, then end this. It’s your decision. My friends are important. You are jealous’. He is 50, am 43. Hm, my way or the high way thinking is not something I appreciate. I asked him about possible solutions/ setting new boundaries but he said it was my problem. In the past I would have stayed, now I feel both of us should be open to finding a solution, not just me. Again, thank you for your thoughts✨

[flyingcheff]

You absolutely got a balloon drop on the "if you don't respect somebody, who gives a shit what they think about you"! Bummer when it's your kid. Also devastating when you have to acknowledge that although you REALLY paid attention to how you raised your child, being conscious and really committed to doing it BETTER, showing up, and being there, (and no revolving door of replacement "fathers"), then they turn out to be a seemingly barely related, unconscious person that takes out ALL of their frustration about the parent that wasn't there, even when they are an adult. Wow, that's a very confusing kick in the gut that pretty much eviscerates.

[deeee]

Discernment can come as a gift as Christans believe. King David married Abigail because she was discerning. He loved the Abigail, also he understood he could get away better from his enemies with her as a wife.

[edaa]

ı wish you publish it as a turkish too.

[BritTellstheTruth]

“Not everybody has to be in your VIP section!”- Terri Cole…mic drop 🎤 😂❤ love you! From a random 36 year old recovering people-pleaser in California 😊 I appreciate your insight so much!! 🎉 🩷

[beverlyhogan]

I Have formerly read and heard, “Not everyone deserves to be in your life.” I Have also heard people comment (something like) that the five people you spend most of your time with determine the kind of person you become. Your elaboration of the first comment makes this comment explicit. I also like that you made a distinction between judging another and exercising discernment. I will stop here and just say that you shared many insights in this video.

[sherristevens]

Excellent differentiation between judgment and discernment! Thanks Terri!

[wendimakus]

Hi I'm Wendi, I've gotten a lot from your content! Appreciate your authentic insight

[ACHNACONE]

Wonderful video .. I love your ‘realness’ .. thank you for another great video 🙂

[msevolution]

Perfect timing, I did the automatic yes - thought I had grown past that but I realise I hadn’t cultivate the internal space of late to respond rather than react. 🙏

[awesomemax]

Terri!! Thank you for sharing the Good Friend or Frenemy Cheat Sheet. I downloaded it and it has help me realize who is not making me happy in the friendship. By the way, same here!! When i was 17, I did not know the meaning of frenemies, although I encountered one girl who is 7 years older than me. I kept wondering Oh my gosh, why does she keep looking jealous and pouchy lips when I dress with more stylish clothes or more accessories. I noticed she competing against me in Church the next Sunday. And I was wondering Uh why? That friend was happy when I was down and depressed but when I am happy and risen with a smile, she becomes unhappy and inferior to see me that way. After hearing your video and reading your downloads, now i know that person has a name-Frenemy. Take care. God bless!! Please continue uploading videos. It helps a lot!!🙂

[EsraaElmubark]

Exactly on opposite I find it very thoughtful when you put boundaries on appearance this your standards in life which should be respected, As an overweight person I find it very thoughtful and respectful to say out and move on !

[gravity]

My name is Richard, I appreciate your advice, I am soo glad that we have people that care about the quality of life.
Answer to the 1st 2nd 3rd question: neither